ANOTHER Baby Frambo coming?! Why yes, yes there is!

So,
Several more years have passed once again since my last post to this blog! Tyler has since been medically retired from the army and we've moved back to Utah, two this I wasn't entirely thrilled about. At least tyler's happier about this.
Right now he's in between jobs, we just moved from a dark basement appt in this amazing church Ward to a duplex that's within the borders of this still same amazing church Ward.
My health is ever always in question, but at least there haven't been any new recently diagnosed issues, hospitalizations or surgeries! At least for me anyway.
Lacie's been through a lot in the last few years, though.
She had an emergency appendectomy in January 2013 or 2014, then she had both femur get some seriously major surgery work done on them by Dr Aoki up at Primary Children's Medical Center. She also just started 7th grade in Jr High today! She's growing up sooo quickly!!
Sophie is in 4th grade at a great charter school, and Liam is in an excellent Early Intervention preschool close by as well. They're all doing pretty good.
So, around the same time that we're moving I find out that I'm expecting baby #4!!!! I seriously cannot believe this!!
I'm scared out of my freaking mind for my health, body and life, and that for the baby's, but I'm also excited to be able to have another baby!
I'm praying pretty hard, though, that things go well and normally this go around! 😥
I need all the prayers that I can get!
Anyway, finances are not good at all, Tyler keeps losing jobs, and we're now in marital counseling. Needless to say that a lot of very bad advice dished out has cost us a lot of pain and unnecessary difficulties. It's very hard to stay married these days when the world, and most people, encourage divorce when there are health problems, etc. It's been heart breaking for me to realize the shallowness of many, and that a person's worth is based solely and entirely on what they can physically do, and nothing more. I'm pretty sure that most who are like this don't even realize they are this way. After all, it's easy to judge and point fingers, complain and dwell on the negative for most people.
Okay, enough about that.
I'm feeling scared and alone, worried and stressed out these days and hope is slowly draining away for me these days.
I pray I can hang on longer and tighter and that something gives! We need the blessings!

It's been YEARS! Have you missed me?

Hey my Peeps!!
It's been such a long, long, LONG time since I've updated my blog! It was crying and begging for my attention, so I caved and came to take a look at it and decided to take a little time and write a few updates for y'all!
So, I've had another baby!!! It's a miracle, literally!! 
After trying everything we could affordably do, including some fertility treatments, we just could not have another baby. It was discouraging, disappointing, but, we also trusted in The Lord and we know for certain that as long as we're doing what's right, and following God's direction, then everything happens the way it's supposed to and The Lord will guide us on the path we're supposed to be walking. So we knew if we'd have another baby that it would be in His timing, not our own, and that it would be in His manner and way, if it even happens at all. I am also very grateful for the two girls I have, recognizing they they, too, are miracles in and of themselves! I almost lost all three children before they were born with multiple complications, so if I could never have had another child of my own, I was ready to accept that and change my attitude to be one of satisfaction and peace for having just two children even though we had originally wanted 4 to 6 children. 
So, after Tyler came back from his 18 month forever Army training and serving in S. Korea, we were both extremely surprised and shocked that I got pregnant right off the bat! I mean gosh, my little boy wasted no time in making sure he was getting here! 
Tyler got home August 30th, 2011, and Liam Tyler Frampton was born on April 30th 2012! He was born 5 weeks premature and was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for several weeks. He was a very sick baby boy. His lungs and heart weren't developed all the way and he couldn't eat on his own being so tired, sick, and weak, so he had a feeding tube the entire time. 
It was one of the most difficult things we've both, (Tyler and I), ever been through! Our baby boy who is pleasant, happy, and energetic by nature, was suffering, and it tore us up inside to watch this first-hand.
I will share my entire labor and birthing story later, because it was a very traumatic, crazy, scary, and almost life-taking experience that really should be shared, but I do need to cut this short. 
Liam is 9 1/2 months old now (OH MY GOSH!!!) and Lacie is now 9 and Sophie will be turning 7 in two weeks!! This is just insane that our children are this old already and growing up so stinkin darn fast!!! 
We are living on an Army base that's on the border of Tennessee and Kentucky and have mixed feelings about this area haha. The base seems to be pretty boring and dull. Every time I'm out and about all I can do is dream up ways of fixing up the place, upgrading, redesigning, and refabbing everything! It needs COLOR and STYLE and some excitement and beauty around here like something fierce!!
Just around the base it's pretty ghetto. I wouldn't EVER be caught walking around out there at night, or even during the day, all alone. No way! There are robberies and murders, rapes, shooting-outs, all that stuff plus drugs and lots of accidents and deaths caused by DUI morons, not to mention the nudie bars and under-age drinking, etc., etc. It's just gross and crazy-scary and dangerous, SO, we like to venture out further like to Clarksville, TN and Nashville, TN. 
There is a lot of beauty around here if you drive a little further out from the base in any direction. A lot of Amish, Menonite, and Shaker's live out here, too. 
Lately Ty and I have been having a lot of fun Picking antiques and what-nots, visiting antique stores and second-hand stores, refabbing up our finds, turning them around, and selling them. 
Tyler's still a cook in the Army and he's been going to school full-time and not working, which has been really nice :).
Now back to taking care of my cute, big baby boy, Liam, and getting the girls ready for a sleep-over. :)

Time drags or time flies, either way it still passes.

So here I am finally updating my blog again! I haven't been able to get on here much to update so I'm sorry for the major delay.


Lots has been happening around here and most of it has been excruciatingly stressful for me, and my girls, and my family that I'm living with.


I have been deeply and painfully hurt more than I can ever think of before in my life just in the last day and I don't see any efforts in this being rectified. I just wish SO MUCH that Latter Day Saints would truly try to be beings of true Integrity, Loyalty, and strictly keep the sacred covenants they've made in holy Temples with God. 
People who choose to rationalize their behavior cause so much hurt and pain for others, especially those closest to them, and they don't see the hurt hearts of their loved ones as the real issue but that the hurt loved ones must be out of line to feel that way.


Anyway, that's all I'll say about that. I just have been thinking a LOT lately about Integrity, Honesty, and Obedience.


I've been looking for every opportunity to teach my little girls these most important and essential virtues. I enjoy teaching my girls, and I always feel directed by the Holy Ghost when doing so, and I know just what to say. It's the most amazing feeling. 
Reminds me of when I was serving a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to the people of Buenos Aires Argentina. I love teaching the Truth and WITH THE SPIRIT.




Last week I had surgery. It was highly recommended by two of my doctors so I finally had it done. The pain I experience daily is more than one can bear without help from outside sources (such as a pill or two, or three). I know that I complain a lot, and I know I seem pathetic to many, but the fact is people don't REALLY CARE what you're experiencing and going through unless they've been there before and understand exactly what it's like or they're currently going through the same things right now.
I am finding so many good friends online that understand and support me and it's been a huge blessing!
Other Army Wives and other women who suffer from Interstitial Cystitis have become a HUGE strength to me! And a vast resource of information as well. It's been wonderful and I don't feel as alone as I could be.


