Just a little insight I had.... okay it's a long one, again.

Now I realize that many of you will not agree with me but here's a little impression I received last night or yesterday or sometime fairly recently.
Perhaps this was just for me, perhaps it was total truth, or whatever, but being that I'm in no place to receive revelation for anybody outside my own little family I don't expect anybody to accept this so you don't need to argue with me about it or put me down or "put me in my place". You can share with me how you agree or not but it won't change the impressions I received that I know came from my loving Heavenly Father to me directly.

When thinking about the financial differences and material blessing differences between people that have more v people who have less I found myself seriously and sincerely pondering on this. I prayed for some, well, answer I guess.
I had been reading from the scriptures, reading from Sheri Dew's book No Doubt About It, and considering my family, friends and ourselves in this dilemma.

The fact is there are lazy and negative people out there who dwell solely on what they DON'T have and some don't even think about it that much. They just don't think but sit around, waiting to be waited upon.
And there are some who marry and wait on their spouse or still wait on their parents for all their support while still remaining LAZY.

But, there are those of us who are not lazy. We go to school and do the best we can there without dropping out and whining about how hard it is, and those of us who work as hard and best as we can, and those of us who don't have jobs that have labored diligently and faithfully in finding another job without success. And those of us who have physical ailments that prevent us from doing as much as someone who has little or no physical ailments.
I've met so many people the last few years who are very good and faithful, smart and willing people who CANNOT do what others do to be considered successful in this life. I'm positive that these people, as much as those who are happily successful, have as much chance to make it into the Celestial Kingdom as the next obedient person.

Okay, now here's what came to me when thinking about all of this.
"God blesses some to have easier, more successful and enjoyable lives to help make them be happier and more positive people, which help inspire and encourage and give hope to those who struggle through much opposition (lack of money, health, opportunities, support), which then helps them have Faith and continue to have to have hope through all their trials which make them stronger and even more faithful people which then in turn inspires those who are blessed with more to become better people".
Does that make sense?
I had to write it down quickly so as to not forget it.

Pretty much, if people are righteous and follow the Commandments of God and keep their Covenants made with God and each other, then this plan is PERFECT.

God blesses some with great success as a result to their hard labors, heavy studying, and struggles in life.
God also keeps great success from others who struggle and study just as much as those who do receive great success.
This doesn't mean anything, except that we all have different callings and missions and expectations in life.

Remember the scripture that's in the New Testament that says it's easier for a rich man to enter through the eye of a pin that it is for him to enter the Kingdom of God? Why does God say that anyway?
Well, think about it.
If a man/woman gets success for their labors (or even just an inheritance) it can easily get to their heads. "I earned it" "I worked for it" "I deserve it" "It's mine".
The FACT is that ALL THAT WE HAVE IS GOD'S, NOT OURS.
He chooses who gets what in this life, period. It has NOTHING to do with what we do. Sure we can say it does, but think about it. There are some people who do very little and gain a lot. There are some who do a lot but gain very little.
God doesn't reward laziness, Eternally.
Riches and material blessings are not Eternal. They are extremely mortal. Just because someone is hard working and smart with their money doesn't mean that they're Eternally rich. God can give them lots of material wealth but does that go with them into the next life? Do those riches even matter?
NO. Obviously no.

God gives us more things to see what we choose to do with them.
Where much is given much is required.

I'm rambling on a lot more than what I intended, and I'm 100% sure that most who read this will not agree with me. But that's okay. This is something I felt the Spirit taught me personally and I felt like sharing it, for whatever good it could possibly do.

