Wow another Christmas came and went so quickly! I swear this year just snuck right up on us!
Overall we had a good Christmas this year.
The girls got TWO secret santas this year which helped us out immensely! And thanks to family and friends who contributed to our Christmas otherwise Tyler and I would've gotten nothing, and we are soooooooo grateful to those who contributed to our Happy Christmas!
Christmas Eve we spent with my family like usual. It was fun. We missed my brother Glenn & his sweet wife, Andrea, and our little nephew Brayden. They were visitn her family this year in Georgia. She was happy to be home and I don't blame her. How wonderful!
Michael had to work all night at Dominos. That was very disappointing, made my mom cry. It's his last Christmas here before he leaves on his mission for 2 years to Japan in just 2-3 weeks!
It was probably our last Christmas Eve with my family, too, since Tyler's in the Army now and we'll most definitely be moved out of State.
We had a lot of fun, though! We had delicious dinner and a talent show. It was cute! The little girls are so fun to watch show off their little talents.
Then we opened presents from each other. It was great! Thanks to the love of family & friends my parents were able to get us all something. The little girls all had a blast! We held it at an LDS church and it's a big one so the girls had tonz of space to run around and play all night.
Christmas morning we did the usual. Open presents. We had a lot of fun seeing what the girls got from others.
They both got boots and church shoes and that was so wonderful because neither of them had either! They got PJ's, undies (the usual), an outfit each from grandma Pearson, a pair of cute shoes, some My Littlest Pet Shop toys, Sophie got a plush Tinkerbell, they got some art supplies and playdough, a doll and clothes for the doll, and some dollar store toys we got for their stockings. They had so much fun!
Then we went to my mom's for a little bit (30-60 min) and looked at their presents (they didn't get hardly anything. That goes with dad being without a job for about 1 1/2 years) and gave Benji one of his presents. Thanks to so many charitable people Benji and Mike Liu (like foster siblings) got donated a lot of clothes and gift cards and books and things. They had a good Christmas this year. I was very happy for them because Benji's mom died this year and he hasn't seen her for several years or been home to Mexico for many years and Mike's family is in Taiwan and don't have anything nor celebrate Christmas at all.
Then we went to Tyler's folk's house and had a delicious dinner of Tyler's amazing roast beef. WOW he's such a good cook! Go figure since he's going to be a cook in the Army. Lucky soldiers who get to eat his food!! Then the girls opened a couple presents and all the girls played and had a great time. Tyler and I got to play cards with his sis and mama and then we loaded up taking Tyler's youngest sis with us for the night.
I love Christmas! I used to be quit e the scrooge, but because of Tyler and ESPECIALLY because of having children, I LOVE it now. I don't think about myself during this time of year. It rotates around others and especially my children and I LOVE it! I love buying and getting and wrapping presents for family and friends and seeing their reactions to whatever they get. It's so much fun for me!
Tomorrow we are celebrating Lacie's 6th birthday!!! So far only ONE friend is coming and she doesn't even know it. She's such a social bug it's probably going to crush her, but hey one friend is better than no friends!! And she LOVES Isaac! (thank you Kristen!!!). Her young little aunt who's staying the night will be there, too, which I'm so glad for.
Christmastime just includes Lacie in it. It's her birthday on the 27th.
I gave Lacie the middle name of Marie for a few different reasons. 1. It's a major family name. My mom-in-law has it for a middle name, my grandma-in-law does too, and it's my aunt's name in my dad's family and I just idolize that amazing woman! 2. Then it's my great-grandmother's name (middle or first I'm not sure). My grandpa Pearson spoke so highly of her and I wanted her to be remembered through the ages so passed on her first and middle names to both of my daughters. 3. Mary = Marie. I thought of Jesus' mother and wanted to name my little precious daughter after the mother of Jesus and Marie is Mary and it fit perfectly.
Okay, that's it for now. My eyes are blurry, watery and burning (I really need glasses like something fierce now) and it's 3:15am and I need to get to bed so this is very rambling and probably slightly detached and I'm just so tired!
Merry Christmas everyone and THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO much to those of you and whoever the secret santas are that made our Christmas even fathomable this year!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!
Santa clause came today!!
Well, it was actually a surprise secret santa from our ward!
We were just hanging around the house getting ready to leave when someone knocked on the door. Lacie opened it to find two big Kohl's bags full of wrapped Christmas presents. WOW!
With the gifts came a card with a note. The note explained what every gift was and for whom. The girls got a pair of snow boots and church shoes each which are two things we REALLY NEEDED. Talk about tears of joy!!!!
I love this time of year. There is so much excitement, love, charity and joy in the air. I love thinking about my Savior Jesus Christ and the endless, omnificent love he showed for us by coming here, living the perfect life for example, then dying for us.
Christmas is a very special time of year.
Please remember why we have Christmas! Remember why it's called CHRISTmas and how it started and why we celebrate it.
Remember those out there who have less than you do like someone did for us. That's one true spirit of Christmas. Giving gifts. Like Jesus did for us. He gave his life as a gift for all of us.
Christmas is a good time to follow his example, and to reflect on all he has given us and all we have to give of ourselves in return.
Now we are so excited for Christmas morning! We have something exciting to look forward to for the girls instead of just dollar store presents. hee hee.
Wow thank you "Santa" for coming early this year!!
