So what would you do if you were married to a hero?
Well, I don't know what you would do but I know what I would do.
My husband has this hero mentality. He's a true hero at heart. If there were such things as Super Heroes then he would certainly be one.
I noticed this quality in him when we first started to "hang-out" together before we got engaged or married. I was having an especially hard day and all my friends had left my apartment and I was left home alone crying in my room. I finally got over myself and decided to go outside for some fresh air when I opened the back/side door and there sat my future husband on the step waiting for me. I was totally take off-guard. He'd never seen me cry before first of all, but the fact that he'd stayed behind for me instead of running off with all our 20 or so friends really impressed me, and quite frankly, surprised the heck out of me. Nobody had ever done that for me before (besides my own mother lol). He stood up and turned around and looked me in the eyes, saw that I had been crying which I had attempted to hide unsuccessfully and took me in his arms and just held me. It was the best feeling I'd had in a very long time to know that he cared for me that much. That's when I knew he was "my type". I love the hero types!
After we'd been married not even a year we welcomed our first baby into our lives. Instead of doing what comes so naturally to many men and run off to work or to hang out with buddies he instead stayed home with me for an entire week, changing baby Lacie's diapers, making me food, cleaning the dishes and laundry, and holding me when my post-partum depression kicked in. He was, again, my hero.
About one year later or so we were walking in the parking lot towards the big ol' Walmart when we noticed an elderly woman in one of those motorized shopping carts struggle to get out of her cart and to her car. She had a basket full of groceries besides this and we had no idea how she planned on getting those into her car when she herself could not even walk. Without hesitation my dear husband rushed to her aid. He took her elbow in one hand and held onto her other hand, helping her into her car. Then she popped the trunk and he unloaded all of the groceries into her trunk, shut it, and waved her a goodbye. "I wish there were more young men like you!" she called after him. We did too.
He's done this exact type of things countless times since then. I've lost count, now. It seems that we see people needing help all the time and very rarely do we see anybody rushing, or even moseying over to help them. It's disappointing to say the least.
Being the hero-type that Tyler is, he wanted to serve our community so he tried for the Police Academy and the Sheriff's Department. He, unfortunately for one reason or another couldn't or didn't make it. But he didn't quit there. He was bound and determined to be a hero.
He decided he wanted to be a nurse or doctor or EMT so he took medical classes at a college, acing his way through them because of course they come naturally to him. He then took an EMT course and got certified.
He's always looking out for opportunities to help somebody. We've stopped many times when there's been an accident to help those involved and he's wished he's had a medical kit with him in the trunk.
Now, my dear hero, is going beyond what even I expected him to do. He's enlisted in the U.S. Army to be Active Duty. He wants to serve our country; fight for freedom and the constitution.
What better heroes are there out there than those that give up their very lives to fight for our freedoms and our families, our land, and our lives?
So, what would you do if you were married to a hero like I am?
Well, here's what I do.
I pray to my Heavenly Father every day, thanking him for sending me my hero to be my husband and the father of my children. I give him kisses and hugs, thanking him every day for what he does for us, and I love him with all my heart and do my very best every day to make him happy in return.
I mean, really, there's no way to repay a hero what he/she deserves after all that they do and sacrifice, is there?
I love being married to a hero! I can always count on being taken care of no matter what and I know my children are the luckiest kids around to have such a man in their lives.
Thank you, Tyler, for being my hero, and now the hero to millions!
This link I'm posting shows a video that needs to be watched. This fits us to a T.
What most people don't understand is why we're in such a financial crisis. It's because of our medical debt. Even when we did have health insurance, the deductibles were outrageous because of their high charges for medical work to be done.
We also have had to see many, many doctors which has cost us even more before we could find diagnosis for my EIGHT diseases.
Because of our current medical debt and financial situation I cannot even go see my doctor to be treated for my Hypothyroidism, Interstitial Cystitis, Endometriosis, Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome, Infertility (due to these problems), or to be further tested as my doctors have referred and recommended to me that I do (i.e. my heart, and other possible diseases).
We have credit cards that are over maxed out and personal loans that we took out BECAUSE OF OUR MEDICAL DEBT. And that's it. Not for extravagant lifestyles or playing or even for nice things. We've lost our car!! We cannot buy our own clothing, etc etc. I cannot write down the extent of the damage that medical debt has caused here on a public site but I can say that it's ENORMOUS.
Nobody has been able to help us. No consolidation companies or programs or attorneys. They've ALL told us that our ONLY OPTION is to file bankruptcy, which we cannot because we don't even have the funds to do that!
Because of the debt that we have with medical bills and the credit cards to pay for past medical bills and the loans, we get 3-12 calls A DAY with collectors and attorneys harassing and threatening us, even to say "we don't care that you don't have a job we have to be paid and we'll garnish your unemployment if we have to". Tyler has tried EVERYTHING, as have I, to plead with them, threaten them, promise them, beg them, ignore them, work with them, but to no avail. They never keep their side of the bargain, either.