Here's a good example of personally seeing this in my life:
My dad is a very smart man. Perhaps one of the smartest people I've ever met. He's educated, qualified, hard-working, wise, and righteous.
Is he rich? No. He doesn't even have a job. Is it because he's been foolish? NO! Is it because he's been disobedient? NO. Is it because "he's missing something"? NO!
I am getting SICK AND TIRED of hearing people judge my father for his lack of material success in this life. Sick of it.
He's worked just as hard and as smart as the next rich guy, if not HARDER than.
He is not being punished. He is not missing something. He is not forgetting something that's keeping material blessings from him. It is simply that Heavenly Father doesn't NEED him to be rich. He is keeping my dad close to him because that's where he needs him. When we are struggling and poor we usually are humbled which makes us have more faith and the spirit is stronger in our lives making us more susceptible to receiving specific blessings and revelations and inspirations in our life that we otherwise could not have received had we been greatly materially successful.
One this is for certain. My dad is more charitable than any other rich man I know. He is more humble. He is more understanding. He is less judgmental. More accepting. More teachable. More in a lot of ways than any rich man I know.

Now I do know a lot of rich men that are amazing men (and women). I'm not saying that they can't be just as righteous as my dad is and even better.
The point is, just like the scripture says, it's harder for a rich man to make it into the Celestial Kingdom and not because money is evil. No. It's because being humble and having true charity is that much harder. It really is.

When being blessed with material blessings it's hard to remember those who are struggling. It's hard to think about what others with less could possibly be going through.
Usually what absorbs our minds are "they're not doing this right" or "they're not wise with their money" or "they should've done this instead" etc. As if they know better and think that the poor man is foolish, stupid and unwise or not righteous enough.

So here's my point.

Just because you worked really hard and got lots of money doesn't mean you deserved it, and it doesn't mean it's yours, and it doesn't mean you're better than "so-and-so" that has less than you did.
And just because you have no money or no job doesn't mean that you "deserve" less than the rich one. It doesn't mean God hasn't blessed you and it doesn't mean that you're stupid or "missing something" or foolish.

Just remember that the most important things in life are not the fruits of our physical labors, but the fruits of our Spiritual labors.

The wise man built his house upon the rock is not talking about physical things here. It is completely spiritual.

To God ALL things are Spiritual. We cannot comprehend all that the Lord comprehends.
Where we are faithful the Lord stores up TREASURES IN HEAVEN, NOT ON EARTH.

And I really believe this. I really believe that even if I don't ever "score" where money and material blessings are concerned, that they'll be waiting for me in the next life if I remain faithful and endure to the end. And I also know it has nothing to do with how hard I work or how smart I do things but it has EVERYTHING to do with God's plan and God's will in all things.

So I guess you can go ahead and keep your money since you think YOU earned it and it's YOURS and it's because of everything YOU'VE done. Remember that to think this way is thinking you're as great as if not greater than God, because ALL you have is the Father's, and it has nothing to do with your righteousness or smartness and ALL to do with his Plan and will.
As long as we DO OUR BEST and remain faithful we will be blessed AS THE LORD SEES FIT.

I pray that you ALL can understand what I wrote here.... but I won't count on it.

Oh well :)

Roller-Coaster with the Job!!!!!!! :( :(

Well things are not working out at Tyler's job, afterall. Either he has to stay there and get LESS than his unemployment or quit and keep his unemployment or have nothing coming in at all!
Talk about getting screwed!!
His boss and nice and all and likes Tyler and wants to keep him, but this is the deal.
He has cut out ALL driving time in pay, and Tyler does a LOT of driving!!!
We're talking 2-3 hours or more of driving per night! PLUS, the gas!
He has to drive to Murray and then from there to Riverdale. VERY FAR. It's not worth it! He spends 100+ in gas in his truck a week, at the minimum. That's more than a hundred from each puny check. It's 4.25 an hour less than what he was making at his previous job, and frankly, that wasn't even enough for us to get by. We have too many bills and debts to get as little as he's getting. We're sinking again and it's really frustrating. And now without a car for me I cannot work the job I have so I've practically been demoted and from what I can tell she's finding someone to take my place. So yeah. That's the end of that. Without a car I CANNOT do that job.
My brother gave us a car, which is was good brothers do, the only thing is it needs a part we have to order that will take a week and Tyler's never home to order it let alone install it!!!!
He's gone from 5:30 at night until 7 or 8:am the next day. He sleeps from then until about 4:00 or 5:00. So yeah, that's how much time he gets to do other things (1 hour!!!!). It's IMPOSSIBLE to work with, and for the tiny wage that he's getting it's not worth it!!
"a job is a job" does not work when it's not making a difference and it's actually making things worse.
Plus he's gone Friday and Saturday and Sunday nights to school and work. It's just ridiculous!! So no dates, no FHE, no running errands, NOTHING.
If he was making decent money then I wouldn't mind! I WOULD NOT MIND. But he is not.
He HATES it. I have encouraged him to keep the job and try to make it work but he does NOT want to go. He does NOT want to be there making jack squat, driving all over the place for nothing, and being around really foul-mouthed, drug-addicted, smoking & drinking and porn-watching men for hours at a time and only getting paid for 2/3 of the time with them, or less.

