Tyler's school told him from the beginning that he could get his Certificates he qualifies for as he goes. He hasn't received them. So he called the Certificate place and they said he couldn't have them until he got his Diploma (Bachelor's Degree). But how do CNA's get theirs, and Phlebotomists, and EKG/ECG Techs before they graduate? So Tyler was furious. He called his school and left a message with the Dean there. He didn't hear back, so today we both went in to talk to him. He called the certification place and he didn't tell us exactly what they told him but he told them (we were listening while he called them right in front of us) that other students have received theirs before graduation. Anyway, he said meantime that Tyler can print off proof that he's taken the tests and earned the Certificates and then he and another Professor who's also a doctor can write referral letters to go with this proof to use to get a job. So we printed off a couple of copies. We'll have to get more later and have to get the referral letters later since we ran out of time while we were there.
Okay, now with the Military. An Air Force recruiter told Tyler he's absolutely disqualified from being in the Military for something that happened when he was 15 or 16 yrs old. Not sure how much I can dare write down here so I won't mention what it was here. Anyway, it was soooo disheartening for Tyler, and even for me! Tyler cannot find a good job. We HAVE TO HAVE benefits; my life depends on them quite literally. I cannot find a job at all. Nothing. More and more places are requiring Associates or at least Bachelor's Degrees. It's insane! Even to work at a fast food joint or cleaning. They also like all this experience, like 2 years here, 5 years there, etc. But I'm still applying hoping that someone will like me enough to hire me.
So anyway, back to the Military thing. We're still not 100% sure Tyler can qualify for the military so we went to the Utah National Guard office at the Mall and met with a recruiter there today. He gave Tyler the run-down and an application. Even though Tyler's considered over-weight, because he's so thick in the shoulders and neck he actually just fits inside of their height-to-weight ratio! Hee hee I have a very meaty man and I love it!! :) (just had to say it lol).
But at any rate he's still going to go on a healthy diet and start to work on his sit-ups. He can pump out those push-ups so there's no issue there, it's the running and sit-ups he struggles with a bit. But he bulks up and gets in shape pretty quickly so I know he can do it. I plan on doing it right along with him, too.
He'll go in the Special Forces into the Medical Segeant. That's the equivalant of a Physician's Assistant, which is what his little brother, Joe, is. Pretty narly, eh? And in the SPECIAL FORCES!! :) So he'll get done in 4-6 years serving his time in the military, either abroad or in the good ol' US of A and then finish civilian PA school in a few short months and be done. :) Then he was thinking of doing medical school actually to be a full-blown MD. Awesome, eh?
I really hope it works out for him!!
He'll be gone for 10 weeks of Basic Training then go onto his special training as a PA in North Caroline for 100 weeks. Me and the girls would go with him for that. Our medical would 100% be covered for this entire time, plus some pay, housing and some food. AWESOME!!
Then who knows where he'd go next. But he has to have a Secret clearance. That's a toughy. I really, really hope it works out for him! He's STOKED and I'm excited for him, too! It'll be SOOOOOO hard having him gone for so long but others have done it, I'm sure I'll find some support somewhere and I'm sure plenty of other mothers/wives who'll understand and sympathize with me (hee hee).
Okay, and a clarifying on the my last blog.
I know I sounded mad. I didn't realize how mad I sounded until I re-read it AFTER I posted it! lol. I am mad about where we're at. I know we're where we're at because of US and nobody else. BUT. Just so ya know. We don't spend our money like a couple of idiots. I know I already said that but let me clarify. We bought a couch, TV, table & chairs and washer & dryer WITH CASH YEARS AGO. When we weren't in debt except with the car! (and a bit of medical). WE SOLD ALL OF THAT!!!!!!!
We got almost dollar-for-dollar back selling our stuff. I know people frowned on what we did, but we thoroughly enjoyed it while it lasted and that's done and gone in the past. We didn't go buy things when we didn't have money. That's a fact!! We don't go on vacations or spend our money frivolously.
We also HAVE to have internet for Tyler's school. He's required to log-on to his school site every single day and he has homework on there and everything. It's a half-online school. We don't HAVE to have our cell phones, though. They're nice but definitely a luxury we can live without. We plan on just not paying for them because we cannot cancel them (400 bucks!!!) and we cannot pay them. We'll just have to get a land-line and maybe a pre-paid cell phone for Tyler to take with him to work and such. Pretty basic. We'll see how it works out, though.