It's completely unfair that I cannot even see my doctor and buy the medications that I NEEEEEED to take care of myself.
How on earth can I have a full time job when the pain I get sometimes is crippling? Of course it's more than I show. I'm not a ball-baby or a wimp. My pain tolerance is extremely high. Just because I don't cry all the time or lay on the couch with my arm over my fore-head sighing from the pain doesn't mean that it's not seriously there. I don't receive much or any sympathy at all from most people, and it's probably because they don't realize what I'm going through.
Pretend you have dull knives and a crappy hand blender and you take them to your insides on a regular basis. That's me almost ALL the time. Try that on for size and see how you like it. These pains wouldn't be so bad or even there at all if I could get the medications that I need and/or the treatment that I need (surgery, chiropractors, etc).
Anyway, please don't frown on us because we are doing poorly financially. It's NOT our fault, as much as many would like to believe. I've had an earful from "friends" (who I've recently dropped) that thought they knew so much better than us on how to do it. If it's one thing I cannot stand it's people who think they know best when they have no idea what they're talking about and are on a "high" because they're doing so well presently; they cannot comprehend what we're going through. They think they know what will help us.
RRIIIGGHHTTT. Yeah, Tyler and I are two really dumb pathetic morons that can't add 1+2. GRRRRRRRR. I HATE being treated like I'm stupid and pathetic. HATE IT.
Okay so here's the link I promised: http://utahcpr.org/
Now I am NOT writing this for sympathy or attention or a "woe is us" thing, but to bring some LIGHT to the subject. I believe that this must be addressed. And what's scary is that Obama recognizes IHC (Intermountain Healthcare) as one of the best in the United States and wants to model our future healthcare system after it. WHAT????? NO WAY!!!!!!!
so, enjoy the video and comment there or here as you like.
Wow! Tyler got enlisted today! It's official! He's now property of the U.S. Government. Holy cow. No longer a civie.
He's signed up as a Cook. Not his first choice, which would've been a nurse, but it's his second choice and he's happy with it. He's doing what any MAN would do and that's taking care of his own family and I am so proud of him!!!
He was glowing when he came home and whenever he glows that's when I know he's doing what's right.
We've really come a long way. We've been through a lot since we've been married (even a little before we got married, too) and I am proud of us. We have remained faithful no matter what's happened. Why blame the church and God for trials we're required to go through? We're only throwing away our own eternal salvation when we have "temper tantrums" and not go to church, not pray, not read our scriptures or pay our tithing, etc. Having these fits to try to prove something is only hurting US and our posterity.
Believe me, we have had plenty of "good" excuses to stop being faithful to God and his kingdom (i.e. His Church) but excuses do not fly with God and we know that.
Right now I'm feeling happy and good about this. Tyler said that when he swore in that a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. He felt excitement, pride for his country and what he's sacrificing for it, happiness and satisfaction. I'm also feeling anxiety because I'm not looking forward to having him gone from me and for SO LONG! It's going to be so hard not having my very best friend in the whole wide world around me! It's lonely not having him share a bed with me and not having someone I can go to for everything. It's going to be lonely not having someone by my side at church and family events. It's going to really suck not having dates or having him with me when we get together with our friends. It's going to be VERY HARD. And I know myself, I'm going to cry my eyeballs out and feel totally alone.
I know there are a few "select" people (always the same people) who do not believe that I will be able to do anything with Tyler being gone. These people don't believe that I can take care of myself let alone my children. Such horrible and demeaning things to think! Hello!! I'm 31 and have plenty of experience taking care of children and even living on my own. It's extremely offensive that these people are saying such negative things about me to my husband. What can he do? What can I do? I guess just let them be. They believe and think whatever they choose to make up in their own minds without any proof or evidence from me. Once someone doesn't accept you they probably never will. They've made up their minds. Heck, I could win Mother of the Year award or Wife of the Year award and they'd still believe the same way. But even if I was handicapped and wheel-chair bound and completely incapable of doing anything for myself or my children I'd still have my iron-clad testimony. But, to these people testimonies don't matter as they've proven to me over and over again. Eternal Life doesn't matter. Eternal Family doesn't matter. At least to these people. I have a very strong testimony, I know the Gospel and the doctrine, and I teach my children the right. That's what matters the absolute MOST. At the end of the day what matters the MOST is that my children are taught from the beginning how to have their own testimonies and that me and my family are DOING what we can to earn our eternal life. Yes, it has to be earned.
Anyway, PHEW! Enough of that! Besides those people that only want to see me fail in life, I am excited for what lies ahead of us!