I guess we're going to see what happens. He's talking to Department of Workforce Services and, well, he may not have a choice.
Until he can find a better job we just may be screwed for a while longer.
This is totally unfair. GRRRRR.

Oh, and btw, he doesn't even work 40 hours a week!!! So it's not even possible to get overtime. With all the hours he's gone he doesn't get paid for all of them. Last night was 6 hours but we was gone ALLLLLLLLLL night long and all morning long!! The night before it was 8 hours and he was gone way longer than that. So pretty much this is a waste!!!!
And you know what sucks? If he QUITS he loses all of his benefits!! Then we'll for sure be out everything. We won't have a truck anymore, or food, or a house, or phones, internet, NOTHING. We'll be homeless.
And who cares?
Well, nobody who could help anyway.

I guess those who think they know better than us and think they are smarter than us have a million ideas as to what we can do and why we're where we're at, but if the tables were turned I'm sure you wouldn't be a cent off better than we are because if it's one thing Tyler and I are NOT it is being stupid.

Okay there was my little vent and frustration.

An Update & Some Thoughts

So I didn't get the job at Convergys. Tyler and I both had a feeling that it wouldn't happen. I gave it my best and my all, but they chose another candidate. I just don't have Excel 100% down. I think I sucked on that part of the test lol.
Tyler's also been turned down for a LOT of jobs he's applied for. We've both applied for countless jobs already!! They all want SPECIFIC skills and stuff and some of it was just do not have. And the skills we do have the job had just been filled! Just bad timing.
So we are having a yard sale tomorrow at our place. We're selling our entire bedroom set, dining set, some shelves, a TV stand, a crib, clothes, vases, magnet board I made (it's so nice. I'll miss it), a printer, DVD rack that cost a lot, an amp, and more! I just think this is absolutely necessary. We have no other choice.
Even if either of us or both of us got a job right now it wouldn't be in time to pay the 1200.00 our bank wants. They'll repossess our truck next week and then sue us for everything we have, they said.
We really are in a bad spot. I know some people just don't believe that or realize that. It's the worst I've ever seen personally, at one time.
No money for food or gas, no money for phones, utilities, rent, internet, NOTHING. We HAVE to have internet for Tyler's school. And Tyler quitting school right now is NOT an option. He's on the Dean's List and is doing so well! With this schooling he'll be able to get valuable certificates to hopefully work at a hospital or doctor's office soon. That's his goal, anyway.
Getting a job that pays more than State benefits allow will screw us!! The only way we can survive is if Tyler or I are making a lot more than what we were making before. People don't seem to understand that.
They really don't.
We have THOUSANDS of dollars in medical debt that they all want paid immediately!! We've been sued FOUR TIMES in a month's time!!! Threatened to be sued two more times right now. 1 by the bank. The other Mountainland Collections. So yeah. We can't do it. We just can't.