The surgery went well. When I was coming to from the anesthesia I remember dreaming that Tyler wasn't there and I was frantic for him to be there. I was so distraught over his absence that I did not realize that I was thrashing around and they had to hold me down. How embarrassing is that? I've NEVER woken from anesthesia in such a horrible state! 
So I bruised my knee and tore my stitches a little, making them bleed, and only causing myself further pain. I guess I wasn't breathing at all because I vaguely remember them making me use an inhaler a couple of times and them giving me more meds and yada yada. 
Then my mom came in and I was totally groggy. In and out. I remember them saying every time I fell asleep I'd completely stop breathing. It's funny cuz I always warn the nurses that I have Sleep Apnea and they assume that keeping me propped up with help. lol. NOPE. I don't have the obstruction type that most people have (cuz they're fat or they have tiny air passages or enlarged adnoids, etc), but cuz my brain does not send the signal for me to breath. It sucks royally. I will never sleep well, or at all, without a CPAP machine or oxygen. Kinda a bummer huh? lol oh well!! 


Then I was super pleasantly surprised that my best friend Kristen showed up!! I had hoped she would be able to but wasn't counting on it since she's such a super busy lady working so much and taking care of her kiddos, but she came!!! It was SO NICE seeing her and she immediately cheered me up!! I was so grateful that two of the most important people in my life were there with me. I felt safe and comforted and finally could calm down enough that they could release me. 


Well, since the surgery my pain has only worsened. Honestly it's MUCH worse than I even let off it to be. I feel so awful that I'm not up and about and helping do anything. I do feel I'm doing well with the girls considering my state, but I wish I could do better. I'm especially distraught, still, over my husband not being home with me. 
Anyway, I've had a fever for 5 days now since I've been checking and my abdomen swelling won't go away. I've lost a couple pounds, too. It's hard to eat because it hurts and I get nauseated easily. 
So the doc had me come in a week early to check me out. He said to just keep an eye on myself to make sure the pain doesn't get worse or doesn't get better at all and if my fever stays or gets higher that it's a possibility that I have a little internal bleeding going on. Wonderful huh? lol.


Now on another interesting and sad note for me, my brother, Erik, is leaving for the Army in 3 days!!!!! I'm going to miss him terribly! I'm sad I probably won't see him again for YEARS. He's going to training. Okay he'll be back for Christmas that lucky dog since my husband isn't allowed the same privileges (nor do we have the money for it even if he COULD come home) so I will see him again for a couple of days at least.
He's doing infantry, the crazy man. hahaha. But I'm sure he'll do so great and that he'll love it! Erik's such a stud! But I'm very sad he's leaving.


Lacie is having a hard time with kids in school. The boys around here seem to be a little perverted or something. They relentlessly tease Lacie trying to kiss her or pretending to kiss her, trying to look up her shirt, spanking her bottom, throwing things at her, and calling her names. I don't want to tell her that boys do that if they like you because I don't think it's fair for her to accept this mean trait from boys and be okay with a jerk later on in life thinking "it's cuz he loves me that he's such a jerk". Nope. So I tell her to ignore them, walk away, tell them to grow up, and to go tell her teacher right away. At any rate I keep her teacher well informed of the happenings at her school.
Sophie has bad dreams still and asks me sometimes if her daddy is dead. It's awful! Even though she sees him sometimes on the internet talking to her, she still fears this. She's becoming more used to him being gone now, which is good, but she's still very clingy and emotional. 
Both my girls are emotional.
And suffering from depression that I'm not quite sure how to combat at this time. Especially since I can't drive and hardly walk or play or do anything. 
I do read to them a lot and encourage their cute picture drawing and have them in dance class and hopefully starting music classes soon. 
So I'm doing the best I can with what I've got.


I'm still living at my parents home and they're pretty much all that I have family-wise that's been supportive to me and my girls. 
My ward has been WONDERFUL, too! They've taken the girls so much to help and it's so wonderful and the girls love it and need it!


So there's the update for you.
NO we don't know if we're going to Korea yet. Apparently we were misinformed of being approved to go over there. WE HAVE NOT. It's NOT been approved and they're not any where near approving it either. So we're just sitting here frustrated beyond words and Tyler's lonely without us and depressed and everything else. I pray he clings to the Church and it's members while there. They'll be a huge support and blessing in his life. 


Please pray for us. We need the prayers again, very desperately. 
I cannot divulge everything on here, but I shared quite a bit already and try as I may to be positive and count my blessings every single day, life pretty much is the pits right now.


Thanks for reading another novel by me, if you read it. 

Life Won't Stop :)

So Lacie has her first loose tooth!! One of her little bottom teeth is very loose and the adult tooth is already coming out behind it. Yikes! You can also see the second adult tooth trying to push out next to it, and BOY are they crooked! Poor girl! Her baby teeth are PERFECT. They're pearly white, perfectly straight, and healthy! Now her new adult teeth are sure to be all crooked. But what can you expect with both parents having crooked teeth? haha.
She's in First Grade now and I cannot believe it! It's like it never quite sinks in how old my Lacie is getting. She's in school all day long now and I sure do miss her. But it's also nice cuz it gives me a little break to get a little more done during the day. 
I was going to sign Sophie up for preschool but I just couldn't swallow paying so much money just to send her away and have someone else do for her what I should be doing, ya know? Maybe when she's Lacie's age she'll go to school, but for now she's happy being home with mommy and grandma.
I did sign the girls up for their very first dance class!!!! I'm SO excited! I've wanted to do this since I first found out I was having a girl. Seriously! This class teaches mostly Jazz but also a little Tumbling and Ballet and also Voice! I'm THRILLED. I've been looking for singing lessons/classes for my girls everywhere! They only go once a week, but that's plenty for now :). Next I need to figure out swimming lessons lol.


We've been LOVING having Skype!! Holy cow it's such a wonderful blessing having such advanced technology! If it wasn't for Skype we'd never get to talk and I don't even have an address to write to him so we'd have NO communication at all going on right now. So I'm SUPER grateful for Skype right now! 
Of course Tyler's hours are 15 ahead of us, so trying to find a convenient time to talk to him is very, very difficult! He's asleep when I'm up and we're sleeping when he's up, or he's gone in his boring briefings for Inprocessing required by the Army during the day. *sigh*. And life goes on, right? 


Once again our effort at trying to get pregnant has failed. I guess the Lord doesn't want to send more of His children down yet. It's not the right time, or place, either. But who knows, maybe there's a child waiting for adoption somewhere eh? That would be cool!


The paperwork and extra work I have to do now is just piling up and it's an enormous amount. It's so huge that it's intimidating me so it's been a little difficult to completely delve into it. My brain just can't concentrate like it used to and right now I've been mostly thinking about us going to Korea to join Tyler there. It's kinda consumed me, but I gotta just relax and completely trust in the Lord, ya know? Yeah, there might be evil men that do things to keep us from going over there, that's their choice and God can't force anybody, but for now I KNOW it's right for us to join him, it's just a matter of being patient and having faith and hope, and pulling the right strings. 
Tyler's really anxious to get with his Unit and meet his Sponsor. I really hope things go smoothly for him there. So far they have, so that's a good sign. He was SO stressed about it all working out but now it seems to be so he can relax a little. 