I really feel that Tyler's and my Patriarchle Blessings are being followed and answered in this new life we have ahead of us. I know that this will strengthen both of us in ways that nothing else we could experience could do for us. I know that I'll be forced to be a stronger WOMAN and Tyler will be forced to be a stronger MAN. This is going to stretch us, mold us, try us, in more ways than we can even imagine right now but it will all be for GOOD.
It's one thing to do something scary and hard that will hurt us and another to do something brave and scary and hard that will cause pain (different than hurt). It will help us grow and change and progress in countless ways.
I am excited about the future now!
I get to start school again in January. Part-time I guess, but it's something. It'll help keep me busy while my best friend is torn from my side. I'm not doing school to seek after my own selfish desires, but to help me be a better person and to keep me from sinking into a deep depression.
Plus, the G.I. Bill will help me out with paying for it. I'm happy about that. It's a big stress-reliever knowing that it's there for us.
So, what's going to happen now you may be asking?
Tyler leaves for Basic Training to Fort Knox Virginia (I believe that's the State) for 10 weeks on March 22nd. Then I can go to his graduation from Basic Training. My parents and I will be saving for that so we can go together. I'm so excited!!!
Then after Basic he'll go straight to AIT which is advanced training for his MOS which is Food Operations Specialist (i.e. Cook). He'll be there for 9 weeks. His papers say a total of 21 weeks. Oh man that's so long to be without my MAN!!!!!
His AIT is going to be at Fort Lee, Kentucky (right State?). Then he'll come back home to me in Utah where he'll get the family and we'll be moved by the U.S. Army to another base in another State somewhere. No, we don't know where that will be yet. He won't get those orders until he's nearly done at AIT.
I'm really excited for that!! We'll get to move away! Yipeee!! Okay, I'm very sad about some of the family we'll be leaving behind and our super good friends! We both are really going to miss all of you who have been so supportive and compassionate towards both of us! You have been Angels to us, and I sincerely mean that!
Meantime, I'll be home alone and I'll want family and friends to surround me. If you think I don't want your help think again. Just offer!! I'm not going to say NO unless you're downright evil and horrible hahahaha just kidding!! I know that a few of you think I won't want your help or support and you're totally wrong!! I do want it! I probably won't ask, though. I am embarrassed to ask for help. Makes me feel weak and pathetic, and I do NOT like that some think I am already weak and pathetic so don't expect a phone call unless you're like my best friend or mom! lol
I love you all, no matter what you think of me, and you'll see that the Lord will take care of us!! He already has been taking care of us! And yes, it's been mostly through other people, but isn't that how it works? God works through others to help each of us.
Now we're going to go celebrate!!!!
Well Tyler would be enlisted right now in the U.S. Army but when he was filling out his paperwork while there at MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) they asked if he's had ANY Emergency Room visits. Well, he had a couple of ER visits. One I will mention here and it was his chest pain he was having while taking his EMT class at the Firestation. Well, they never officially diagnosed him with anything but he hasn't had any problems since, not really anyway. We think it's a strained muscle in his shoulder and it's a bad one. His sister's tried working on it in the past and has had to put her ELBOW into it and it will not relax! Stubborn little bugger!! lol So I told Tyler I will work on it up until he leaves for Basic Training. Anyway, unlike what some people seem to think, it is NOT my fault he was having chest pain. (I was actually blamed TO MY FACE by one person and implied by a few more that it was my fault he was having chest pain! Can you believe the nerve of some people? Seriously!). Anyway, so his MUSCLE spasm, NOT caused by his wife but by his lifetime of construction work, caused an issue that was very painful for him and he went to the ER for it because he was with EMT's and Paramedics who insisted he go for chest pain. I think they were using him as an example to the other students in the class that as EMT's you should NEVER take chest pain lightly, no matter what you think it may be. It's just too risky! So away they whisked him to the ER. I'm just praying that this one little thing doesn't prevent him from being able to enlist! How stupid would that be? Seriously! But he has a really good recruiter who's willing to "bust his butt" as he puts it to get Tyler in.
Tyler isn't enlisted yet, unfortunately, but he will be this week one of these days. Not sure exactly which day. He might have to go to the MEPS thing all over again which means leaving here at 3pm in the afternoon on Wed and not getting home until 3pm the next day. Wow just 24 hours and us 3 girls really missed him!! And he might have to do it all over again.
He passed everything else so well, though, so having him repeat it again just seems a little excessive, but oh well!
Everything that's happened has been leading us up to this point. This point of Tyler enlisting in the Army. Things have just happened SO quickly and so smoothly! They say when things fall into place like this that it's right!