Here's what we've been hoping for and planning for and working for:
Tyler and I are looking for part-time jobs for both of us. Not paying too much so that we can still get State benefits. It seems the wisest route for us for right now. Then we'll get on Housing (Section 8) in about 8-18 months. That'll help sooo much! Tyler will get certificates in 2-4 months that'll help him get a better job.
We're going to go to his school and speak with Financial Aid and see if we can't get more student loans to pay for our medical debt. We really don't know what else to do. Like paying 50.00 a month to like 25 different places is a LOT of money, ya know? But that's what they all want, or full payment, or they'll sue us. Get it?
Our bishop is offering absolutely NO help at all. Not for food or anything. I think he has the wrong opinion of us so we're going to meet with him on Sunday and explain to him EXACTLY what's going on.
I'm really tired of being misunderstood and misjudged by people who should understand.
You take one look at our situation and you automatically think, "they must be doing something wrong or did something wrong".
People have looked at my parents this same way.
It's just not right, period.
Some people CANNOT help their situation, no matter what!

Anyway, we're doing the best we can to better our circumstances and working hard to get ourselves into a better circumstance. I know there are MANY who are in much better circumstances than our own and what they're doing is more important than what we need. And still people judge others who struggle, like us.

"For behold, ye do love money and your substance, and your fine apparel, and the adorning of your churches, more than ye love the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted"
-Mormon 8:37

"But wo unto the rich, who are rich as to the things of the world. For because they are rich they despise the poor, and they persecute the meek, and their hearts are upon their treasures; wherefore, their treasure is their god. And behold, their treasure shall perish with them also."
-2 Nephi 9:30

"And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you - that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sings from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God - I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants."
-Mosiah 4:26

AND THEN THE MOST POINTED, STRONG AND UNMISTAKABLE SCRIPTURES OF ALL on this subject:
"And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.
"PERHAPS THOU SHALT SAY: THE MAN HAS BROUGHT UPON HIMSELF HIS MISERY; THEREFORE I WILL STAY MY HAND, AND WILL NOT GIVE UNTO HIM OF MY FOOD, NOR IMPART UNTO HIM OF MY SUBSTANCE THAT HE MAY NOT SUFFER, FOR HIS PUNISHMENTS ARE JUST -
"But I say unto you, O man, whosever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdon of God.
"For behold, ARE WE NOT ALL BEGGARS? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and gold, and for silver, and for all the riches we have of every kind?
"And now, if God, who has created you, ON WHOM YOU ARE DEPENDENT FOR YOUR LIVES AND FOR ALL THAT YE HAVE AND ARE, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.
"AND IF YE JUDGE THE MAN WHO PUTTETH UP HIS PETITION TO YOU FOR YOUR SUBSTANCE TAHT HE PERISH NOT, AND CONDEMN HIM, HOW MUCH MORE JUST WILL BE YOUR CONDEMNATION FOR WITHHOLDING YOUR SUBSTANCE, WHICH DOTH NOT BELONG TO YOU BUT TO GOD, TO WHOM ALSO YOUR LIFE BELONGETH; AND YET YE PUT UP NO PETITION, NOR REPENT OF THE THING WHICH THOU HAST DONE.
"I say unto you, wo be unto that man, for his substance shall perish with him; and now, I say these things unto those who are rich as pertaining to the things of this world."
Mosiah 4:16-19, 21-23

These are scriptures from God. I don't care what or who you believe in, these are true and good things that we should follow.
I know I was raised to believe and feel this way, especially since I was raised in such a poor home with caring parents who did everything they could to provide for us.
I was also shown what it's like to have very rich people surround me and my family who will not help except conditionally. They loan things. And then expect repayment and sometimes even with interest attached. How is that charitable? How is that what Heavenly Father would want for us to do to each other? How can you feel right about doing that, especially if it's family??

How can you watch people suffer so much and say "it's their fault, they shouldn't have boughten that car" or "they did it to themselves, she should've been working to help instead of staying home with their children, so it's their fault" or "they just want attention and an easy way out" or "they're only going to go spend it on something stupid, like go out to eat or alcohol or to pay for that new couch they have".

How do you KNOW that?

And it's not up to you to judge to whom your money goes to with all these conditions. If someone NEEDS it GIVE IT!!