December 2009
Dear friends and family:
This year has been an interesting year for our little family. Tyler got promoted at work at the beginning of the year only to be laid off of work the 1st of March. He continued to go to school with full-time credits at Stevens-Henager and remained on the Dean’s List despite the stresses of life.
We are very excited for this coming year and all its changes that await us. We love this time of year during the Christmas season. We feel the spirit of charity; of love. We feel closer to our friends and family, and we feel the love of our Heavenly Father because of the reminder of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ.
Tyler enlisted in the U.S. Army 23 of November 2009 as a Cook. He is very excited but also very nervous. He continued going to school almost the entire year until just this month when he put his schooling on hold until after he finishes his Army & Cook training next Spring-Fall. He continues to play around on his guitars, always coming up with a new tune. He enjoys his down time playing games online and on his Play Station 2. He can never sit still for too long before getting restless and always can find something to do to keep himself occupied. He already attended his first Drill with all the local Army Units in our area and really enjoyed himself.
Lisa has started to write a book based on one of her dreams. She really enjoys writing, reading and interior design. Her acting and modeling career have been on hold because of her illnesses but she hopes to be able to pick that up again one day soon. She is excited to be starting up in college again as a junior at Utah Valley University. She’s still unsure of what to major or graduate in but is thinking about many things like an Attorney, Police Officer, Public Speaking, Journalism, Theater, Forensics, among others.
Lacie has been growing by leaps and bounds. She started Kindergarten at our local elementary school and has been doing wonderfully. She loves to read, or at least tries her best at reading, every single day. She has learned math, to read a few small words, writing, and is amazing at art and music (of course!). She sings very well, plays the piano, and even a little bit of violin. She loves to dance, draw, paint, play with all her toys and especially loves playing with her friends and little sister, Sophie. She turns 6 years old two days after Christmas and can hardly wait!
Sophie has also been growing up so quickly! She speaks very well and has a very broad imagination. She is a quiet little girl for the most part but always finds plenty of things to get into, always reminding her parents that even though she’s quiet she is definitely there! She loves to sing and has nearly perfect pitch. She also loves dancing, painting, and is obsessed with Tinkerbell and swimming. She is almost 4 years old and talks about her future birthday party on a daily basis. She and Lacie are best friends.
So there you have it! Our Frampton family update! If you want to keep up to date with our family please feel free to follow Lisa’s blog written for the family at www.LisabugFrampton.blogspot.com
Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!!!!
So what would you do if you were married to a hero?
Well, I don't know what you would do but I know what I would do.
My husband has this hero mentality. He's a true hero at heart. If there were such things as Super Heroes then he would certainly be one.
I noticed this quality in him when we first started to "hang-out" together before we got engaged or married. I was having an especially hard day and all my friends had left my apartment and I was left home alone crying in my room. I finally got over myself and decided to go outside for some fresh air when I opened the back/side door and there sat my future husband on the step waiting for me. I was totally take off-guard. He'd never seen me cry before first of all, but the fact that he'd stayed behind for me instead of running off with all our 20 or so friends really impressed me, and quite frankly, surprised the heck out of me. Nobody had ever done that for me before (besides my own mother lol). He stood up and turned around and looked me in the eyes, saw that I had been crying which I had attempted to hide unsuccessfully and took me in his arms and just held me. It was the best feeling I'd had in a very long time to know that he cared for me that much. That's when I knew he was "my type". I love the hero types!
After we'd been married not even a year we welcomed our first baby into our lives. Instead of doing what comes so naturally to many men and run off to work or to hang out with buddies he instead stayed home with me for an entire week, changing baby Lacie's diapers, making me food, cleaning the dishes and laundry, and holding me when my post-partum depression kicked in. He was, again, my hero.
About one year later or so we were walking in the parking lot towards the big ol' Walmart when we noticed an elderly woman in one of those motorized shopping carts struggle to get out of her cart and to her car. She had a basket full of groceries besides this and we had no idea how she planned on getting those into her car when she herself could not even walk. Without hesitation my dear husband rushed to her aid. He took her elbow in one hand and held onto her other hand, helping her into her car. Then she popped the trunk and he unloaded all of the groceries into her trunk, shut it, and waved her a goodbye. "I wish there were more young men like you!" she called after him. We did too.
He's done this exact type of things countless times since then. I've lost count, now. It seems that we see people needing help all the time and very rarely do we see anybody rushing, or even moseying over to help them. It's disappointing to say the least.
Being the hero-type that Tyler is, he wanted to serve our community so he tried for the Police Academy and the Sheriff's Department. He, unfortunately for one reason or another couldn't or didn't make it. But he didn't quit there. He was bound and determined to be a hero.
He decided he wanted to be a nurse or doctor or EMT so he took medical classes at a college, acing his way through them because of course they come naturally to him. He then took an EMT course and got certified.
He's always looking out for opportunities to help somebody. We've stopped many times when there's been an accident to help those involved and he's wished he's had a medical kit with him in the trunk.
Now, my dear hero, is going beyond what even I expected him to do. He's enlisted in the U.S. Army to be Active Duty. He wants to serve our country; fight for freedom and the constitution.
What better heroes are there out there than those that give up their very lives to fight for our freedoms and our families, our land, and our lives?
So, what would you do if you were married to a hero like I am?
Well, here's what I do.