We've cut our budget down to the bare necessities, believe it or not. I seriously feel like we're always having to explain ourselves ya know? People assume things all the time and they're wrong. Mostly always totally wrong.
We don't buy clothes, we don't vacation, we don't go out to eat unless we have gift certificates, we don't go to movies without certificates unless it's the dollar theater, we don't buy brand-name anything, we don't buy ANYTHING.
Our credit cards and loans were to cover the following: rent, car payments, insurance, food, medical, gasoline, phone. The BASICS. Nothing else!!! So please don't get the idea that we're big spenders that put ourselves into this debt.
Blame it on my falling apart body.
Just a FYI. The washer and dryer we got on sale and they were front load and they saved us OVER 100 DOLLARS A MONTH ON UTILITIES. Beat that!!! Since we sold them and inherited my grandmother's huge, old clunker machines our utilities are over 100 a month just for electrical alone IN THE SUMMER!!! Dead serious it's the washer and dryer. We don't run things around the clock.
We're really not stupid. We've just had a lot of trials befall us and I believe that we've been required to go through these things to learn lots of lessons for ourselves and probably to help others, too.
Okay, anyway, now we'll see where this military thing goes to!! If it works out he'll be in Basic Training by JANUARY 2010!!!!!!! And enlisted in a week or two!!! Can you believe it??? WOWSERS!!!
So those of you who know us pretty well know that we've always struggled financially. We've been in debt for years and I know that most have assumed it's been because we spend like a couple of idiots.
Well, I'm going to clear a few things up, but mostly I'm going to address the auto industry.
When Tyler and I first got married I had a job and so did Tyler. We both had okay jobs. Mine was the better of the two. I had benefits and salary and Tyler worked as a grunt doing Heating & Air Conditioning for a business that was slowly going out of business.
Within a month, give or take a few days, I got pregnant unexpectedly. I was on birth control and we both wanted to be more financially stable before having children, but God and Lacie both had different plans. She came before we were ready.
I got sick while pregnant with her and almost suffered a miscarriage! My Dr. told me to QUIT my job and get on bed rest or lose my baby. So I quit. I was not sacrificing my own child for stupid money.
I have a bad back, have had a bad back for some time, and Tyler's back wasn't perfect either, so we opted to get a four-door car. We had a two-door, my own I brought into the marriage, and it was just too much pulling the seat forward and bending over carrying heavy things. We learned with a move that it was a very painful thing to endure and figured that with a baby in a car seat it would be even worse.
So with our zero-interest car that we owed a mere 10,000.00 on it and the payments were manageable. We went to Larry H. Miller Used Car Sales in Sandy, Utah, and brought our nice car with us (well, sorda nice. It had a dent in one door and the tranny had died on us TWICE already & been replaced with obviously not a new one each time) and asked what they had that we could do a trade for.
We had 1,000.00 bucks with us for a down payment.
Now this is where we got royally screwed. Totally taken advantage of. We were naive, foolish, young, trusting. We traded in our car and gave them the 1,000.00 bucks (CRY CRY!!!!) for a car worth only about 9,000.00 or 10,000.00 at best. They told us it was worth a lot more than that but it was a brand new car so wasn't in the books yet. It was a Chevy Cavalier, 4-door, automatic, gold, 5,000 miles on it. (We suspect it had been a rental previously).
They took our car that was a midnight blue with a sunroof and in perfect condition minus the smell dent in the door (very easily fixed they assured us) and told us they'd do the trade for about 5,000.00. HALF of what we owed on it. So that was 6,000.00 that was supposed to be taken out of the new car that they said was worth 20,000.00. That's a load of BULL CRAP!!! That car was NOT worth half that much! So we paid them 21,000.00 dollars and they got a FREE car and 1,000.00 in cash!!!
So we got this new crappy, ugly little car (four-doors) for 21,000.00, gave them a nice car for free, and had a payment of 330.00 a month and insurance that was around 500.00 a month (due to bad driving & paying full liability, and Geico is expensive), and these two bills were to be what has sunk us to this day.