I hate hearing people, especially Christian's, say, "That beggar is a worthless SOB. He's just a lazy drunk and probably makes more than I do" and then walk on by him and ignore him while he sits in the dirty street with a sign or a cup, imploring our help.

My husband and I, and my family, have always been charitable to give to others, even if it's all we had in our pockets to give, we still give it. We know what it's like to be poor and needy! We're here right now!!!

I also remember that story from the Bible that says that lady who gave her two coins and it was ALL she had. It was worth far less than what others were giving, but to God it was worth waaaaay more than what the others were giving because it was all she had!! The other wealthier people only gave some change pretty much, in comparison to their incomes or posessions.

You know, until you know exactly what is going on in people's lives and with their circumstances and especially what's in their hearts and minds, then don't judge them! Don't think or say to yourself that they deserve it or ask for it or NEED it or this is "their learning time" and leave them alone thinking they'll work it out or they deserve it for their choices they've made or whatever!!!

How do you justify that?

Anyway, there you go. I have much deeper thoughts about this and can be sooo much bolder with it in my opinions and thoughts.

I've seen too much to be ignorant on this topic.

okay, back to our life.
Here's to hoping God has mercy on us before we end up homeless.

Money Money Money Money Money Money Money

So I was thinking about this and Tyler and I have talked about it and my parents have and Kimberley and I have and many others, but, when it comes to Money, we're all a little different than I think a lot, or most, people are with it.
Okay, sure you can say we're bad with it. Go ahead and say it, think it, whatever, but it doesn't matter cuz that's a matter of opinion and perspective and priorities, quite frankly.
I have an old boss that was a multi-millionaire. We worked side-by-side and became pretty darn good friends. I admired this man. He was incredibly intelligent, but, when you first met him you would think he was a bum from Australia, because of his speach impediment, and also because of what he drove and what he wore. To him impressions didn't mean much at all, it was work ethic that mattered most.
Some people think material things DO matter because impressions DO matter. Some people think family matters most, or their career, or their church or "platform". Some think that the earth matters most, life, nature, or sports. You name it, we all think something different from another and all our priorities are slightly or greatly different from one another's.
Anyway, to get to the main point of me writing this blog, I think that Tyler and I have a similar belief system when it comes to money. Oh sure there are differing priorities, but we both know that we think a lot alike when it comes to how to spend money or who to spend it on, etc.
For example, when it comes to helping other people we know and/or care about we are more than willing to spend money on them. Say we decide we want to go to dinner with the family, or with some close friends, and their company is worth more to us than our money and we have enough to share we will PAY FOR THEM to eat with us. We'll pay for friends/family to go see a movie with us, or we'll provide dinner or whatever it takes to spend time with these people. We have NEVER been "rich" or had plenty for our needs and wants. We have been comfortable for a short period of time and during that time we paid for anything for friends and family.
That time when we were doing fine financially we even bought the entire Christmas and food and tickets to a game for a single mom and her child. That was the greatest Christmas ever!! We've helped with bills and food and entertainment for those we care about. We'll loan out money, or just give it to them.
Now, we don't have ANY extra money. As a matter of fact we've been sued a couple of times now and there are just medical bills piling up by the week and, well, life is happening. Tyler DOES have a good-paying job so we do NOT qualify for state assistence in any way, but all our checks go to these people sueing us or surprise bills and to keep our utilities and phone and what-not from being shut off.
There are some people who have enough, or even don't have enough, who have helped us. God bless them for that. They are truly charitable people God will, and is, blessing. There are some who will NOT help. Why?
Well, here are the reasons I've heard from wealthier people in the past for not helping out people who struggle financially:
1. they think they are enabling them.
2. they think they are being taken advantage of
3. they know they'll never get paid back
4. they worked hard for what they have
5. they think the other person is lazy
6. they think it's a temporary fix for a more permanant problem
well, these are the basic reasons. I know more an can go on, but I don't want to. It kinda irritates me.