I've also been learning some interesting things about the Spirit. The Spirit can come ONE TIME and tell you when something is right, correct and true and then it doesn't need to hang around reminding you of that constantly. You have to have faith in that answer you got and cling to the memory, doing what you know is right that it lead you to. That's why converts can have an amazing experience, or a definite one, when they first discover the truth of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and once that initial feeling wears off and life continues and trials come as they always do that it's easy to forget that feeling and a little bit at a time we let things go that help remind us of that until it becomes too faint and eventually they lose it altogether and leave the church again. This happens to anybody actually, not just converts. It can happen to any member of the church.
Anyway, so when you receive that answer you should probably write down how you felt about it. After you get that answer COUNT on it that Satan/the Adversary is going to indefinitely try to discourage you from following through with what you know is right. He's going to depress you, scare you, intimidate you, give you doubts and discouragement and he will use any means necessary to derail you. He will use friends and family even! Of course these caring people do not realize they may be assisting in this negative way at all because they don't mean harm, but it is a fact that people are used quite regularly to discourage people from choosing the right. Even if they mean well.
If something is indefinitely correct or good or true the Adversary will try to stop you. If it was NOT right he will NOT have to try to stop you so you won't feel these negative feelings. He'll leave you alone! So sometimes this can cause great confusion.
For example, now this might seem like an absurd example, but it's an obvious one I can use, say you have a choice to take illegal drugs or not to take them. You decide that it's the right thing to do to take them. The Adversary is NOT going to give you feelings of doubt that you chose the right thing. He's not going to make you feel confusion, frustration, discouragement, depression or anxiety that choosing to take the drugs is the right thing or not. He will leave you alone! He knows he "has you" and will thus let you go ahead with your obviously WRONG AND BAD decision. BUT, when you have the Spirit of God with you, or the Light of Christ, or the Gift of the Holy Ghost, you will have a SURE KNOWLEDGE that it is wrong. It won't be confusing. It will be a FOR SURE STOPPING knowledge that it is wrong. It will be strong enough that you cannot ignore it inwardly. Outwardly you can pretend you didn't feel it and go ahead with your bad choice, and when you do this enough times eventually you stop feeling this absolute knowledge that something is wrong. You've actually desensitized yourself to the point of not feeling when this knowledge of what is right and wrong is no longer felt or recognized.
But, you can also choose to follow that knowledge and turn around and walk away without another thought about it!! It's so much easier to just follow that knowledge.
Now, say if you pray about it and feel that it's NOT right to take the illegal drugs, the Adversary will be aware of your decision. Do you think he'll leave you alone? Well, probably not unless he knows for sure that he has no chance of swaying you. He will make you doubt your decision, he'll plummet you with guilt and peer pressure, anxiety, discouragement. He'll annoy you so much that you begin to doubt your decision! That's when people cave. They give in to those feelings and they don't follow through with that initial answer they received of what was the correct choice.
I have to give this example, because I feel I must. I was hoping I wouldn't have to, but here it is anyway!
When Tyler and I were first getting to know each other I was still interested in another man I wanted to marry. I felt God approved of my decision to marry this other man, but he also told me that it was up to BOTH OF US. And this other man did not choose me. It hurt. But that's okay now. So I meet Tyler and start to get to know him. I feel something about him that different than with any other man I'd ever dated. I prayed about the man I was to marry and I had a dream OF TYLER! I dreamed of him before I really knew him. I was friends with his younger brother, Joe, and I thought Joe was such an awesome guy that I was always saying "Gosh if Joe just had an older brother!". And lo and behold he did!! I was never interested in Joe in "that way" hahaha thank goodness cuz he's my brother in law now!! I loved the qualities Joe had and since there was no attraction there at all for either of us I just was hoping there'd be another guy out there that I would be attracted to that would be like Joe in many ways. Well, then I met Tyler. I saw him on a Sunday sitting next to Joe at church after the night of my dream and I KNEW I'd found him. Only then I didn't know he was Joe's brother. It wasn't until I went to his house and saw their pictures on the wall that I knew they were brothers without a doubt. They just do not look like each other at all! Joe is a whitey with very blond hair and blue eyes. Tyler is a very stocky dark man with black hair and brownish-gold eyes. So I was thrilled when I found out they were brothers. When I finally got over that old boyfriend of mine the Spirit told me Tyler was the right one, or at least Heavenly Father approved of my choice as did my future children (he was the FIRST one that my future children approved of, actually, and I felt this very, very strongly). I prayed about him and I felt it was RIGHT. Just being with him and around him it was confirmed over and over again.
When the decision to get married was made that's when HELL literally was dragged in to stop us! It was INCREDIBLY HARD!!!!!
We did NOT have support. We actually had friends and family who fought against our union and would say and do anything to try to discourage us from being married. I cannot believe the extremes to which the Adversary went through to try to prevent this special union of ours. There were waves of doubt, discouragement, anxiety and sickness that hit both of us at random times and places, and almost ALWAYS when we were around specific people who did not approve it was VERY strong. It was incredibly difficult!!!! It was one of the most difficult decision either of us have ever had to make!