So life won't stop moving along even though things aren't exactly where we want them, and our kids keep growing up even though we don't want them to, not yet anyway. I wish I had more time with them while they're little. Before we know it they're grown and I wonder if we've taught them well enough, after all, it's a HUGE responsibility to teach our children the way they should go and how they should believe and hopefully they'll choose the right thanks to our teachings and examples. I do worry about this enough to remember to teach my children the Gospel and read the Scriptures to them and pray with them daily and take them to Church and sing Primary songs with them and more. 
Okay enough rambling. This is longer than I meant it to be. As usual. :)

Life Is No Party

I know that there are some of you that simply do not understand sharing feelings online. Here's why I do it. 1. I feel it has the potential to reach others out there who need it; it will help them 2. it helps me feel better 3. it's good for others to hear what others are feeling and going through so that they know that nobody is a robot and we all have feelings and deserve compassion and empathy. So if you do not like reading about my "feelings" then just stop and please, no more condescending, "well-meaning", critical and judgmental emails and comments to me. Just bug off if you don't like it. 

Okay now that I got that out I can go on :)

Our trip home from Virginia was not without a few bumps and adventures on the way. It took us 4 days to get home. That's what happens when you have Buddy Passes. They're so unreliable. But on top of those nasty things, the Army messed up with Tyler's paperwork so made us stay a day over. Civvies who do the paperwork don't ever go above and beyond nor do they act like they care that they're messing around with people's LIVES and families here. So it cost us SO much money. We had to change flights, add hotels and car rental days, food, gas, etc. It was horrible on our wallet and our psyches, but it was good, so good, to be together for those days. I just feel bad that it robbed our children of those days with their father. But I suppose everything happens for a reason. 
We had many wonderful people step up and offer to help us find a way home. It was a miracle how things worked out. My mom got busy notifying her many email groups of our situation and many, many people jumped to our aid!! We're eternally grateful to these people who helped! Tyler's sister helped fly us home, too, when our Buddy Passes didn't work. 
We went from Virginia to Boston, Boston to Las Vegas, Las Vegas to Salt Lake City. We stayed in Boston for a whole day and night and WOW it was an amazing place! We were right down-town historical Boston. We stayed at the oldest running hotel in the country and it was surreal for us. Cost us a pretty penny, though, but we had no other choice unless we wanted to sleep on the dirty streets and possibly get mugged lol. We also got to stay the night in Vegas at a member's home. They fed us and took such good care of us! Like a 5-star hotel!! They wanted to pay our way home but Tyler's sister beat them to it. They were such a wonderful couple!

Since we've been home, we've been able to do a lot of things together as a family. We've seen some movies, gone to Trafalga for bumper cars, carnival rides, XD theatre, arcade games, and more. It was a blast! We also got to go to Utah's Hogle Zoo. That was so fun! The girls had so much fun there! And best of all we've been to the Temple several times to help do one of my best friend's family Temple work. It was AMAZING and truly the work of God.
Besides having to deal with unecessary and exaggerated drama, things were really, really good! And it went by too fast. Of course. 

Tyler leaves today for South Korea. We are not happy. We are dreading the likelihood that our family will be split apart for TWO YEARS!!!!!!
There are many who are trying to stay positive for us, which we appreciate, but I think we deserve to cry about it, too. It's all very hard and discouraging. It's almost too much to bear.
Tonight so far we've been crying. There's no party going on over here! Just heartache, despair, sorrow, fear, hope, sadness, anger, confusion, humbleness, prayers, and more.
The girls beg Tyler to stay home.
I cannot believe he's leaving already, and for so very long!

You know, it's one thing to have a family member or close friend go away for a while, but when it's YOUR SPOUSE it's waaaaay different. We're used to sleeping in bed next to each other, our intimacy, being best friends, doing everything together, and experiencing everything in life together. Now being forced apart is torturous.
People say "I could never do that". well, neither can we. But we don't have a choice so we deal with it. Other people say "I know how you feel. My husband has gone on business trips for x amount of time" You can know a tiny bit, but really not as much. Being gone for weeks at a time vs months at a time..... um, big difference. Much harder. My mom can't even bear to think about what it'd feel like to have my dad gone for 6 months to 2 years. It's just too much, ya know?

What gets me even more upset than anything is knowing there are people out there that do not apreciate or support our soldiers and families. It makes me SICK. How ungrateful and selfish and self-centered are these people!! Do you even realize the HUGE SACRIFICE our family is going through and other families like ours? Do you understand? Do you care? Are you capable of having feeling for someone else's situation besides your own? 
Right now we both feel like there are some that are only thinking of how this is affecting them and not us. He feels slightly smothered. But meh, what can ya do, right?

So Tyler leaves today. He flies to VA, then from VA to Detroit, then Detroit to we think Tokyo for a gas-stop, then to Seoul Korea where he'll get a bus ticket for a 4 hour ride to Camp Carroll for inprocessing. We have no idea where he'll go after that and we have no idea if we'll get to come over later to join him or not.
You know, him doing this is better than serving a mission. 1. he's safer 2. he can use skype 3. he can use phones whenever not just twice a year 4. he can come home to visit 1-2 a year 5. he's getting paid for it. It's not worse than a mission as some seem to think lol.

Anyway, this time Tyler leaving is a lot harder than the first time. It's WAY harder. And it's making us both sick. I feel bad for both my girls and for us. Our situation isn't one that anybody can be jealous of, that's for sure, BUT, our marriage is soooo strong and our family so tight! The Lord has greatly blessed us and kept us and he's blessed our family with His Spirit and I KNOW that because of our obedience to Him that we've been blessed. It's almost as if God has been carrying us through all of this.

Honestly, we are not your average military family. It seems as if other military families handle this just fine and don't mind being apart so much. But with us it's pure torture and we hate every minute of it, BUT, we know it's right, we know it's what the Lord wants of us, of Tyler. So, we "go and do as the Lord doth command" (1 Nephi 3:7). 

Please, if you will, pray that we'll be able to join Tyler in Korea soon! And pray that we're all kept safe and strong!
Thank you for all your support!

And thank you mom and dad for all the sacrifices you have made for us! For the money you've given us, the home to live in, the food, the spirituality we've needed, the support, and more. You haven't been intrusive or manipulative, you haven't been worrying about your feelings above ours, and you've been a huge blessing to us, being an answer to many prayers! I know Heavenly Father has blessed you for it and will continue to do so. 
And thank you to our best friends who have stood by our side through it all! Through the ups and downs, and for your support and encouragement, for your listening ear and more. 
And thanks to all other family and friends who have been here for us, supported us, blessed us, prayed for us, helped us, encouraged us, loved us both, accepted us both. You support me, you support Tyler and if you support Tyler you support me. We are ONE. :)

okay, now I better get off so I can supposedly and maybe get some sleep.

