Tyler is gone!!
We had a very successful farewell party for him on Saturday the 20th. It was for EVERYBODY that had known or does know Tyler. We had a very good turnout and it was so much fun! Tyler and I were so busy the entire time that we hardly even saw each other. There were several missed people, but we still had a super awesome turn-out and Tyler felt so loved and supported by many.
Sunday was a very wonderful day, sad day as it was. We got to spend time at my grandparen's house in Bountiful. They sure love Tyler a lot. They say that he must be really special because he married me haha. Isn't that cute?
Tyler offered to make dinner for them and my family so all of us got together with my grandparents and Tyler made his last dinner for all of us. It was so good! Homemade chicken noodle soup! :)
We had a good time together.
Then Tyler and I drove to the hotel where he'd be staying the night. We went to say our goodbyes.
Mom and dad and Andrea came with so that Andrea could drive me home and my parents could drive the girls home.
It was so hard!! It was so painful and sickening to say goodbye! One of the hardest things I've ever had to do!
I've never seen him cry so hard before as he did when he held me and the girls. It was upsetting to me to see it.
It was Sunday that I realized that I was a military wife and all my life that I've realized about military wives I've always felt soooo sorry for them. My heart would ache for them and I'd cry for them when I'd see their loved ones leaving or returning and I remember always being grateful that I wasn't one of them. When I mentioned this to Tyler one of our friends, Chad Neth, his song came on the radio and for some reason his song coupled with what I said just hit us really hard and we both started to cry so hard. That was our very last time together alone.
I was really lucky to get 4 phone calls from him. It was so good to hear his voice! He was going through all sorts of emotions. But he's strong. I've been getting impressions to pray for him, though, which I have been doing, of course!
Lacie's really struggled with him being gone. She and Sophie both cry for him to come home off and on, but Lacie more-so than Sophie.
Today for the first time I left the girls with a babysitter that God blessed me with for while I'm in school. I HATE leaving my girls! It does not feel right to me.
Right before I got there to get them Sophie had fallen from the monkey bars in their backyard and hurt her foot. I got there and could hear her screaming in pain. I was alarmed cuz I'd never heard her scream and cry like that before. I knew she was really hurt.
I took her home and my friend Kristen showed up right after we got back and brought us dinner! It was the biggest life-saver!!!
Sophie had stopped crying but she refused to walk on it. She gave it an honest effort but I knew something was wrong so we packed up and took her to the Emergency Room.
She was so easy-going and not crying or anything so I knew they didn't really know what to think about it. After they did the x-ray, though, they all got serious.
She broke the big bone up the big toe in the middle of the foot. It's a green-stick fracture.
They referred me to a bone/foot specialist who will probably refer us to Primary Children's Medical Center. We'll see how it goes.
Just now Sophie keeps saying she wants daddy here to see it and she always is asking me if I miss daddy.
Poor kid woke up from a long nap after so much pain and she's been shaking and has a slight fever and is talking about how it hurts.
Okay I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now and aching for Tyler.
Time to end this.
I cannot believe how time has been rushing by!
Things have been so strange, surreal, and hard. Very hard.
Amazing to me how people can be so insensitive with things they say and do during hard times like these. Suddenly I realize how much people's own lives revolve around themselves. They're mindless of how their words and actions can really hurt others.
I've had many people say hurtful things to me lately, as if they know better or even know what they're talking about. Sometimes they've only meant well, but when they don't really know what they're talking about and only say things that can be offensive and/or hurtful then you know they don't understand and don't have the Spirit directing their words and/or actions.
I don't know how other women do it when their husbands are gone so much. Tyler and I are SO close. So very, very close. Very best friends, and practically inseparable, we tell each other everything. We really are "one". It seems most people don't understand this. I see lots of couples who aren't very close and they are calloused about our separation. And I see many who are used to being separated and they forget what it's like the first time to be apart for so long.
It honestly feels like I'm preparing for his death!! That is how hard it's been on me, on us.
We also have been seeing very clearly who are true friends and who are not. It's been hurtful and joyful at the same time. Amazing "angel-like" friends are appearing out of no-where and some who we thought were good friends are dropping like flies.
Another thing that's been hurtful are those that have no faith in me as a mother. No faith in God. No faith in anything. I believe in God and I believe He has all power. I also know that he doesn't allow us to go through anything that is too much for us to be able to bear. I know that He provides a way. We know this is right what we are doing and when we are obedient to God then He provides a way to help us accomplish whatever He's asked or commanded us to do. (1 Ne 3:7).
In my Patriarchle Blessing it says that my many talents and abilities will come out while I am a mother in Zion, and I really feel this is the time for those to start coming out.
I just KNOW that Heavenly Father is going to help me and take care of us.
The ONLY thing I worry about is discouragement, depression and people who will continually lack faith in me and put me down. I don't want to feel like that. I don't want to feel too tired and discouraged to try my hardest or keep plugging along. I pray I have the strength, energy, health, stamina and desire to be awesome while Tyler is away. I really hope that my memory improves!! Pray it does!
Also, I need to clear something up. I heard from a direct source that people think Tyler joined the Army to use it to pay off our debts. NO. N-O!!!!!!!!!!!!