I pray to my Heavenly Father every day, thanking him for sending me my hero to be my husband and the father of my children. I give him kisses and hugs, thanking him every day for what he does for us, and I love him with all my heart and do my very best every day to make him happy in return.
I mean, really, there's no way to repay a hero what he/she deserves after all that they do and sacrifice, is there?
I love being married to a hero! I can always count on being taken care of no matter what and I know my children are the luckiest kids around to have such a man in their lives.
Thank you, Tyler, for being my hero, and now the hero to millions!
This link I'm posting shows a video that needs to be watched. This fits us to a T.
What most people don't understand is why we're in such a financial crisis. It's because of our medical debt. Even when we did have health insurance, the deductibles were outrageous because of their high charges for medical work to be done.
We also have had to see many, many doctors which has cost us even more before we could find diagnosis for my EIGHT diseases.
Because of our current medical debt and financial situation I cannot even go see my doctor to be treated for my Hypothyroidism, Interstitial Cystitis, Endometriosis, Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome, Infertility (due to these problems), or to be further tested as my doctors have referred and recommended to me that I do (i.e. my heart, and other possible diseases).
We have credit cards that are over maxed out and personal loans that we took out BECAUSE OF OUR MEDICAL DEBT. And that's it. Not for extravagant lifestyles or playing or even for nice things. We've lost our car!! We cannot buy our own clothing, etc etc. I cannot write down the extent of the damage that medical debt has caused here on a public site but I can say that it's ENORMOUS.
Nobody has been able to help us. No consolidation companies or programs or attorneys. They've ALL told us that our ONLY OPTION is to file bankruptcy, which we cannot because we don't even have the funds to do that!
Because of the debt that we have with medical bills and the credit cards to pay for past medical bills and the loans, we get 3-12 calls A DAY with collectors and attorneys harassing and threatening us, even to say "we don't care that you don't have a job we have to be paid and we'll garnish your unemployment if we have to". Tyler has tried EVERYTHING, as have I, to plead with them, threaten them, promise them, beg them, ignore them, work with them, but to no avail. They never keep their side of the bargain, either.
It's completely unfair that I cannot even see my doctor and buy the medications that I NEEEEEED to take care of myself.
How on earth can I have a full time job when the pain I get sometimes is crippling? Of course it's more than I show. I'm not a ball-baby or a wimp. My pain tolerance is extremely high. Just because I don't cry all the time or lay on the couch with my arm over my fore-head sighing from the pain doesn't mean that it's not seriously there. I don't receive much or any sympathy at all from most people, and it's probably because they don't realize what I'm going through.
Pretend you have dull knives and a crappy hand blender and you take them to your insides on a regular basis. That's me almost ALL the time. Try that on for size and see how you like it. These pains wouldn't be so bad or even there at all if I could get the medications that I need and/or the treatment that I need (surgery, chiropractors, etc).
Anyway, please don't frown on us because we are doing poorly financially. It's NOT our fault, as much as many would like to believe. I've had an earful from "friends" (who I've recently dropped) that thought they knew so much better than us on how to do it. If it's one thing I cannot stand it's people who think they know best when they have no idea what they're talking about and are on a "high" because they're doing so well presently; they cannot comprehend what we're going through. They think they know what will help us.
RRIIIGGHHTTT. Yeah, Tyler and I are two really dumb pathetic morons that can't add 1+2. GRRRRRRRR. I HATE being treated like I'm stupid and pathetic. HATE IT.
Okay so here's the link I promised: http://utahcpr.org/
Now I am NOT writing this for sympathy or attention or a "woe is us" thing, but to bring some LIGHT to the subject. I believe that this must be addressed. And what's scary is that Obama recognizes IHC (Intermountain Healthcare) as one of the best in the United States and wants to model our future healthcare system after it. WHAT????? NO WAY!!!!!!!
so, enjoy the video and comment there or here as you like.
Wow! Tyler got enlisted today! It's official! He's now property of the U.S. Government. Holy cow. No longer a civie.
He's signed up as a Cook. Not his first choice, which would've been a nurse, but it's his second choice and he's happy with it. He's doing what any MAN would do and that's taking care of his own family and I am so proud of him!!!
He was glowing when he came home and whenever he glows that's when I know he's doing what's right.
We've really come a long way. We've been through a lot since we've been married (even a little before we got married, too) and I am proud of us. We have remained faithful no matter what's happened. Why blame the church and God for trials we're required to go through? We're only throwing away our own eternal salvation when we have "temper tantrums" and not go to church, not pray, not read our scriptures or pay our tithing, etc. Having these fits to try to prove something is only hurting US and our posterity.
Believe me, we have had plenty of "good" excuses to stop being faithful to God and his kingdom (i.e. His Church) but excuses do not fly with God and we know that.
Right now I'm feeling happy and good about this. Tyler said that when he swore in that a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. He felt excitement, pride for his country and what he's sacrificing for it, happiness and satisfaction. I'm also feeling anxiety because I'm not looking forward to having him gone from me and for SO LONG! It's going to be so hard not having my very best friend in the whole wide world around me! It's lonely not having him share a bed with me and not having someone I can go to for everything. It's going to be lonely not having someone by my side at church and family events. It's going to really suck not having dates or having him with me when we get together with our friends. It's going to be VERY HARD. And I know myself, I'm going to cry my eyeballs out and feel totally alone.