Feeling Anxious

Time is getting closer and closer to when I get to go get Tyler and bring him home. I WAS looking forward to having just our family at the airport to welcome him home, give us a few moments alone before everybody else.... but that's not going to happen now. It was going to be a surprise for my girls and them alone. I feel so bad for my little girls, their moment is going to be stolen from them.


I cannot wait to have my husband home again, with our family. It feels so unnatural to not have him with us as a family. The girls and I and he have all suffered being apart. I pray God allows us to be together for the next while, even if it's in Korea. 


Anyway, my brother Erik wrote something a while ago that my sister Andrea came across and I really wanted to share it on here. It's profound, true, and I wish that not only would members really read this and understand it, but that other people of other faiths would, too.


For some strange reason, members/Mormons identify prosperity with righteousness. They want to prove they are righteous by being wealthy. This is a mistake. If anyone really believes that blessedness in its fullest sense can be measured in dollars and cents, he is wrong.

On the other hand, the promise remains true that if we keep the commandments of God, if we are generous, if we care about others, if we don't trust in riches, if we are willing to consecrate in spirit--eventually all we possess--then we will be magnified and will have sufficientfor our needs. 

What you want is not always what you need. 


So there ya go. 


Now to get back to my many, huge chores. They sure feel mountainous right now. 
I'm still praying for our family to be together in South Korea. I hope you guys are praying for us, too.

Tyler at Advanced Individual Training (AIT) AND MIRACLES!!

Tyler is having an interesting time at AIT right now. Very interesting. Actually, he put it this way: "It SUCKS. I hate it! I want to come home!" Of course it's only his first week and the first week at BCT he hated it there, too, but in the end loved it and thanked his Drill Sergeants. 
He had amazing training at Ft Knox. One of the best Basic Training places you can go to in the U.S. Army. Discipline and honor, exactness and integrity, and much more, are instilled in the soldiers at Fort Knox during BCT (Basic Combat Training). 
Tyler learned how to be a REAL soldier there. He's really seeing a difference between the soldiers who were trained elsewhere compared to his battle buddies trained at Ft Knox, and honestly it's really frustrating him. He takes what he does very seriously, as I believe he should, and he feels that many other soldiers do not. Just like in the "real" world, there are soldiers that just refuse to practice self-control and discipline, respect and honor, integrity and responsibility. When one person falls out or goes AWOL or disrespects the rules or their command, they not only get themselves into serious trouble, but their Platoon, and sometimes even their entire Unit or Company.
The other night one of the Sergeants supposedly went into all of the barracks while the soldiers slept and if ANY electronics were left out or their lockers left unlocked these electronics found were taken. So far everything has been returned BUT the cell phones. 
So, Tyler is TICKED. His cell phone was taken.
He was placed in the old barracks after they were told they'd be staying in the new barracks. The thing that sucks about the old ones are not only are the roaches really big, bad and ugly, but they have no internet. Tyler's laptop sits mostly unused because of this. And now that his cell phone is gone, too, almost no communication is possible. He's lucky to have made a few good friends at BCT that are with him at AIT that let him use their phone for a few minutes at night to update me or vent to me. I love talking to Tyler, even when he's frustrated :D. 
He has asked for prayers to help him get through this, though. He's feeling frustrated and wishing he wasn't there right now. He's wishing he'd chosen Infantry instead of Cooking, and honestly I don't blame him at all. He'd be great at it. But of course he's great at cooking, too!


Today he got to cook! :D He made a Chef's salad and potatoe salad and learned how to make a rose out of tomatoes, I believe. He's an amazing artist so I'm sure his food designs will look awesome! I'm so proud of him! He's just so rad!
He wears a chef's hat, the big, tall white ones, and a chef's coat. I wish I could see him!!!


Now about the miracles!!


I already mentioned the miracle of being able to drive Tyler to AIT, but I must also mention that a very good friend of mine is helping me get to see Tyler over the 4th of July weekend. I can barely contain myself for the excitement from spilling over!!! :D (not sure if that sentence made sense, it's midnight and I'm on pain killers lol). Anyway, another miracle is how quickly I was able to find help from family and friend to take my girlies while I will be away. Thank you SO MUCH Michelle and Mom & Dad Frampton!!! You guys are the BOMB!! :D hahaha. They pulled through right away and I'm just so grateful because both of these people are going through some very hard trials right now and are greatly sacrificing for Tyler and I so that we can be together.
Heavenly Father knows Tyler and I NEED this time together. He's helped every piece fall into place for this to happen. 


Also, last night, my mom, dad and I walked to their church so that I could get a Father's Blessing from my dad and some people, who I won't mention here, were asked to watch my girls for me while we were gone. Well..... Sophie was not noticed when she slipped out the door to "follow mommy". We never saw her coming after us. We got to the church and while inside, before the blessing, we heard somebody come in through the church doors and were walking around the foyer sounding a little confused. We assumed it was guys coming to play basketball, like usual, when we heard a little girl's voice. My dad felt to open the office door and see what was going on when we saw Sophie with red little eyes there and two strangers with her. They said they were driving by and saw Sophie wandering the sidewalk crying. She directed them to the church where they came because there was a light on.
Here's the interesting thing about this. My mom doesn't normally leave the foyer light on, but for some reason she felt she ought to. AND, the biggest part of this that was complete proof to my parents and I that God is VERY mindful of my family is that THE CHURCH DOORS WERE LOCKED. There should have been NO possible way for this couple to be able to come in those doors. The Church keeps everything very well sealed, locked and protected. And it's electronically done somehow with the church doors. 
If they couldn't have entered the building they would probably have called the police wondering to whom this little 4 yr old girls belonged to. Sophie's small for her age and she looks 3 and sometimes 2 to most people. By a miracle they stopped and picked her up and took her to the Church, opened locked doors, and brought her straight to me. 


I have been thanking my Heavenly Father since then for all these miracles. 


Tyler and I have been through A LOT. I mean  A  L O T.  I know not as much as most people. But for us, it's been a huge burden. We were tempted with many things, including giving up, but we never did. 
We remained faithful to God and His Church; to our testimonies. We remained faithful to each other and to the Covenants we have made with each other and with God. We have persevered, unshaken, immovable, despite all the many different trials and hardships we have been through. We have been persecuted, judged, dismissed, denied, tried, tested, and more, even from those who should've/could've been the best support for us (including the economy hahaha), and have not given up or blamed God. We knew that what we've been going through has been required of us. 


We both know that in order to appreciate and know the sweet, we must know the bitter.


I know that the bitterness in life has not finished with us. There will be more to come. But I am grateful for this! It has given us experiences for our good, for our learning, and for our happiness. We more appreciate the blessings and miracles when they come and recognize them as such when we remain humble, accepting the trials God gives us knowing that they are helping us, not hindering us, and that they are not punishments, but blessings to help us grow and become more and more like God every day. 
I know that there are two ways to look at things in this life as they come: 1. bitterly, resentfully, angrily, hatefully, disgustedly, and come out worse people. 2. gratefully, humbly, teachable, happily, prayerfully, faithfully, and come out strong and experienced, eyes open wide, hearts softened, and ears ready to hear what God has to teach us. 