But we both knew it was correct!
On our wedding day I got up that morning and prayed again, telling the Lord that I was putting my entire faith and life into his hands in trusting that this was the correct decision and to bless me with peace and strength. Well, it washed over me and lasted the entire day of our wedding! The Adversary gave up when he knew I was not turning back and there was nothing he could do to ME to break it up.
Tyler also prayed and said "Stop me Lord if this is not right, but I feel it is" and even though he was literally shaking in his shoes of nervousness he felt it was right! After we were married we felt GOOD. We felt calm and peace and happiness and promise.
It has been difficult, being married (not to each other, just life has) but it has made us both grow in HUGE ways. We've been strengthened so much! And we've grown closer together than ever before! Even though there are some that still do not respect our Eternal Marriage and would throw parties to see this Eternal family torn apart, we are happy together, feel fulfilled, and have never, ever, ever felt like anything was missing. We feel complete and whole together.
My point here is that when something is RIGHT the Adversary will work to prevent it, using ANY means he finds necessary, even family and friends, to try to prevent the right thing from happening!!! And when it is wrong he leaves you alone! You get a distinct KNOWLEDGE that it is wrong and either you forget it or you can easily turn away from it once you make your choice and it's easy to let it go and forget about it.
You can tell when something's not right for you. Like if you're looking at a house to buy you KNOW when you walk into the right place! Or just a place to rent. As soon as you drive up or walk through that door you know if it's a yes or a no. That is when it's one of those DEFINITE things. There are cases where the choices we have don't matter as much and it's not necessary to feel a YES or a NO. But you know it when you feel either of these! It's only after the initial YES that you can receive discouraging thoughts and feelings and emotions that can drive you away from what you know is right.
Wow I just realized I really got into a tangent there!! hahaha sorry about that!! I guess I really felt impressed to share this tonight.
So, back to what's going on with Tyler and I!! haha.
We are being delayed in enlistment and also in where we will be living. We aren't sure if we'll be staying here or moving to government housing. I just don't want to have to start over in another ward and then in a few short months have Tyler GONE. Not only with the girls have their daddy GONE 24/7 for MONTHS (which will be EXTREMELY traumatic to them) but then they'll have to get used to new neighbors, new house, new ward, and even a new school!!!!! AAAAAAHHH!!!! I really hope we don't have to move there! Now, it's not a bad place, and it actually has THREE bedrooms instead of two like we have now, and it's all one level (thank you from my poor bad knees!) but yeah. It's government housing which means strict rules and also the price of the rent is determined from the gross income of the house. That can be bad and too expensive if Tyler is making too much. Being in the military it will be too much, especially if I have any hope of ever getting out of debt again! Thank goodness the military has sooooo many wonderful benefits! That will literally SAVE US.
So we are meeting with our bishop, HOPEFULLY, tomorrow and counseling with him about our options and see what our choices will end up being after that.
I am just really scared of being ALL ALONE after Tyler is gone. I hope that family will get closer to me and the girls, even if they'd rather not, especially for the girls and since I'll be so lonely being without my best friend in the entire world!!!
So, pray that things will continue to fall into place for us!! We need prayers for peace, comfort and guidance!!
I've been thinking about this lately and I just feel like I need to write down what little impressions/thoughts I've received about this topic.
You know when a mother loves her children when she's willing to do anything for them to keep them safe and cared for. The more she's willing to do the more she must care, because it requires sacrifice and selflessness to do so. Even if it means that they have to go through a hard life to obtain growth, wisdom, strength and development of character.
Then there are mothers out there that don't care so much for their children and we see what happens to those kids. The list is endless and it is tragic.
Besides the mothers that don't do much or anything at all for their children there is the other extreme as well. It's called smothering or enabling.
You can tell these moms apart from others because they're overprotective. I mean to the extreme.
If their child wishes to do something that will take them "out of the box" or has any amount of risk or "hardness" attached to it the mom will do whatever it takes to keep them from doing it, even if it means discouraging them or even demeaning or belittling them, causing great feelings of doubt, depression, and a bad self-image. They begin to think that they can't "do it", whatever the "it" may be.
Mom's can be overbearing and smothering without meaning to. They can over-do their mothering, if that makes sense.
They can keep their children back, keep them from progressing, growing, learning, exploring and figuring out who they really are.
I don't mean that mothers who teach their children a certain religion or ideal are smothering. Not at all. They are educating their children when they do this. The more education you have the more power you have over your choices and free agency. What I am saying is that when a mother tries to keep education from their children and keep them from hardship in any way they are hindering them. They are hurting them, not helping them.
Of course when a child is very young they must have this type of attention from their mother to keep them from causing serious harm to themselves or others, but it's got to slow down and eventually stop. Sure a mom can give her "opinion" or "counsel" to their child, but it needs to stop there.