We had no idea how awfully we were screwed. We had no idea what pains and trials this would bring us, what sorrows and hardships and debt. It caused us so much pain!!! To this day we are paying for this car.
This car kept us from getting a house of our own when Tyler finally got a good job working out at Tooele Army Depot (he was forced to quit because of nepotism, but for even stupider and more selfish reasons I cannot write here).
We struggled for a while and would NOT have survived had the Church not stepped in and helped us until Tyler got another good job, a year or so later, working for Gunther's Comfort Air in American Fork.
Meantime I got pregnant again and got really sick in this pregnancy.
We did NOT believe in Mother being away from tiny little babies, making day care raise them, while Mother went out to seek her own selfish pursuits in life (i.e. school, career). So I stayed home with the chicklets.
I got very sick and had to have surgery WHILE pregnant with Sophie, the 2nd baby. I was induced early and a tiny, sick baby was born. She wasn't as tiny as they get of course, but for US she was tiny and not ready to be here. I was in labor for 25 hours because she didn't want to come yet; she wasn't ready.
Anyway, after she was born my health deteriorated very rapidly. Nobody believed me. I suffered a great deal. More than anybody knew.
I was diagnosed with Post Postpartum Depression, and then about a year after was diagnosed with severe Acid Reflux Disease & Hypothyroidism. I then broke my foot and walked on it for months before I finally got it checked out. That cost us. But I didn't want to be the weak one, ya know?
Then I got Mono. Then I got into a car accident and hurt my back and neck and broke my right hand. Then I got mono again. Then my thyroid spiraled out of control again.
The entire time I was gaining weight, we were falling further and further into debt.
We took out credit cards and school loans and personal loans at the credit unions to pay our BASIC NECESSITIES. We used them to pay for food, gasoline, insurance, medicine, co-payments, medical debts, phone, you name it. We were SUNK, and continued to sink.
When we moved to Orem we did do one stupid thing. Instead of paying down our stupid car that had been financially killing us for years we used our tax return to buy new furniture. We had finally caught up on most our debt, but school, and so felt like we could finally get something nice.
Well, that would prove to be our next biggest mistake.
I got sicker and sicker. If any of you could possibly comprehend what I've been going through then you'd have some empathy for what we went through, what I went through. It was very, very hard. Not to mention stress from relationships I cannot name here, either.
The medication I was taking for the Postpartum Depression and Anxiety I suffered from had two major side effects: serious drowsiness & insomnia. I didn't realize this.
Well, then I got more sick. I'd wake up in a paralyzed state, LITERALLY! I was exhausted beyond description. My mono flared back up, and I was in severe amounts of pain, weak, SICK.
I then was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea, Migraines (had them daily), and my Endometriosis began to spread and cause more pain and suffering.
I tried to keep a job. I had one for 6 months before I had to quit.
Now I've been diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis.
I have several diseases that do get debilitating. I don't even know if I've listed everything here.
But the point is, I can almost NOT have a job because of these illnesses I have. They cause MAJOR amounts of pain and suffering, sickness, weakness, fatigue. I cannot even begin to describe it!!
So these were adding to our debt.
Then Tyler lost his job.
Now we've sunk.
We have more than 2200 a month MINIMUM going out and just over 1300 coming in. That's impossible to live by.
So that's why we're where we're at.
P.S. If I lost weight I would NOT lose some of these disease contrary to popular belief. Stop blaming me for our circumstances. I've done my absolute BEST I possibly could do to help, believe me! So has Tyler.
THE END.
I went to my Euro-Gyn today for the 3rd time. The last time I went he put a camera in my bladder (not recommended as past-time entertainment).
Today he told me I have Interstitial Cystitis. It's a non-curable disease of the bladder.
I also have Endometriosis in the bladder, as presumed.
So no wonder for all the pain!!
Now I have 3 more meds to add to my daily routine of medications. Not sure if I can afford them so it just may have to sit on the back burner along with my Acid Reflux meds. I'm pretty darn sure I'm getting an ulcer because of the untreated Reflux. The pain is getting more intense than I care to admit.
The bladder disease I have is incurable and will need to be operated on in the future. He told me they don't know what causes it or if it's inherent but that those who have Hypothyroidism and Endometriosis tend to get it, but not always, they're just linked somehow and they don't know how.