I pray that we continue faithfully, despite all the trials we are continually going through, and all the trials we have yet to face. 
Just keep up your prayers for us as we keep up our prayers for you.


Thank you, Heavenly Father, for EVERYthing. 

GREAT BLESSINGS & SEEING HIM SOON!!!!!!!

WOW time is racing by!!! And so many great things are finally happening! 

After years of hard times we are finally seeing some wonderful blessings. After the trial of your Faith comes the blessings. 

Of course I'm sure we're not done with our fair share of trials, but at least right now we have many obvious blessings to count!

For one, MY DAD GOT A JOB!!!!!!! After nearly TWO YEARS without a job and earnestly seeking one out, working as hard as he could, and remaining FAITHFUL all the hard work and patience and faithfulness has paid off!! My dad got a good job working for a great company, with insurance included!! It is a very happy time!

Also, Tyler is doing extremely well!

He baptized a guy named "Big" Simmons in his Platoon and it was the second most spiritual experience for him in his life that he can remember (besides me, he said). He really feels the Lord is greatly blessing us and I totally agree! I feel the same way!

He finished all his training at BCT and finished at 85% which is really good! His Drill Sergeants don't ever say anything mean or bad to him, they like him. He's earned their respect. I'm not surprised :D.

His graduation is NEXT WEEK!!!!!

I KNEW it was right for the girls and I to go, and even my two brothers Josh & Dan, and I prayed to Heavenly Father after doing everything in my power to get there and said, "I feel it's right, I cannot do any more and right now as it stands it's impossible for us to get there without Your help. I leave it in Your hands". The very next day I got two messages from God-send Angels who made it possible for us to get out there and back home!!! It was a MIRACLE. And I did pray for a miracle!!

Now the rest of the expenses are just outrageous! But we'll be okay! I found the best bargains out there and thanks to my military discount it's saved us a few hundred dollars. I'M SOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We leave June 2nd, Wednesday at 9:00am and get back home on June 5th, 6:30pm. I'm so excited just for the trip alone that the prospect of seeing Tyler just makes the entire thing pure HEAVEN. 

I hope I have the strength in me to say goodbye to him again when that time comes after 7 very short hours with him!

Anyway, I am so very, very grateful that despite all the trials and sickness, hardships, discouragements, and more, that I and my family remained faithful! I am convinced that God blesses those who are righteous. Of course in HIS own time.

So keep the Faith, please!!! DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!! 

We didn't!!!!! :D 

TWO WEEKS!!!!!

Exactly TWO WEEKS from TODAY I will see my Knight in Shining Armour! Okay, not SHINING armor, or even armor for that matter, more like my Knight in Green Uniform!!! :D
I am so in love with my husband; it's an awesome feeling! 
He's doing really well! Of course, of course.
I did hear that he baptized somebody in his Platoon!!!!! How awesome is that??? I was so happy to hear this! I'm hoping he'll fill me in on the details about that soon. He's truly where he's supposed to be right now, that's for sure!


I had to make some phone calls to get some people's attention and was very happy that my Home Teachers came over to visit me today! I even got a blessing that gave me peace and comfort, just what I needed!
I cannot believe the emotional roller coaster I'm on all the time! And my emotions are always so close to my skin now. I cry over nearly everything! I was never like this before, so it's strange. I'm thinking it'll pass, or hoping it will, but come to think of it, uh, I don't think it ever will!!


I'm part of an Army Wife forum online and it's been a LIFE SAVER!!!! I'm not the only one that's lost friends! Amazing how friends just start to disappear or completely blow up in your face with complete lack of compassion when your spouse joins in the Army and is GONE. WOW. I think every spouse on this forum has had at the very least one friend that grew cold and not understanding and vacated the friendship, so in that aspect I don't feel alone. I'm just incredibly disappointed that I lost a certain friend I never expected to lose, EVER. They just grew cold, callous, lacked compassion.... it's very painful to even think about so I can usually push it out of my mind and not dwell on it. This person lost a very, very good friend in me, that I do know, and one day they will greatly regret it. If they don't, they're blind and I feel sorry for them. Not to sound all cocky or anything, but I was a super good friend. Trust me on that. Of course they might say otherwise now cuz they want to be the victim HA HA. Weird how people can turn things around on you, huh? I get personally attacked and belittled and suddenly the attacker is the victim. LOL.
Anyway!!!!! I am just so happy I'm part of this forum!! We can ask anything we want, say anything we want (of course within reason lol) and everybody is super supportive!! It's like a cyber shoulder to cry on!! I LOVE it!!


So in TWO WEEKS!!!! I cannot believe it!!! Right now, though, I'm feeling overly anxious and stressed about finding a way to get out there to Tyler's graduation!! Because I found out so late what the schedule was I couldn't book plane tickets early enough so now they're around $3,000.00 for my two brothers, myself, and my daughters, to go. My parents will pay for my brothers, but I have to book the tickets. IMPOSSIBLE. I had saved up 1300.00 for ALL of the travel expenses. This includes plane, car rental, gasoline, everything! Even hotel!! YIKES!!! I do NOT have it, and I really feel that me and my daughters BOTH have to go! I will not leave the girls home. People who say "go by yourself" cannot understand what that would do to my children and their father. It would be WRONG of me to do this. People who know us well will agree, too. My girl's are DADDY'S GIRLS, through and through! And he's so attached to them, too. The HARDEST part for him while being at BCT was not the hard work but being away from me and our little girls. It was almost too much for him; for us! 


So anyway, I'm really struggling on trying to figure out a way to see my husband in honor of his completing Basic Training. I've had several people say that they think people should donate money to help us get there, that it's the least people could do since Tyler's serving our country and we're sacrificing A LOT. But what can ya do?? Absolutely nothing. People love their money too much. lol.
I really am praying for a miracle, though! I am praying that I can either find an amazing deal or, something!! I just don't know what else to do!! 


I am just SOOOOOOO EXCITED that I'll be seeing him in exactly TWO WEEKS!!!!! Of course, it will only be for about 7 hours, unless I get permission to drive him to AIT early the next morning. It's still not 100% sure, but about 90% sure! :D
Okay, time to stop. I feel like I'm being too random and I'm sure I said something in here that annoyed somebody. Hard not to do that. Actually, impossible not to annoy SOMEONE, isn't it? lol


Pray we have a miracle!!!!! 