For example, if your grown child wants to go to a certain college you don't approve of as a mother you can say "I don't like such-and-such college because _____" and leave it at that. If they want to know more they can ask. But telling them "I don't want you to go there because I don't think it's right for you, I think it's a bad idea, and I don't think you can do it" or "that's too hard for you" etc., that's discouraging, among other things.
There's a time when you have to allow your child to grow up. A time when you have to cut the apron strings, so to speak. A time when you need to let them govern themselves and trust they'll make the wisest of choices.
I know there are certain times when a mother's advice is needed, ESPECIALLY when their child is making very bad choices (i.e. drugs, alcoholism, adultery, and other serious sins/choices). Of course they need to know what is right and what is wrong. Saying "I don't think that taking drugs is a good idea because of this and this" is a great way to help a wayward child. It's better than to just ignore the problem as if it weren't there and hope it'll go away. But when it's a choice that isn't spiritually killing them and that is hard on them, let them go! Let them do it and learn for themselves.
(Okay I'm totally babbling. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense here cuz it's almost 2:am).
I was just thinking about how a mother, when good intentions are her desire, she can actually start smothering instead, causing more harm than good and then an example popped into my head I'm sure you've all heard before.
A mother can teach and train their children, but they cannot live their lives for their children, they cannot shelter them from a hard life and they cannot always be there when bad things come along. They have to trust that their children will be able to handle it on their own and also realizing that their children will probably come out stronger in the end because of the hard things that come along.
Think about the chick in the egg. The chick must struggle it's way out ALL BY ITSELF or it will die. If the mother was to worry about the chick going through something too hard and help that chick out of it's egg it would kill it in doing so. The chick will not have the necessary muscles built up by breaking through the egg shell in order to survive. The mother must let the chick struggle and work hard on it's own.
Trying to protect your children from a hard life is causing them more pain and suffering than anything else. Life is hard. That's the way it's supposed to be.
It helps us grow and progress. We learn wisdom. We learn long-suffering and patience. We learn how to rely on God and on the wisdom of others who have gone on before us. We also learn a great deal about ourselves in the process.
Just because you're afraid your child is going to have a tough marriage doesn't mean you should try to stop it. That's going over the line.
Just because you think college will be too hard on your child doesn't mean you should discourage them from attending. Think of the damage that will cause! They won't be educated, they won't have a good career. They won't be smarter. They won't have as much confidence. They won't grow.
That's just one example.
There are many things that we must go through in life and some things are different for one person than for another and it may be through specific hard things that you can learn important lessons in life that you can learn in no other way.
Like, going on an LDS mission. It is very difficult on many levels. It can even be scary. But not going on one because you're too afraid for the pain and hard work and being away from family are very bad reasons not to do it. There are missionaries that die every year serving their missions. Does that mean we all should not go on one? NO way!! I know that me serving my mission was the best decision I ever made and that the lessons I learned on my mission could not have been learned in any other way. My mom was sad to see me go. She even feared for me. But did she try to stop me? Did she discourage me, scare me, demean me, give me doubts? HECK NO!! She was proud of me! She was proud that I was willing to put my life in God's hands, make major sacrifices, and trust that I will do well and learn from it. Was it hard? Oh yes it was very hard!! Was it worth it? Of course it was worth it and more!! I cannot place a price on that experience!
I know that mothers can get really worried and over-protective of their children. I know this because I'm a mother myself. But if I was to follow my girls around and faced all their problems for them and discouraged them from doing something that was "scary" or "hard" then I would be hindering their growth, making forever babies out of them. I would keep them from reaching their potential and from discovering their true selves and seeing what they are capable of.
Let your children live their lives, hard or harder or hardest as they may be! You will see them grow and learn in ways you could not have imagined! And you will be proud of them and amazed at their abilities and wisdom that they gain from their experiences. Just teach them right while they're young and they'll make more wise choices as they grow and one day they will thank you for it.
That's a promise!
After all, isn't that how God does it? He allows us all to struggle through our trials and hardships. The more the better, in all reality. It helps us grow in countless ways that nothing else could have done for us. Forcing us to be or live a certain way does the opposite. It softens and weakens us, eventually killing us. Of course God teaches us and gives us everything necessary to help us have the most successful life possible. God must know what he's doing so we should take a lesson from that and follow it ourselves in order to be successful in life. It is the only way we can have true peace, happiness and joy. We have to know the bitter from the sweet, the easy from the hard, the sorrow from the joy, or we will never appreciate it, never understand it, never know it or become who we can become, and without those hard experiences in life we will never be truly happy.
(this goes for wives, too, who choose to enable their husbands and take their "jobs" away from them!)
Well I might as well update y'all and stop putting it off, right?
Things have been changing a little bit at a time around here and I really hope they continue to change for the good for us.