I know there are a few "select" people (always the same people) who do not believe that I will be able to do anything with Tyler being gone. These people don't believe that I can take care of myself let alone my children. Such horrible and demeaning things to think! Hello!! I'm 31 and have plenty of experience taking care of children and even living on my own. It's extremely offensive that these people are saying such negative things about me to my husband. What can he do? What can I do? I guess just let them be. They believe and think whatever they choose to make up in their own minds without any proof or evidence from me. Once someone doesn't accept you they probably never will. They've made up their minds. Heck, I could win Mother of the Year award or Wife of the Year award and they'd still believe the same way. But even if I was handicapped and wheel-chair bound and completely incapable of doing anything for myself or my children I'd still have my iron-clad testimony. But, to these people testimonies don't matter as they've proven to me over and over again. Eternal Life doesn't matter. Eternal Family doesn't matter. At least to these people. I have a very strong testimony, I know the Gospel and the doctrine, and I teach my children the right. That's what matters the absolute MOST. At the end of the day what matters the MOST is that my children are taught from the beginning how to have their own testimonies and that me and my family are DOING what we can to earn our eternal life. Yes, it has to be earned.
Anyway, PHEW! Enough of that! Besides those people that only want to see me fail in life, I am excited for what lies ahead of us!
I really feel that Tyler's and my Patriarchle Blessings are being followed and answered in this new life we have ahead of us. I know that this will strengthen both of us in ways that nothing else we could experience could do for us. I know that I'll be forced to be a stronger WOMAN and Tyler will be forced to be a stronger MAN. This is going to stretch us, mold us, try us, in more ways than we can even imagine right now but it will all be for GOOD.
It's one thing to do something scary and hard that will hurt us and another to do something brave and scary and hard that will cause pain (different than hurt). It will help us grow and change and progress in countless ways.
I am excited about the future now!
I get to start school again in January. Part-time I guess, but it's something. It'll help keep me busy while my best friend is torn from my side. I'm not doing school to seek after my own selfish desires, but to help me be a better person and to keep me from sinking into a deep depression.
Plus, the G.I. Bill will help me out with paying for it. I'm happy about that. It's a big stress-reliever knowing that it's there for us.
So, what's going to happen now you may be asking?
Tyler leaves for Basic Training to Fort Knox Virginia (I believe that's the State) for 10 weeks on March 22nd. Then I can go to his graduation from Basic Training. My parents and I will be saving for that so we can go together. I'm so excited!!!
Then after Basic he'll go straight to AIT which is advanced training for his MOS which is Food Operations Specialist (i.e. Cook). He'll be there for 9 weeks. His papers say a total of 21 weeks. Oh man that's so long to be without my MAN!!!!!
His AIT is going to be at Fort Lee, Kentucky (right State?). Then he'll come back home to me in Utah where he'll get the family and we'll be moved by the U.S. Army to another base in another State somewhere. No, we don't know where that will be yet. He won't get those orders until he's nearly done at AIT.
I'm really excited for that!! We'll get to move away! Yipeee!! Okay, I'm very sad about some of the family we'll be leaving behind and our super good friends! We both are really going to miss all of you who have been so supportive and compassionate towards both of us! You have been Angels to us, and I sincerely mean that!
Meantime, I'll be home alone and I'll want family and friends to surround me. If you think I don't want your help think again. Just offer!! I'm not going to say NO unless you're downright evil and horrible hahahaha just kidding!! I know that a few of you think I won't want your help or support and you're totally wrong!! I do want it! I probably won't ask, though. I am embarrassed to ask for help. Makes me feel weak and pathetic, and I do NOT like that some think I am already weak and pathetic so don't expect a phone call unless you're like my best friend or mom! lol
I love you all, no matter what you think of me, and you'll see that the Lord will take care of us!! He already has been taking care of us! And yes, it's been mostly through other people, but isn't that how it works? God works through others to help each of us.
Now we're going to go celebrate!!!!
Well Tyler would be enlisted right now in the U.S. Army but when he was filling out his paperwork while there at MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) they asked if he's had ANY Emergency Room visits. Well, he had a couple of ER visits. One I will mention here and it was his chest pain he was having while taking his EMT class at the Firestation. Well, they never officially diagnosed him with anything but he hasn't had any problems since, not really anyway. We think it's a strained muscle in his shoulder and it's a bad one. His sister's tried working on it in the past and has had to put her ELBOW into it and it will not relax! Stubborn little bugger!! lol So I told Tyler I will work on it up until he leaves for Basic Training. Anyway, unlike what some people seem to think, it is NOT my fault he was having chest pain. (I was actually blamed TO MY FACE by one person and implied by a few more that it was my fault he was having chest pain! Can you believe the nerve of some people? Seriously!). Anyway, so his MUSCLE spasm, NOT caused by his wife but by his lifetime of construction work, caused an issue that was very painful for him and he went to the ER for it because he was with EMT's and Paramedics who insisted he go for chest pain. I think they were using him as an example to the other students in the class that as EMT's you should NEVER take chest pain lightly, no matter what you think it may be. It's just too risky! So away they whisked him to the ER. I'm just praying that this one little thing doesn't prevent him from being able to enlist! How stupid would that be? Seriously! But he has a really good recruiter who's willing to "bust his butt" as he puts it to get Tyler in.