His Grad Packet came!! And I'm proud of my progress!! :)

So, I finally got Tyler's graduation packet in the mail!!!! I was sooo excited! I had the letter with the directions/instruction on it that I have to present when I get there to get in. Cool beans huh?
So I made reservations for a cheap inn that's 1/2 mile away from the base and made reservations for a car, too. I am still waiting to hear if I can take him to AIT or not before I can purchase plane tickets. I'm not sure how to do it with military discounts for my daughters and I and one civi one for maybe my little brother and get us on the same flight and into seats next to each other. argh! Hopefully I can call someone to figure that nonsense out lol.
So I am really proud of myself! Satan, or to be more "politically correct", the Adversary, has been throwing some major curve-balls at me, and it's been through many different sources, and I have come out on top! The most hurtful ones that have thrown me for complete loops have been through people who THINK they are being helpful when in fact they are being extremely detrimental to my happiness and progress; they are completely not supportive yet do not see themselves as being such. Their demeaning, negative, berating comments to me have left me completely stunned and shocked and deeply hurt. They might as well gut me and stomp on my guts and call me the biggest loser that ever slimed across the earth because I don't act the way THEY think I should be, or at least they ASSUME I'm acting a certain way when I'm not. 
I know I'm not making much sense there. I'm trying to be as vague as possible so that I don't give away who these people are or exactly what they said to me. Let's just say that they've been listening to the wrong source and they really and truly believe they were listening to the good source, or the Spirit of God. They were not. And I know this. The Spirit has born witness to me of this and has blessed me with a huge amount of strength and perseverance and peace, and even a little numbness to get past these negative influences in my life. These experiences have been very painful and like a huge big neon sign saying "here are your TRUE friends that LOVE you unconditionally and have Christ-like love and compassion and charity for you, despite your weaknesses, and here are those who are not!". And also through this some of my very best friends have come forward! They have followed promptings from the Spirit which have lead them to help me in many different ways. These people have been friends, acquaintances, and relatives alike. Thank you so much for your angelic support! Your love, acceptance, and willingness to help and support me and my family has been a great blessing to us! I know God will bless you for your efforts!!
Anyway, so I'm proud of myself for doing as well as I have been considering everything we've been through lately. Sophie's badly broken foot, her hand being smashed (almost broke her fingers), my health problems that landed me in the ER and have been hard to deal with since, and more I cannot mention here.
I also have stuck strictly to my diet. I have not wavered one bit. No cheating at all!! I feel really good about myself because of this. I have found such inner strength that I forgot I had! I have lost about 40 lbs now altogether! Not bad huh? I've dropped 4 sizes! I work out twice a week at least, also.
I have been able to attend the Temple, go to church every week (even when I am sick), read the scriptures, pray, clean some of the house hahaha, take care of my beautiful daughters, and have been starting to organize some things that have needed attention for some time now.
I am so very grateful for all the many blessings that I have in my life!! I know that the Lord is blessing Tyler and I for our faithfulness throughout all the trials we have had to go through. We are still being tried, but our Heavenly Father has made our burdens seem light, and we can more clearly see blessings now than before. I am extremely grateful for a steady income, NO chance of Tyler losing his job! And for benefits we so greatly needed. I am grateful for this awesome opportunity that my family has to be our own family unit when we move to wherever the Lord (through the Army) takes us. 
This has been VERY hard. One of the absolute hardest things I have ever had to do! And I cry for my babies and my husband. But I know that the Lord is mindful of me and my family and that He is taking very good care of us! 
Speaking of sad things. Just two things I'll mention here about the girls.
Lacie cried for TEN MINUTES in school today while her class made Father's Day cards. She then sang for her a class a song about daddy that she made up. Her teacher said it was very sweet and touching. My poor little Lacie!! She can't forget saying goodbye to daddy in the hotel the last night we saw him. She can't get over that. But I'm very glad that she can cry about it. She feels much better afterwards.
Sophie got all dressed up today and came up to me and said "I am ready to go see daddy now. Let's go get in the airplane". She was ready to go! She got her shoes on that she said daddy said she could wear, got her coat, and went to the front door and opened it. Broke my heart!!! She then called grandma Pearson and told her that we are going to the airplane now to go see daddy. My poor little girls!
I try my best to keep a good attitude, a happy face, and not get depressed in front of the girls. I do very well at this I think. At least I give it my very best. I talk to the girls about what daddy is doing and that he loves them and misses them and wants to be with them so much, but he has to work so hard for us and I tell them that daddy is a real hero and is a real man and is a very good man and we are so lucky to have him to take such good care of us and that we'll see him soon. They tell people now that daddy is a good man and a hero. It's so cute!!
Okay, this is getting really long and it's now 2:45 am. I wish I could sleep at night! I need a new CPAP face mask and a new mattress!! LOL
Thanks to everyone for your love, help, prayers, support, compassion, encouragement, charity, and so forth! We need it and we appreciate it so much! Know that whatever efforts you make in our behalf you are blessed for! They do not go unnoticed!! Also, whatever you do for the "least of these" you've done it unto God. Don't forget that!
We love you!!!