Pretty much my bladder can't hold as much as a normal persons, I'm more inclined to frequent infections and I can't go see my reg doc for those, I have to be tested via catheter YIPEEEEE!!!!!
The disease explains the pain I have, and it's pretty narly pain. Certain foods and drink aggravate it as well, and the list is kinda big of foods and drinks to avoid. Not sure if I'll be able to stick to that. A couple of the things on the list are lemons and tomatoes. I LOVE these two foods!!!
Anyway, I could go into detail on what this disease entails and what it's done to my bladder but instead I'll just provide a link for y'all to read yourselves.
He didn't remove the Endometriosis from my bladder because he said it wasn't necessary. It does cause pain so whatever.
Okay so click on the words above to see what they're about to understand me, k?
Also, another interesting thought. I'm really kinda grateful that Tyler's truck broke down when we were together and during the day because if not it would've broken down while Tyler was at work! That's in the middle of the night and his phone doesn't work. He'd be completely stranded and there wouldn't be a store open to help. It would've been BAD. So that was a blessing! It had to happen regardless, so thank God that it happened when and where it did!
Okay now back to "mothering" my sinus and ear infections and sore throat and aching belly
Well things are not working out at Tyler's job, afterall. Either he has to stay there and get LESS than his unemployment or quit and keep his unemployment or have nothing coming in at all!
Talk about getting screwed!!
His boss and nice and all and likes Tyler and wants to keep him, but this is the deal.
He has cut out ALL driving time in pay, and Tyler does a LOT of driving!!!
We're talking 2-3 hours or more of driving per night! PLUS, the gas!
He has to drive to Murray and then from there to Riverdale. VERY FAR. It's not worth it! He spends 100+ in gas in his truck a week, at the minimum. That's more than a hundred from each puny check. It's 4.25 an hour less than what he was making at his previous job, and frankly, that wasn't even enough for us to get by. We have too many bills and debts to get as little as he's getting. We're sinking again and it's really frustrating. And now without a car for me I cannot work the job I have so I've practically been demoted and from what I can tell she's finding someone to take my place. So yeah. That's the end of that. Without a car I CANNOT do that job.
My brother gave us a car, which is was good brothers do, the only thing is it needs a part we have to order that will take a week and Tyler's never home to order it let alone install it!!!!
He's gone from 5:30 at night until 7 or 8:am the next day. He sleeps from then until about 4:00 or 5:00. So yeah, that's how much time he gets to do other things (1 hour!!!!). It's IMPOSSIBLE to work with, and for the tiny wage that he's getting it's not worth it!!
"a job is a job" does not work when it's not making a difference and it's actually making things worse.
Plus he's gone Friday and Saturday and Sunday nights to school and work. It's just ridiculous!! So no dates, no FHE, no running errands, NOTHING.
If he was making decent money then I wouldn't mind! I WOULD NOT MIND. But he is not.
He HATES it. I have encouraged him to keep the job and try to make it work but he does NOT want to go. He does NOT want to be there making jack squat, driving all over the place for nothing, and being around really foul-mouthed, drug-addicted, smoking & drinking and porn-watching men for hours at a time and only getting paid for 2/3 of the time with them, or less.
I guess we're going to see what happens. He's talking to Department of Workforce Services and, well, he may not have a choice.
Until he can find a better job we just may be screwed for a while longer.
This is totally unfair. GRRRRR.
Oh, and btw, he doesn't even work 40 hours a week!!! So it's not even possible to get overtime. With all the hours he's gone he doesn't get paid for all of them. Last night was 6 hours but we was gone ALLLLLLLLLL night long and all morning long!! The night before it was 8 hours and he was gone way longer than that. So pretty much this is a waste!!!!
And you know what sucks? If he QUITS he loses all of his benefits!! Then we'll for sure be out everything. We won't have a truck anymore, or food, or a house, or phones, internet, NOTHING. We'll be homeless.
And who cares?
Well, nobody who could help anyway.
I guess those who think they know better than us and think they are smarter than us have a million ideas as to what we can do and why we're where we're at, but if the tables were turned I'm sure you wouldn't be a cent off better than we are because if it's one thing Tyler and I are NOT it is being stupid.
Okay there was my little vent and frustration.