We did it because it was RIGHT. We desperately needed the health benefits, we needed the steady income and pay-checks, and, Tyler had always wanted to be a Soldier in the U.S. Army and we were literally directed straight into this path. It was the ONLY door that opened for us.
We did NOT get ANY bonuses for signing up!!!!!!!!!!!! They don't hardly do that anymore!! It's not a "enlist and get rich" thing at all!! This is purely sacrificing for us right now. It really is!!
We aren't even getting paychecks for almost 2 months!!!!!!! Nothing!!
WE ARE PAYING OFF OUR DEBTS ALL ON OUR VERY OWN. We are greatly struggling to do this, and we are not filing bankruptcy or anything like that.
And our debts are NOT consumer except one at RC Willey. It's ALL for medical.
whew. I hope people who need to see this actually do, or someone forwards it to them because, frankly, I'm SICK AND TIRED OF JUDGMENTAL, KNOW-IT-ALL PEOPLE!!!!!
Heavenly Father please help me not let people get to me so easily!!
I'm so sensitive and trusting, accepting, loving, naive in lots of ways, forgiving, and more. because of this I get hurt a LOT and very easily. Especially with GOSSIP. Lies, exaggerations, wow. They've hurt me and tarnished my reputation forever with friends and family both.
Okay, now to end this. I'm getting irritable now and I'm SUPER tired and very emotional. I think I'm emotional for a good reason, hopefully others will understand and remember that, too, instead of jumping down my throat.
HE LEAVES IN 6 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Tyler's farewell party is THIS SATURDAY. If you want the details to it please write me. He would love to see anyone who knows him. He, and us, need any support we can get right now.
thank you!!!
I cannot believe how fast time is running by! My Tyler leaves in 13 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lacie and Sophie are being prepped by Tyler himself and they are sad. Sophie feels like he's leaving her because she was bad and Lacie's just distraught over the entire thing. She's a daddy's girl through and through and has been since day 1!!
I'm sincerely hoping that I can keep my girls busy and happy and satisfied with life while their daddy is gone.
Remember, he's been with all of us pretty much 24/7 since he lost his job over a year ago!!! This is going to be the exact opposite for us. Here 24/7, then gone 100%.
I have a lot of plans on how to keep us busy and happy and I really hope they can work out!
Money will be EXTREMELY tight but I am praying that creditors and doctors will work with us on payments so that I can afford to get the girls swimming lessons, maybe even dance or martial arts lessons. I think they'd be so happy to do something like that!
I want them to take piano lessons and I'd love to teach them both violin lessons. I'd have to rent the miniature violins, though, and that's 30.00 a month for the both of them. Well, that's what it used to be when I used to teach Lacie.
I have a wonderful ward member who is going to be watching Sophie for me during the day and getting Lacie to and from school. What an answer to prayers she was!!! And she has girls my girls' ages and they're in the same classes and everything. I'm so happy about that!!
I'm still trying to decide on going to school in the Summer. If I do I'll have to find another babysitter. I'd go for only 2 reasons: 1. my own thing away from home to keep myself busy in my own personal endeavors and 2. for the loan money. Yeah the money reason's not the best reason, but that money we could use to pay off a little more immediate and impatient debt and also to use so that we can fly to Tyler's basic training graduation in May or June sometime.
Right now we're trying to cut from our lives those that only have negative things to say and think about us. It's been very hard doing this because, unfortunately, some of them have been family. Here's what I said to one of our cousins last night: "They say that blood is thicker than water. But what if that blood is poisonous? Do you keep the poisonous blood or switch to pure water?" Honestly, what makes more sense? I'm pretty sure the "family" that have been giving us problems won't be reading this anyway, and we both have such huge families that almost none of you can even begin to guess who these people are. But just the same, I won't mention who they are, and it's not just been family. It's been "friends" and acquaintances. It's hurt, but it's been more painful to have these negative, self-righteous and judgmental people in our lives than cutting them out.
Okay, Tyler and I have had a few opportunities to go to the Temple together thanks to my parents!!! My parents are already super busy but they realize the importance for Tyler and I to have these times alone to go to the Temple and on dates and what-not. Also thanks to Michelle!! And to Destiny and sometimes Tyler's parents and other friends and family here and there who have let us leave our girls with them so that we can be together.
We're trying to create more memories to keep with us while we're separated.
Oh, and we got more ammo for both my guns :D hee hee. Cannot ever be too prepared, right?? Tyler wants to make sure I'm 100% set for while he's away and unable to physically protect us. Great thing is that I know we'll be protected. I do wish we lived in a better place, though! The neighborhood has been getting creepier all the time with the families moving out and single partiers moving in!
Okay, now I should get to bed. I have a test coming up, like usual, and we have more organizing, cleaning, errands and other important odds and ends to attend to. If we seem "out of it" or forgetful or untouchable don't think it's cuz we have something against you at all, it's cuz we have a lot going on and we're totally wrapped up in ourselves at the moment and I'm sorry if this hurts anybody! We don't mean it. We just really appreciate your love, understanding, patience and prayers! Keep 'em coming!!