Tyler isn't enlisted yet, unfortunately, but he will be this week one of these days. Not sure exactly which day. He might have to go to the MEPS thing all over again which means leaving here at 3pm in the afternoon on Wed and not getting home until 3pm the next day. Wow just 24 hours and us 3 girls really missed him!! And he might have to do it all over again.
He passed everything else so well, though, so having him repeat it again just seems a little excessive, but oh well!
Everything that's happened has been leading us up to this point. This point of Tyler enlisting in the Army. Things have just happened SO quickly and so smoothly! They say when things fall into place like this that it's right!
I've also been learning some interesting things about the Spirit. The Spirit can come ONE TIME and tell you when something is right, correct and true and then it doesn't need to hang around reminding you of that constantly. You have to have faith in that answer you got and cling to the memory, doing what you know is right that it lead you to. That's why converts can have an amazing experience, or a definite one, when they first discover the truth of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and once that initial feeling wears off and life continues and trials come as they always do that it's easy to forget that feeling and a little bit at a time we let things go that help remind us of that until it becomes too faint and eventually they lose it altogether and leave the church again. This happens to anybody actually, not just converts. It can happen to any member of the church.
Anyway, so when you receive that answer you should probably write down how you felt about it. After you get that answer COUNT on it that Satan/the Adversary is going to indefinitely try to discourage you from following through with what you know is right. He's going to depress you, scare you, intimidate you, give you doubts and discouragement and he will use any means necessary to derail you. He will use friends and family even! Of course these caring people do not realize they may be assisting in this negative way at all because they don't mean harm, but it is a fact that people are used quite regularly to discourage people from choosing the right. Even if they mean well.
If something is indefinitely correct or good or true the Adversary will try to stop you. If it was NOT right he will NOT have to try to stop you so you won't feel these negative feelings. He'll leave you alone! So sometimes this can cause great confusion.
For example, now this might seem like an absurd example, but it's an obvious one I can use, say you have a choice to take illegal drugs or not to take them. You decide that it's the right thing to do to take them. The Adversary is NOT going to give you feelings of doubt that you chose the right thing. He's not going to make you feel confusion, frustration, discouragement, depression or anxiety that choosing to take the drugs is the right thing or not. He will leave you alone! He knows he "has you" and will thus let you go ahead with your obviously WRONG AND BAD decision. BUT, when you have the Spirit of God with you, or the Light of Christ, or the Gift of the Holy Ghost, you will have a SURE KNOWLEDGE that it is wrong. It won't be confusing. It will be a FOR SURE STOPPING knowledge that it is wrong. It will be strong enough that you cannot ignore it inwardly. Outwardly you can pretend you didn't feel it and go ahead with your bad choice, and when you do this enough times eventually you stop feeling this absolute knowledge that something is wrong. You've actually desensitized yourself to the point of not feeling when this knowledge of what is right and wrong is no longer felt or recognized.
But, you can also choose to follow that knowledge and turn around and walk away without another thought about it!! It's so much easier to just follow that knowledge.
Now, say if you pray about it and feel that it's NOT right to take the illegal drugs, the Adversary will be aware of your decision. Do you think he'll leave you alone? Well, probably not unless he knows for sure that he has no chance of swaying you. He will make you doubt your decision, he'll plummet you with guilt and peer pressure, anxiety, discouragement. He'll annoy you so much that you begin to doubt your decision! That's when people cave. They give in to those feelings and they don't follow through with that initial answer they received of what was the correct choice.
I have to give this example, because I feel I must. I was hoping I wouldn't have to, but here it is anyway!
When Tyler and I were first getting to know each other I was still interested in another man I wanted to marry. I felt God approved of my decision to marry this other man, but he also told me that it was up to BOTH OF US. And this other man did not choose me. It hurt. But that's okay now. So I meet Tyler and start to get to know him. I feel something about him that different than with any other man I'd ever dated. I prayed about the man I was to marry and I had a dream OF TYLER! I dreamed of him before I really knew him. I was friends with his younger brother, Joe, and I thought Joe was such an awesome guy that I was always saying "Gosh if Joe just had an older brother!". And lo and behold he did!! I was never interested in Joe in "that way" hahaha thank goodness cuz he's my brother in law now!! I loved the qualities Joe had and since there was no attraction there at all for either of us I just was hoping there'd be another guy out there that I would be attracted to that would be like Joe in many ways. Well, then I met Tyler. I saw him on a Sunday sitting next to Joe at church after the night of my dream and I KNEW I'd found him. Only then I didn't know he was Joe's brother. It wasn't until I went to his house and saw their pictures on the wall that I knew they were brothers without a doubt. They just do not look like each other at all! Joe is a whitey with very blond hair and blue eyes. Tyler is a very stocky dark man with black hair and brownish-gold eyes. So I was thrilled when I found out they were brothers. When I finally got over that old boyfriend of mine the Spirit told me Tyler was the right one, or at least Heavenly Father approved of my choice as did my future children (he was the FIRST one that my future children approved of, actually, and I felt this very, very strongly). I prayed about him and I felt it was RIGHT. Just being with him and around him it was confirmed over and over again.
When the decision to get married was made that's when HELL literally was dragged in to stop us! It was INCREDIBLY HARD!!!!!
We did NOT have support. We actually had friends and family who fought against our union and would say and do anything to try to discourage us from being married. I cannot believe the extremes to which the Adversary went through to try to prevent this special union of ours. There were waves of doubt, discouragement, anxiety and sickness that hit both of us at random times and places, and almost ALWAYS when we were around specific people who did not approve it was VERY strong. It was incredibly difficult!!!! It was one of the most difficult decision either of us have ever had to make!