Tyler passed his EMT and is not officially certified as an Emergency Medical Technician in the State of Utah. RAD!!!!! SO exciting!!! He did so well and I totally knew he would!
And,
he's been very seriously considering and pursuing the Military, specifically the United States Army Active Duty! He's thinking about being a Combat Medic or something else in the medical field. I don't want him to do a job that will put his life in danger, and being a Combat Medic would do just that. But there are so many other medical jobs in the military I'm sure he'll consider a much safer route.
Tyler and I strictly believe that nobody should make such huge decisions in their life without first consulting the Expert. Who might that be? God, duh ;). He knows all, knows what's best, loves us and will never lead us astray, and we really have faith in Him and whatever he has planned for us.
So why stick our noses up at his commandments (or as more popularly called "suggestions") when he's not going to lead us into a path that brings sorrow and pain and regret? It's laughable, really. Only he knows what's best for us and he's made is incredibly easy to figure it out. i.e. follow his commandments, ALL OF THEM, repent when you mess up and YOU WILL MESS UP, and when in doubt ask Him, which is what we're doing right now.
Tyler and I started a fast last night about this decision. We know it's a HUGE one and will determine in a huge way the course in where our lives will lead us.
So far we BOTH feel good about it! Neither of us have felt that it's wrong. We're excited, we're happy, we're hopeful. Sure we're scared. Who wouldn't be??? It's a HUGE deal! But if it's right then that's what we're going to do, just like when we got married.
A lot of people that should have been supporting us when we got married were fighting us tooth and nail, especially against Tyler, and it only made it harder on our relationships with these people to not have their support, but we both knew it was right to get married so we did it anyway, having faith in God that he knew what he was doing. Now we're going through it again. Tyler is going through some adversity and a bit of negative feedback from the very people that should be giving him full support, but hey what can you do? Cry about it? Okay sure we can, but we will not because what matters MOST is TYLER AND LISA. Nobody else. Okay, TYLER AND LISA AND GOD. hee hee. And our family. Just us. Period. That's it. End of story. lol j/k.
Anyway, if it's not right he will not pursue it, hence the reason for the fast. We want to know for sure if it's the right course to take. I mean gosh, Tyler's putting his life literally on the line here!!! And, he'll be leaving me a single mother for many months and quite possibly YEARS as well!!!
The Army recruiter that we both met with a week ago spoke to me very frankly and directly and said that it's the WIFE that's giving the sacrifice in every way. It's HER that will suffer, HER that will be lonely, HER that gives up, HER that has the hard time. The guy gets to play Army and even though he might have a hard time he will not hate it. He might have one bad day out of thousands, but besides that he's playing Army like he always wanted to, gets to shoot guns, jump out of airplanes, save lives, play in the dirt, get strong and muscly, and do just about anything else he wants to, away from his family. He won't have to change diapers, help clean the house, take out the trash, babysit the kids, or ANYTHING.
He really laid it on thick to me. He said that I am going to be miserable most of the time and feel very lonely. He said the only thing that will keep me sane is my family's support and making friends with the other military wives.
SIGH!!!!!!!
I HIGHLY DOUBT I'll get any support from _________. They hate my guts. They hate how outspoken I am. Boo on them. They're missing out I say! lol
Okay, so those are two cool things going on with us right now.
I also reapplied to go back to school at UVU. I'm still not sure what I want to do there. I REALLY want to do Interior Design and get a Real Estate License, but I don't have the money out of pocket to do either and Utah sucks for Interior Design. Everybody here has such a bland taste (sorry!!! But it's true! Nobody thinks outside the box where design is nor will they pay for good design the cheapos!!).
Wow am I being blunt or what?
So I was thinking of Forensics or being a Police Officer. Any other ideas or suggestions? I can't do business or accounting. I'd go literally nuts with boredom!! lol
If the Army thing isn't right for Tyler then he'll be going back to UVU come January to do his pre-nursing classes. He's already doing so well! I'm really proud of him! He's such a strong man and he knows what he wants and he stands by it and I love that.
On the down side. The girls have been getting sick A LOT. My mom says it's cuz they have low immune systems and I tend to agree with her. Especially Sophie. Ideas on what to do to help them?? No, we are NOT getting any stupid flu shots so don't even go there (hahaha, sorry!) but I'll be open to any other suggestions at all!!
Right now we think Sophie has bronchitis. You should hear her cough! Poor girl coughs all day and all night long and it won't go away! Their fevers won't go away either. I'm worried about them. Poor little things!
We've missed SOOOO much church for being sick literally every single weekend!!! Okay there have been a weekend here and there that they've not been sick, but that's been rare. It's really discouraging because I really miss church and the HUGE PEACE I feel there.