Losing More Weight! And other thoughts and updates

I am so proud of myself for sticking to this diet! It's been very difficult, but so worth it so far!! I've lost a total of 30 lbs now!!! I'm feeling so good!
The pain I have hasn't gone away. Some days are worse than others, but I'm getting through.
Tyler called home on Saturday and we talked for 3 1/2 minutes. Hardly any time at all!! But it was really good to hear his voice! I ended up crying at the end of the call and tried to mask it from him. Not sure if I succeeded or not, but I think I did. The girls got to say hi to him for a minute and it made him emotional, too. Sophie said, "See you tomorrow, dad!" It was sad! She's really having a hard time with it! She's having issues with potty-trained stuff and her pacifier, sleeping, eating, everything! Sometimes my girls really act up or get overly-emotional; I wish everyone would realize and understand why and be patient with them. Lots of people are, thank goodness. Her primary teachers were so good with her today! They said she did wonderful in class and when I picked her up she was so happy! When I'd dropped her off she clung to me and withdrew inside again, broke my heart! I know people don't "approve" of her pacifier, but too bad, I'm her mom and I know it's something she needs right now. She needs as much comfort as she can get and I see no reason to tear her away from things like this while her daddy is gone. She's having a very difficult time coping with it.
Mother's Day is coming up! I'm very grateful for my parents because they're going to take my girls out shopping for me! That makes me so happy because I was feeling really bad that Mother's Day wouldn't be Mother's Day for me at all since Tyler's gone and nobody thinks about single mothers on that day so they get over-looked. Okay not nobody thinks about them, but it has appeared that way to me, unfortunately. My girls are too young to know when the day is here and too young to go shopping for me, etc. I am really hoping Tyler can call home that day! It's such a special day I think!
Right now I've been needing some ME time. Time to just do what I want to do. I'm not as good as some mothers that can just go and go and go and never have "me" time. I just can't do it. It helps me to have breaks where I can think and recharge my batteries, so to speak.
During this time while Tyler's been gone I've been blessed with strength from Heavenly Father that I wouldn't have had on my own, no matter what. But everybody has their limits. I don't have anybody to come home to at night and nobody to confide in to about my deepest feelings and thoughts like I used to. I really feel for single mothers. I think people are unfair to them for the most part, and I feel that their lot is much harder than normal. 
I'm so glad we could make it to church today. It was really nice to go and feel the Spirit and renew it for me and my little girls. It's so peaceful! Tyler's information was in our ward's announcement paper handed out in Sacrament Meeting. It was so cool to see that!! I wish they'd give me the opportunity to say how he's doing in Relief Society like the moms of missionaries get to. Oh well. It's okay. 
So Tyler's graduation is exactly one month from today, Monday! (when I say we went to church TODAY I mean yesterday lol). I cannot believe it!! I hope to get his BCT Graduation invitation soon and the details so I can book plane tickets and rent a car. I'm praying and hoping that we can drive him to AIT in VA. I cannot book or plan anything until 2 weeks or less before his graduation. It's frustrating having to wait! But that's the military's slogan: hurry up and wait! lol
I've been meeting lots of military spouses online and I'm loving it! What support!! We understand each other like nobody else does and it's so wonderful!! 
I just found out "today" that one of my friends passed away yesterday. It was so shocking and upsetting to me! She was such a sweet and good person! She would write me emails of encouragement, support and love. She was so charitable! I will really, really miss her!! 
Lacie graduates from Kindergarten at the end of this month! I cannot believe it!! My baby is growing up and I hate it and love it at the same time. I cannot wait for this Summer! I have so many plans and ideas for me and the girls while Tyler is gone and I'm really really hoping I can do all of it! I don't want to regret anything and I want to make good memories and spend time with friends and family as much as possible since we'll be moving soon and be GONE! My schedule has been busy, but now that my school is over with it's been a little better. I just cannot wait until Lacie's out of school, then I'll have even more time!
Tyler's doing really good. Homesick, of course, but doing well! He's now the Platoon's designated artist! He charges $5 bucks per rose he draws on envelopes for soldiers writing home and charges more for custom drawings. He's designing and drawing a mural for his Platoon I think for graduation! I'm so proud of him!!!!
He's also got perfect marks on shooting so far! Wow he's so amazing!!
Today while at church it hit me that Tyler REALLY loves me! He really loves me and our girls so much! Look what he's doing for us!! What a sacrifice to leave your family 24/7 for MONTHS to provide for them!! He didn't insist on me going beyond my abilities and getting a job to support our family; he didn't expect it, either. He hated it when I worked and wanted me home raising his children, where I should be. I realize that sometimes moms HAVE to work. My best friends have to work and I feel for them  because their hearts are in their homes where they know they ought to be but cannot be. I pray for them. One day they will be home again with their children! Don't lose hope!! I am sooo grateful for Tyler's hard work and sacrifice for our family! He's one amazing man and I'm one lucky woman to have him!!! 
I cannot wait to see him and tell him myself how I feel, face-to-face!
Now I hope to get some sleep. I have a couple of busy days, or a busy week, ahead of me!

Losing Weight! Feeling Great! (Besides one small hiccup)

So guess what? I'm losing weight! I've come down from a size 16 to a size 12!!! I'm so proud of myself; I'm so happy!! Have my health problems gone away or gotten better since I've lost weight like many thought would happen? NO!!! I told my my weight has absolutely nothing to do with the diseases I have. Unfortunately I still suffer from those problems, EXCEPT, my acid reflux has lessened, and obviously it's cuz I'm not as fat! LOL.

I've been eating soooo much better!! It's been one of the HARDEST things I've had to do since my mission, on this scale of self-control. I don't over-indulge AT ALL. I follow my diet very strictly and I feel energetic, happier, and I get more done. As I come off this strict diet I will follow the plan given to me and do it very gradually, slowly adding more things here and there, but still sticking to a GOOD diet, a healthy one!
If you would only practice self-control with your diet you will not only feel better, but you'll probably lose that weight you've been wanting to get rid of and look better, too!!
I don't eat ANY sugar, oils & fats, carbs & starches, pop, chocolate, etc. I just eat simple, healthy food. Fruits, veggies, whole grain, protein, and LOTS of water! It's been wonderful! Sometimes I have a bit of cottage cheese here and there, too, for my dairy. 

Like I mentioned above, my health issues haven't gone away, unfortunately. I had quite the experience this week that I don't want to go through again but I don't doubt that I will.
I experienced pain like I was in full-blown labor and it came on quite suddenly and I could not even take ONE STEP, I could barely sit, I couldn't move. It was HORRIBLE!! It made me really nauseous, tired, sick, and just plain awful! My sister and brothers were life-savors!!! My dad took me to the ER and they did a full check on me and a C-scan, my mom watched my girls and took them home to bed while waiting, and the results came back that I'd had a large cyst rupture. My abdomen was full of fluid, as in blood, and tissue. They at first thought it was my appendix. Not fun!! I was pumped full of morphine and for 2-3 days afterwords I had migraines and headaches thanks to those pain meds. I've been on Lortab since because of the pain that's followed this ordeal. Trust me, it's BAD pain!! No exaggerations here!! lol

Tyler's doing really well at BCT! He's doing EXCELLENT with his shooting, never missing a shot!! If he continues doing so well they'll recognize him at BCT Graduation for his Marksmanship skills and that's soooooo exciting and cool to me!! He's pushing his hardest, doing his best, and coming out on top! He's working so hard and he's providing for his family and I'm SO PROUD OF HIM!!!! I love him with all of my heart and I really feel that God knew what He was doing when he put us two together! I really feel that we boost each other up and we're so patient with each other and compliment each other. I am SO SO SO SO SO excited to go see him at his BCT Graduation!!! I hope I can have alone time with him, and that our little family can be together, ALONE. It's been so long since he left, well, at least it feels that way to us!! We literally take it one day at a time!

The girls are doing okay. Sophie had to get another cast on her broken foot since after taking off the first one and she wouldn't/couldn't walk on it they did another x-ray and saw SOME new bone growth but not quite enough. I could still clearly see where the break was, and it looked like a clean break to me, not a green-stick fracture like the ER doc had told me. Anyway, she went from a purple and green cast (for Tinkerbell) to a bright pink cast. She's so cute with it! What a trooper! She even runs with it and it's so cute! My sister called her a "gimp" and I thought it was so cute and funny! lol

Speaking of my sister, she's Andrea Pearson and we're SO EXCITED for her!! Her first book of a series of 6 books, is coming out on July 6th across the country! It's call The Key of Kilenya! I'm so proud of her!!!!

Okay, I'd better end this. It's coming out a LOT longer than I'd anticipated!! lol

Keep praying for us.... we DO need prayers, take my word for it! And thank you SO much to all our friends and family that have been such huge help and support for us!!!! God will bless you for what you do, because whatever you do for others you are doing for God.

I LOVE Easter & General Conference!!! (Missing Tyler, Feeling Overwhelmed).

