Sunday, September 27, 2009

Why we're where we're at

So those of you who know us pretty well know that we've always struggled financially. We've been in debt for years and I know that most have assumed it's been because we spend like a couple of idiots.
Well, I'm going to clear a few things up, but mostly I'm going to address the auto industry.
When Tyler and I first got married I had a job and so did Tyler. We both had okay jobs. Mine was the better of the two. I had benefits and salary and Tyler worked as a grunt doing Heating & Air Conditioning for a business that was slowly going out of business.
Within a month, give or take a few days, I got pregnant unexpectedly. I was on birth control and we both wanted to be more financially stable before having children, but God and Lacie both had different plans. She came before we were ready.
I got sick while pregnant with her and almost suffered a miscarriage! My Dr. told me to QUIT my job and get on bed rest or lose my baby. So I quit. I was not sacrificing my own child for stupid money.
I have a bad back, have had a bad back for some time, and Tyler's back wasn't perfect either, so we opted to get a four-door car. We had a two-door, my own I brought into the marriage, and it was just too much pulling the seat forward and bending over carrying heavy things. We learned with a move that it was a very painful thing to endure and figured that with a baby in a car seat it would be even worse.
So with our zero-interest car that we owed a mere 10,000.00 on it and the payments were manageable. We went to Larry H. Miller Used Car Sales in Sandy, Utah, and brought our nice car with us (well, sorda nice. It had a dent in one door and the tranny had died on us TWICE already & been replaced with obviously not a new one each time) and asked what they had that we could do a trade for.
We had 1,000.00 bucks with us for a down payment.
Now this is where we got royally screwed. Totally taken advantage of. We were naive, foolish, young, trusting. We traded in our car and gave them the 1,000.00 bucks (CRY CRY!!!!) for a car worth only about 9,000.00 or 10,000.00 at best. They told us it was worth a lot more than that but it was a brand new car so wasn't in the books yet. It was a Chevy Cavalier, 4-door, automatic, gold, 5,000 miles on it. (We suspect it had been a rental previously).
They took our car that was a midnight blue with a sunroof and in perfect condition minus the smell dent in the door (very easily fixed they assured us) and told us they'd do the trade for about 5,000.00. HALF of what we owed on it. So that was 6,000.00 that was supposed to be taken out of the new car that they said was worth 20,000.00. That's a load of BULL CRAP!!! That car was NOT worth half that much! So we paid them 21,000.00 dollars and they got a FREE car and 1,000.00 in cash!!!
So we got this new crappy, ugly little car (four-doors) for 21,000.00, gave them a nice car for free, and had a payment of 330.00 a month and insurance that was around 500.00 a month (due to bad driving & paying full liability, and Geico is expensive), and these two bills were to be what has sunk us to this day.
We had no idea how awfully we were screwed. We had no idea what pains and trials this would bring us, what sorrows and hardships and debt. It caused us so much pain!!! To this day we are paying for this car.
This car kept us from getting a house of our own when Tyler finally got a good job working out at Tooele Army Depot (he was forced to quit because of nepotism, but for even stupider and more selfish reasons I cannot write here).
We struggled for a while and would NOT have survived had the Church not stepped in and helped us until Tyler got another good job, a year or so later, working for Gunther's Comfort Air in American Fork.
Meantime I got pregnant again and got really sick in this pregnancy.
We did NOT believe in Mother being away from tiny little babies, making day care raise them, while Mother went out to seek her own selfish pursuits in life (i.e. school, career). So I stayed home with the chicklets.
I got very sick and had to have surgery WHILE pregnant with Sophie, the 2nd baby. I was induced early and a tiny, sick baby was born. She wasn't as tiny as they get of course, but for US she was tiny and not ready to be here. I was in labor for 25 hours because she didn't want to come yet; she wasn't ready.
Anyway, after she was born my health deteriorated very rapidly. Nobody believed me. I suffered a great deal. More than anybody knew.
I was diagnosed with Post Postpartum Depression, and then about a year after was diagnosed with severe Acid Reflux Disease & Hypothyroidism. I then broke my foot and walked on it for months before I finally got it checked out. That cost us. But I didn't want to be the weak one, ya know?
Then I got Mono. Then I got into a car accident and hurt my back and neck and broke my right hand. Then I got mono again. Then my thyroid spiraled out of control again.
The entire time I was gaining weight, we were falling further and further into debt.
We took out credit cards and school loans and personal loans at the credit unions to pay our BASIC NECESSITIES. We used them to pay for food, gasoline, insurance, medicine, co-payments, medical debts, phone, you name it. We were SUNK, and continued to sink.
When we moved to Orem we did do one stupid thing. Instead of paying down our stupid car that had been financially killing us for years we used our tax return to buy new furniture. We had finally caught up on most our debt, but school, and so felt like we could finally get something nice.
Well, that would prove to be our next biggest mistake.
I got sicker and sicker. If any of you could possibly comprehend what I've been going through then you'd have some empathy for what we went through, what I went through. It was very, very hard. Not to mention stress from relationships I cannot name here, either.
The medication I was taking for the Postpartum Depression and Anxiety I suffered from had two major side effects: serious drowsiness & insomnia. I didn't realize this.
Well, then I got more sick. I'd wake up in a paralyzed state, LITERALLY! I was exhausted beyond description. My mono flared back up, and I was in severe amounts of pain, weak, SICK.
I then was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea, Migraines (had them daily), and my Endometriosis began to spread and cause more pain and suffering.
I tried to keep a job. I had one for 6 months before I had to quit.
Now I've been diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis.
I have several diseases that do get debilitating. I don't even know if I've listed everything here.
But the point is, I can almost NOT have a job because of these illnesses I have. They cause MAJOR amounts of pain and suffering, sickness, weakness, fatigue. I cannot even begin to describe it!!
So these were adding to our debt.
Then Tyler lost his job.

Now we've sunk.

We have more than 2200 a month MINIMUM going out and just over 1300 coming in. That's impossible to live by.

So that's why we're where we're at.

P.S. If I lost weight I would NOT lose some of these disease contrary to popular belief. Stop blaming me for our circumstances. I've done my absolute BEST I possibly could do to help, believe me! So has Tyler.

THE END.

3 comments:

  1. I hope you got rid of Geiko, they are SOOOOO expensive. Mike has a guy that we have been totally happy with for our insurance. Hope the health issues get better, I know it is no fun not feeling well.

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  2. Hey Lisa, I had no idea the troubles you have been going through. I hope things get better. Let me know if you need help with your kids.

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  3. Life can just be so cruel sometimes. We have had difficult times, but nothing compared to yours. I hope that things begin to look up for you soon and that you can get some of your pain under control. It's hard enough being a mom without having to deal with all the other crap. I doubt that you even weigh enough for that to be an issue with your health, and most (all) of those health problems you listed don't even have anything to do with weight. I honestly need to lose 100 lbs and I just don't know how. I think of you often and hope things start getting better for you soon.

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