These people have turned into gods. No joking!! They have! Why? Well, because they are deciding what's best for the person who is in need. They are making judgments based on their limited knowledge and experience. They are being selfish, plain and simply put, and PRIDEFUL. They think they are BETTER than the people who are needy.
They think they work harder, are smarter, have better priorities, are wiser, deserve what they have, and that everything they have is THEIRS to KEEP and not required to give or share. They think that God obviously has blessed them with what they have because they DESERVE it, OR, they think they're THAT GOOD that they deserve it for all their ______ (fill in the blank with: hard word, wisdom, education, experience, intelligence, good inheritance, straight priorities and/or sacrifice).
But what if, for example, the table was turned and those with money had none or very little and those without money suddenly had what they needed or more than what they needed? What would change?
From my own personal experience, and based from what many, many others have mentioned to me before, that those without money now are the types of people who would GIVE FREELY of what they have to help those in need, and the wealthier people would blame themselves entirely for their want and need and sink into despairing depressions and probably commit suicide or be very, very angry and resentful people. The poor, now rich, people would help those who are needy and the needy and resentful people would be too prideful to accept the help offered, or would snatch it thinking they still deserved it and resent them all the same.
Not saying EVERYONE would be like this, of course!! Just an idea to think about is all.
I've known people who worked hard for years and became millionaires and flaunt what they have thinking it's all due to their hard work and nothing else, and then even those that work hard for years and become millionaires and then suddenly lose it all. They have the hardest adjustment going from rich to poor. They think that going from nice food to ramen noodles and bread and butter is the hardest think they've ever had to endure and they go on and on about it like "woe is me". Very few millionaires actually make it back down to POVERTY level.
Some of the nicest and best people I've EVER met have been those who have very little or nothing at all.
I know what I'm talking about here. I've LIVED in a third world country.
I've been VERY POOR most of my life, but it is nothing in comparison to what it's like living in a third world country. Believe me. You have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER of what POOR and POVERTY-STRICKEN is until you live among those who are afflicted with these.
Okay, on another thing to think about.
What would you do if you had this budget to go off of?:
1800.00 month income
car payment 250.00
Dr bills 200.00 month, minimum
Internet & phone 150.00
Food & Gasoline & Necessities 500-700.00
Rent/Mortgage 750.00
Utilities 150.00
Tithing 180.00
am I missing anything??
What if only one spouse can work? What if there is only one parent? What if both spouses are working or one is going to school and working or one to school and the other working? What if one is consistently sick/ill hence the reason for the high doctor bills and cannot keep a steady job? What if small children require mother to stay home? What if their priorities are DIFFERENT from yours and you have no good reason to judge but you see a financial problem here?
I'm sure you'd like to say "take this and this out, budget this, get more income" blah blah blah.
The truth is we all live in different incomes and different budgets for different reasons. We can judge and say, "they're foolish with their money" but how do you KNOW THAT for sure?? How can you judge that when you don't know what's in their heart, what they've worked out together to be their priorities, and who are you to decide what priorities are justified and what are wrong?
Pretty much God has said some very plain, basic and simple things FOR ALL PEOPLE to follow, and anybody who has common sense and can care about humanity and their fellow men can follow these simple rules, no matter who made them be it God or Aristotle or Budha.
Give to the poor.
Do not judge, it is God's place to judge.
Give to the needy.
Do not suffer anyone to go hungry or naked.
Share your talents, money, abilities, food, clothing, houses, all that you have with others to help them.
Do not kick people out of your "synagogues" (sp bad, sorry) because they are without.
Well, those are just a few things that God has said. I guess take them for what they are worth.
But really, if we are to hoard our money and judge those who don't live the same way we do then we'll never change. We'll always be devided into classes and there will always be pride and poverty.
And remember, above all else, that EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING you have is not yours, no matter how much you think it is, and that includes your income or inheritance. It is God's. We all were created equal. God does not esteem one man above another. And God gives to us so that we'll learn to give to others and accept what is given to us with gratefulness.
P.S. That is not our budget I have listed here. Just so ya know!