I am happy that Easter is here. It's one of my most favorite holidays. I love the bright and happy pastel colors. I love the egg-hunting and candy, of course, and the new dresses and dressing up all pretty. But the part that I love the absolute most is that it's Christ's true birthday and his Resurrection. It reminds me of Springtime, renewal, a new year, life, beauty, and a happy, bright, celestial place. It's the exact opposite of Halloween, and what's funny about that for me is that Halloween is tied with Easter for me with favorite holiday!! haha. Next comes Christmas for me. I know, I'm weird. :) lol
Before Tyler left he and I picked out the girl's Easter dresses, shoes, and hair stuff so I can make their hair things like I did last year and I think the year before, too. I love making things, I feel so proud of my creations when they're done, especially when they're for my loved ones, whoever they may be.
It's also my friend's deceiced baby's 4th birthday today, too. I sure miss that little Angel! She'd sure cheer me up right now, and I could sure use it! I miss you Allie! Happy Birthday!

I'm feeling so sad tonight. I think it's so much harder because it's General Conference weekend and my favorite holiday weekend and Tyler and I always love this time of year and have a lot of fun together. It's like missing Christmas for me not having him here.
It's been 2 weeks now!!! Oh man I miss him, my heart aches. I've been a little emotional today. Luckily no out-of-control crying or anything, but Sophie could tell I was sad. She's very intuitive like that. She told me if I cry in the car then she'll sing a happy song to help me feel better. It was really sweet.
Listening to Elder Holland's talk in the afternoon really kicked off the emotion for me. It was about our sacred relationships with our spouses, staying away from porn, and running away from enticing and tempting situations that could potentially harm our relationships. If we have a relationship with the opposite sex that coule be even remotely inappropriate or even viewed as such we should sever that emmediately, etc., etc. I don't have issues like that, thank Heavens! I view my marriage with Tyler as highly sacred and special and I work very hard at it every day. I work very hard at making him happy and satisfied, loved, appreciated, uplifted, encouraged, accepted, and more. I work very hard at keeping the Covenants I've made with him and God every day, and I try my best not to disappoint either Tyler or God. I know I'm not perfect, and I need the Atonment just as much as everyone else does, but I know that I've done my best.
Knowing all this makes it that much harder being away from Tyler. It almost feels like a punishment being separated from him, and I know it's not from anything I've done wrong, so it's not a punishment of course, it's just a very hard requirement to go through.

Right now I'm watching Super Nanny while I put together the girl's Easter stuff. Might as well be doing something productive while doing something else productive, eh? haha. I'm totally multi-tasking, as mothers have to learn to do! Writing a blog, watching a beneficial show, and making things for my daughters. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself, huh?

I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed right now. I know that wives go without their husbands quite frequently, but how many of them have to go through every single item they own and either shred it, throw it out or give it away, or inventory it and organize it within a set time, plus keep the house clean, take care of kids, school and school work, and everything else mothers already have to do, plus replace daddy? UGH!! I can handle the basic stuff, better than I realized I could, but I have not been able to even crack open one box or open a closet to start the necessary sorting. I DO need help from anybody who is willing to give it! I cannot do everything, it's impossible. I wish that I had more support/help from others. My two sisters-in-laws, Andrea & Alicia, have been WONDERFUL. Alicia keeps me happily preocuppied to not be able to dwell on missing Tyler and Andrea takes wonderful care and love of my children while I do things I can't take my kids with me to. Thank you to both of you, if you read this!! Know I'll do the same for you any day!

Anyway, right now I'm praying that we can move out of this place. My landlady is not very honest and it's disappointing. Our neighborhood isn't safe and there's nobody for my kids to play with but either out-of-control children who are neglected and their parents are druggies and partiers, or children who, well, I won't say here. It's just not a good situation. But we've hardly been home anyway since Tyler's been gone, so I guess that doesn't matter right now. I do have a good babysitter for my children and the girls love it there, especially Lacie. I'm very happy for that.
Okay, I'm tired. Gotta get back to my project.
Good night, and please pray for us and Tyler.

A Mini Update..... he leaves in 13 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe how fast time is running by! My Tyler leaves in 13 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lacie and Sophie are being prepped by Tyler himself and they are sad. Sophie feels like he's leaving her because she was bad and Lacie's just distraught over the entire thing. She's a daddy's girl through and through and has been since day 1!!
I'm sincerely hoping that I can keep my girls busy and happy and satisfied with life while their daddy is gone.
Remember, he's been with all of us pretty much 24/7 since he lost his job over a year ago!!! This is going to be the exact opposite for us. Here 24/7, then gone 100%.
I have a lot of plans on how to keep us busy and happy and I really hope they can work out!
Money will be EXTREMELY tight but I am praying that creditors and doctors will work with us on payments so that I can afford to get the girls swimming lessons, maybe even dance or martial arts lessons. I think they'd be so happy to do something like that!
I want them to take piano lessons and I'd love to teach them both violin lessons. I'd have to rent the miniature violins, though, and that's 30.00 a month for the both of them. Well, that's what it used to be when I used to teach Lacie.

I have a wonderful ward member who is going to be watching Sophie for me during the day and getting Lacie to and from school. What an answer to prayers she was!!! And she has girls my girls' ages and they're in the same classes and everything. I'm so happy about that!!

I'm still trying to decide on going to school in the Summer. If I do I'll have to find another babysitter. I'd go for only 2 reasons: 1. my own thing away from home to keep myself busy in my own personal endeavors and 2. for the loan money. Yeah the money reason's not the best reason, but that money we could use to pay off a little more immediate and impatient debt and also to use so that we can fly to Tyler's basic training graduation in May or June sometime.

Right now we're trying to cut from our lives those that only have negative things to say and think about us. It's been very hard doing this because, unfortunately, some of them have been family. Here's what I said to one of our cousins last night: "They say that blood is thicker than water. But what if that blood is poisonous? Do you keep the poisonous blood or switch to pure water?" Honestly, what makes more sense? I'm pretty sure the "family" that have been giving us problems won't be reading this anyway, and we both have such huge families that almost none of you can even begin to guess who these people are. But just the same, I won't mention who they are, and it's not just been family. It's been "friends" and acquaintances. It's hurt, but it's been more painful to have these negative, self-righteous and judgmental people in our lives than cutting them out.

Okay, Tyler and I have had a few opportunities to go to the Temple together thanks to my parents!!! My parents are already super busy but they realize the importance for Tyler and I to have these times alone to go to the Temple and on dates and what-not. Also thanks to Michelle!! And to Destiny and sometimes Tyler's parents and other friends and family here and there who have let us leave our girls with them so that we can be together.
We're trying to create more memories to keep with us while we're separated.

Oh, and we got more ammo for both my guns :D hee hee. Cannot ever be too prepared, right?? Tyler wants to make sure I'm 100% set for while he's away and unable to physically protect us. Great thing is that I know we'll be protected. I do wish we lived in a better place, though! The neighborhood has been getting creepier all the time with the families moving out and single partiers moving in!

Okay, now I should get to bed. I have a test coming up, like usual, and we have more organizing, cleaning, errands and other important odds and ends to attend to. If we seem "out of it" or forgetful or untouchable don't think it's cuz we have something against you at all, it's cuz we have a lot going on and we're totally wrapped up in ourselves at the moment and I'm sorry if this hurts anybody! We don't mean it. We just really appreciate your love, understanding, patience and prayers! Keep 'em coming!!