I DO NOT go for the people. Who cares what they may or may not think about us? I go because I know it's the Lord's church and you can feel his spirit there and it's so refreshing. It's like filling up your battery. I love it!
Oh and I just wanted to mention a few things I'm grateful for.
1. My friends.
I have some REALLY REALLY REALLY good friends. You guys are amazing and so supportive and so good! You are true friends and I love you guys so much! No matter where we go in life I know you'll always be there for me and I'll ALWAYS be there for you! If there's one thing that I value more than I can express it's a true friendship. I am so loyal.
Anyway, my friends have been a HUGE support for us. I have really and truly needed every one of you. Sure, there have been a few that have misunderstood me/used me and hurt me and are slowly disappearing, but it's their loss, right? I truly believe so. One day, and even now, I believe that those who choose to be our friends God blesses. I really believe this. I feel it's true. So thank you so much for being there!!
2. My family.
We've had a bumpy road with some family but the family that is TRUE family has stood by our sides no matter what!!! I may have a big mouth on me and can easily offend others and those who are TRUE FAMILY know this and forgive me for this. They know that I do not mean to offend; they know I have a tender and loving heart, so they forgive. I consider a lot of my family some of my best friends and I absolutely love that. There is no better relationship you can have in this life than to be best friends with a family member. Tyler is my best friend in the whole wide world and he's also my husband i.e. a family member. I am really grateful for a few really good family members and I love you guys so much! Thank you for everything!!!
3. My girls & husband (my FAMILY family).
My girls are such bright lights in my life. I was told that I only had 30% chance of ever having a child. I was told that I would miscarry most of my babies and if any of them ever made it to birth and survived it would be a miracle. Well I have two amazing miracles!!!!
I know that I was HARSHLY and wrongfully judged when I was pregnant with both of them and had to quit working, but if I had not quit working THEY WOULD HAVE DIED. My body has an incredibly difficult time being pregnant. I was SO blessed to even get pregnant with my little girls. I know for SURE they are supposed to be here and they're supposed to be mine and Tyler's children. I feel a special connection with my two girls. And I am very very grateful I have two girls. To me they are perfect. And they're mine. And I am very lucky to have them!
And my husband. He has been through SO much. I feel like his life as been unfair for the most part but he's been so positive and even more-so he's been persevering. He has overcome some of the hardest obstacles out there and come out on top! He is a very hard worker, dedicated, and he follows what he knows to be right. Sure he's not perfect, but WHO IS in this life? What matter is that he's made it so far and has really grown into a very strong and stable man who I am so proud of and so in love with!!!!
He has faced so much adversity in his life and always chooses the right in the end. I also know that if I had taken over his job as the "bread winner" that he would not be as far as he is right now. There's just something in it for a man when he can truly be a MAN and be allowed to be the MAN and make the money like he wants to and seeks to further his education. Tyler has grown more and more into a MAN every day and it's been AMAZING to watch!!! He's really learning self-respect and self-confidence this way.
It actually has been a blessing for Tyler to have a wife with many health problems. I have not been able to go further my education and get a career that I KNOW I would have if I had been able to and if I'd done this then Tyler would not have had to "step up". I hope I'm making sense without coming across as offensive at all. But it's something that we both have realized, and I'm really so VERY grateful for it.
4. The Gospel of Jesus Christ.
This has literally SAVED ME. Saved my life, saved my happiness, saved everything. Because I believe in my religion I am strong. Not just any religion, but in the specific religion I belong to. Believe me when I say that I know this is God's one and true religion and that there is ONLY ONE WAY back to Him and Eternal Life. I'm getting tired of hearing from people that there are many ways and that every person has their own way to get to God and Heaven and that God will accept everybody into Heaven, blah blah blah. People who believe this way DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Anyway, I am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL for my testimony. I sincerely and thoroughly and very thoughtfully believe in This church with ALL of my heart and mind and feel indebted to God every day for being allowed to be a member of His kingdom and His church and to partake of his Eternal blessings every single day of my life. I am so happy and satisfied with where things are with my religious part of life and what and how I believe. I have no doubts; there is nothing that I can think of that could ever deter me from this faith that I have. I AM NOT PERFECT, and I can falter, and I do make LOTS of mistakes every day, but what does matter is that I have a true testimony and I keep that by working at it every day, and that I repent of my MANY "transgressions" and errors.
Okay those are just 4 things I am very grateful for at this time. They aren't in the order of what's most important to me at all, just so ya know.
Let's just say that life has been hard and rough etc etc etc., but we're not giving up. Sure, we have enemies. Sure, we have problems. Sure, we have trials. Who doesn't????
What matters is how we choose to be at the end of the day. How we choose to react. How we choose to live.
And we're choosing to live the way God has asked us to, no matter how much rebuttal we can get, because we know that he wants what is the absolute BEST for us and wants our happiness and joy to be full because he loves us that much, and more.