But we both knew it was correct!
On our wedding day I got up that morning and prayed again, telling the Lord that I was putting my entire faith and life into his hands in trusting that this was the correct decision and to bless me with peace and strength. Well, it washed over me and lasted the entire day of our wedding! The Adversary gave up when he knew I was not turning back and there was nothing he could do to ME to break it up.
Tyler also prayed and said "Stop me Lord if this is not right, but I feel it is" and even though he was literally shaking in his shoes of nervousness he felt it was right! After we were married we felt GOOD. We felt calm and peace and happiness and promise.
It has been difficult, being married (not to each other, just life has) but it has made us both grow in HUGE ways. We've been strengthened so much! And we've grown closer together than ever before! Even though there are some that still do not respect our Eternal Marriage and would throw parties to see this Eternal family torn apart, we are happy together, feel fulfilled, and have never, ever, ever felt like anything was missing. We feel complete and whole together.
My point here is that when something is RIGHT the Adversary will work to prevent it, using ANY means he finds necessary, even family and friends, to try to prevent the right thing from happening!!! And when it is wrong he leaves you alone! You get a distinct KNOWLEDGE that it is wrong and either you forget it or you can easily turn away from it once you make your choice and it's easy to let it go and forget about it.
You can tell when something's not right for you. Like if you're looking at a house to buy you KNOW when you walk into the right place! Or just a place to rent. As soon as you drive up or walk through that door you know if it's a yes or a no. That is when it's one of those DEFINITE things. There are cases where the choices we have don't matter as much and it's not necessary to feel a YES or a NO. But you know it when you feel either of these! It's only after the initial YES that you can receive discouraging thoughts and feelings and emotions that can drive you away from what you know is right.
Wow I just realized I really got into a tangent there!! hahaha sorry about that!! I guess I really felt impressed to share this tonight.
So, back to what's going on with Tyler and I!! haha.
We are being delayed in enlistment and also in where we will be living. We aren't sure if we'll be staying here or moving to government housing. I just don't want to have to start over in another ward and then in a few short months have Tyler GONE. Not only with the girls have their daddy GONE 24/7 for MONTHS (which will be EXTREMELY traumatic to them) but then they'll have to get used to new neighbors, new house, new ward, and even a new school!!!!! AAAAAAHHH!!!! I really hope we don't have to move there! Now, it's not a bad place, and it actually has THREE bedrooms instead of two like we have now, and it's all one level (thank you from my poor bad knees!) but yeah. It's government housing which means strict rules and also the price of the rent is determined from the gross income of the house. That can be bad and too expensive if Tyler is making too much. Being in the military it will be too much, especially if I have any hope of ever getting out of debt again! Thank goodness the military has sooooo many wonderful benefits! That will literally SAVE US.
So we are meeting with our bishop, HOPEFULLY, tomorrow and counseling with him about our options and see what our choices will end up being after that.
I am just really scared of being ALL ALONE after Tyler is gone. I hope that family will get closer to me and the girls, even if they'd rather not, especially for the girls and since I'll be so lonely being without my best friend in the entire world!!!
So, pray that things will continue to fall into place for us!! We need prayers for peace, comfort and guidance!!
I've been thinking about this lately and I just feel like I need to write down what little impressions/thoughts I've received about this topic.
You know when a mother loves her children when she's willing to do anything for them to keep them safe and cared for. The more she's willing to do the more she must care, because it requires sacrifice and selflessness to do so. Even if it means that they have to go through a hard life to obtain growth, wisdom, strength and development of character.
Then there are mothers out there that don't care so much for their children and we see what happens to those kids. The list is endless and it is tragic.
Besides the mothers that don't do much or anything at all for their children there is the other extreme as well. It's called smothering or enabling.
You can tell these moms apart from others because they're overprotective. I mean to the extreme.
If their child wishes to do something that will take them "out of the box" or has any amount of risk or "hardness" attached to it the mom will do whatever it takes to keep them from doing it, even if it means discouraging them or even demeaning or belittling them, causing great feelings of doubt, depression, and a bad self-image. They begin to think that they can't "do it", whatever the "it" may be.
Mom's can be overbearing and smothering without meaning to. They can over-do their mothering, if that makes sense.
They can keep their children back, keep them from progressing, growing, learning, exploring and figuring out who they really are.
I don't mean that mothers who teach their children a certain religion or ideal are smothering. Not at all. They are educating their children when they do this. The more education you have the more power you have over your choices and free agency. What I am saying is that when a mother tries to keep education from their children and keep them from hardship in any way they are hindering them. They are hurting them, not helping them.
Of course when a child is very young they must have this type of attention from their mother to keep them from causing serious harm to themselves or others, but it's got to slow down and eventually stop. Sure a mom can give her "opinion" or "counsel" to their child, but it needs to stop there.
For example, if your grown child wants to go to a certain college you don't approve of as a mother you can say "I don't like such-and-such college because _____" and leave it at that. If they want to know more they can ask. But telling them "I don't want you to go there because I don't think it's right for you, I think it's a bad idea, and I don't think you can do it" or "that's too hard for you" etc., that's discouraging, among other things.
There's a time when you have to allow your child to grow up. A time when you have to cut the apron strings, so to speak. A time when you need to let them govern themselves and trust they'll make the wisest of choices.
I know there are certain times when a mother's advice is needed, ESPECIALLY when their child is making very bad choices (i.e. drugs, alcoholism, adultery, and other serious sins/choices). Of course they need to know what is right and what is wrong. Saying "I don't think that taking drugs is a good idea because of this and this" is a great way to help a wayward child. It's better than to just ignore the problem as if it weren't there and hope it'll go away. But when it's a choice that isn't spiritually killing them and that is hard on them, let them go! Let them do it and learn for themselves.
(Okay I'm totally babbling. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense here cuz it's almost 2:am).
I was just thinking about how a mother, when good intentions are her desire, she can actually start smothering instead, causing more harm than good and then an example popped into my head I'm sure you've all heard before.
A mother can teach and train their children, but they cannot live their lives for their children, they cannot shelter them from a hard life and they cannot always be there when bad things come along. They have to trust that their children will be able to handle it on their own and also realizing that their children will probably come out stronger in the end because of the hard things that come along.
Think about the chick in the egg. The chick must struggle it's way out ALL BY ITSELF or it will die. If the mother was to worry about the chick going through something too hard and help that chick out of it's egg it would kill it in doing so. The chick will not have the necessary muscles built up by breaking through the egg shell in order to survive. The mother must let the chick struggle and work hard on it's own.
Trying to protect your children from a hard life is causing them more pain and suffering than anything else. Life is hard. That's the way it's supposed to be.
It helps us grow and progress. We learn wisdom. We learn long-suffering and patience. We learn how to rely on God and on the wisdom of others who have gone on before us. We also learn a great deal about ourselves in the process.
Just because you're afraid your child is going to have a tough marriage doesn't mean you should try to stop it. That's going over the line.
Just because you think college will be too hard on your child doesn't mean you should discourage them from attending. Think of the damage that will cause! They won't be educated, they won't have a good career. They won't be smarter. They won't have as much confidence. They won't grow.
That's just one example.
There are many things that we must go through in life and some things are different for one person than for another and it may be through specific hard things that you can learn important lessons in life that you can learn in no other way.
Like, going on an LDS mission. It is very difficult on many levels. It can even be scary. But not going on one because you're too afraid for the pain and hard work and being away from family are very bad reasons not to do it. There are missionaries that die every year serving their missions. Does that mean we all should not go on one? NO way!! I know that me serving my mission was the best decision I ever made and that the lessons I learned on my mission could not have been learned in any other way. My mom was sad to see me go. She even feared for me. But did she try to stop me? Did she discourage me, scare me, demean me, give me doubts? HECK NO!! She was proud of me! She was proud that I was willing to put my life in God's hands, make major sacrifices, and trust that I will do well and learn from it. Was it hard? Oh yes it was very hard!! Was it worth it? Of course it was worth it and more!! I cannot place a price on that experience!
I know that mothers can get really worried and over-protective of their children. I know this because I'm a mother myself. But if I was to follow my girls around and faced all their problems for them and discouraged them from doing something that was "scary" or "hard" then I would be hindering their growth, making forever babies out of them. I would keep them from reaching their potential and from discovering their true selves and seeing what they are capable of.
Let your children live their lives, hard or harder or hardest as they may be! You will see them grow and learn in ways you could not have imagined! And you will be proud of them and amazed at their abilities and wisdom that they gain from their experiences. Just teach them right while they're young and they'll make more wise choices as they grow and one day they will thank you for it.
That's a promise!
After all, isn't that how God does it? He allows us all to struggle through our trials and hardships. The more the better, in all reality. It helps us grow in countless ways that nothing else could have done for us. Forcing us to be or live a certain way does the opposite. It softens and weakens us, eventually killing us. Of course God teaches us and gives us everything necessary to help us have the most successful life possible. God must know what he's doing so we should take a lesson from that and follow it ourselves in order to be successful in life. It is the only way we can have true peace, happiness and joy. We have to know the bitter from the sweet, the easy from the hard, the sorrow from the joy, or we will never appreciate it, never understand it, never know it or become who we can become, and without those hard experiences in life we will never be truly happy.
(this goes for wives, too, who choose to enable their husbands and take their "jobs" away from them!)
Well I might as well update y'all and stop putting it off, right?
Things have been changing a little bit at a time around here and I really hope they continue to change for the good for us.
Tyler passed his EMT and is not officially certified as an Emergency Medical Technician in the State of Utah. RAD!!!!! SO exciting!!! He did so well and I totally knew he would!
And,
he's been very seriously considering and pursuing the Military, specifically the United States Army Active Duty! He's thinking about being a Combat Medic or something else in the medical field. I don't want him to do a job that will put his life in danger, and being a Combat Medic would do just that. But there are so many other medical jobs in the military I'm sure he'll consider a much safer route.
Tyler and I strictly believe that nobody should make such huge decisions in their life without first consulting the Expert. Who might that be? God, duh ;). He knows all, knows what's best, loves us and will never lead us astray, and we really have faith in Him and whatever he has planned for us.
So why stick our noses up at his commandments (or as more popularly called "suggestions") when he's not going to lead us into a path that brings sorrow and pain and regret? It's laughable, really. Only he knows what's best for us and he's made is incredibly easy to figure it out. i.e. follow his commandments, ALL OF THEM, repent when you mess up and YOU WILL MESS UP, and when in doubt ask Him, which is what we're doing right now.
Tyler and I started a fast last night about this decision. We know it's a HUGE one and will determine in a huge way the course in where our lives will lead us.
So far we BOTH feel good about it! Neither of us have felt that it's wrong. We're excited, we're happy, we're hopeful. Sure we're scared. Who wouldn't be??? It's a HUGE deal! But if it's right then that's what we're going to do, just like when we got married.
A lot of people that should have been supporting us when we got married were fighting us tooth and nail, especially against Tyler, and it only made it harder on our relationships with these people to not have their support, but we both knew it was right to get married so we did it anyway, having faith in God that he knew what he was doing. Now we're going through it again. Tyler is going through some adversity and a bit of negative feedback from the very people that should be giving him full support, but hey what can you do? Cry about it? Okay sure we can, but we will not because what matters MOST is TYLER AND LISA. Nobody else. Okay, TYLER AND LISA AND GOD. hee hee. And our family. Just us. Period. That's it. End of story. lol j/k.
Anyway, if it's not right he will not pursue it, hence the reason for the fast. We want to know for sure if it's the right course to take. I mean gosh, Tyler's putting his life literally on the line here!!! And, he'll be leaving me a single mother for many months and quite possibly YEARS as well!!!
The Army recruiter that we both met with a week ago spoke to me very frankly and directly and said that it's the WIFE that's giving the sacrifice in every way. It's HER that will suffer, HER that will be lonely, HER that gives up, HER that has the hard time. The guy gets to play Army and even though he might have a hard time he will not hate it. He might have one bad day out of thousands, but besides that he's playing Army like he always wanted to, gets to shoot guns, jump out of airplanes, save lives, play in the dirt, get strong and muscly, and do just about anything else he wants to, away from his family. He won't have to change diapers, help clean the house, take out the trash, babysit the kids, or ANYTHING.
He really laid it on thick to me. He said that I am going to be miserable most of the time and feel very lonely. He said the only thing that will keep me sane is my family's support and making friends with the other military wives.
SIGH!!!!!!!
I HIGHLY DOUBT I'll get any support from _________. They hate my guts. They hate how outspoken I am. Boo on them. They're missing out I say! lol
Okay, so those are two cool things going on with us right now.
I also reapplied to go back to school at UVU. I'm still not sure what I want to do there. I REALLY want to do Interior Design and get a Real Estate License, but I don't have the money out of pocket to do either and Utah sucks for Interior Design. Everybody here has such a bland taste (sorry!!! But it's true! Nobody thinks outside the box where design is nor will they pay for good design the cheapos!!).
Wow am I being blunt or what?
So I was thinking of Forensics or being a Police Officer. Any other ideas or suggestions? I can't do business or accounting. I'd go literally nuts with boredom!! lol
If the Army thing isn't right for Tyler then he'll be going back to UVU come January to do his pre-nursing classes. He's already doing so well! I'm really proud of him! He's such a strong man and he knows what he wants and he stands by it and I love that.
On the down side. The girls have been getting sick A LOT. My mom says it's cuz they have low immune systems and I tend to agree with her. Especially Sophie. Ideas on what to do to help them?? No, we are NOT getting any stupid flu shots so don't even go there (hahaha, sorry!) but I'll be open to any other suggestions at all!!
Right now we think Sophie has bronchitis. You should hear her cough! Poor girl coughs all day and all night long and it won't go away! Their fevers won't go away either. I'm worried about them. Poor little things!
We've missed SOOOO much church for being sick literally every single weekend!!! Okay there have been a weekend here and there that they've not been sick, but that's been rare. It's really discouraging because I really miss church and the HUGE PEACE I feel there.
I DO NOT go for the people. Who cares what they may or may not think about us? I go because I know it's the Lord's church and you can feel his spirit there and it's so refreshing. It's like filling up your battery. I love it!
Oh and I just wanted to mention a few things I'm grateful for.
1. My friends.
I have some REALLY REALLY REALLY good friends. You guys are amazing and so supportive and so good! You are true friends and I love you guys so much! No matter where we go in life I know you'll always be there for me and I'll ALWAYS be there for you! If there's one thing that I value more than I can express it's a true friendship. I am so loyal.
Anyway, my friends have been a HUGE support for us. I have really and truly needed every one of you. Sure, there have been a few that have misunderstood me/used me and hurt me and are slowly disappearing, but it's their loss, right? I truly believe so. One day, and even now, I believe that those who choose to be our friends God blesses. I really believe this. I feel it's true. So thank you so much for being there!!
2. My family.
We've had a bumpy road with some family but the family that is TRUE family has stood by our sides no matter what!!! I may have a big mouth on me and can easily offend others and those who are TRUE FAMILY know this and forgive me for this. They know that I do not mean to offend; they know I have a tender and loving heart, so they forgive. I consider a lot of my family some of my best friends and I absolutely love that. There is no better relationship you can have in this life than to be best friends with a family member. Tyler is my best friend in the whole wide world and he's also my husband i.e. a family member. I am really grateful for a few really good family members and I love you guys so much! Thank you for everything!!!
3. My girls & husband (my FAMILY family).
My girls are such bright lights in my life. I was told that I only had 30% chance of ever having a child. I was told that I would miscarry most of my babies and if any of them ever made it to birth and survived it would be a miracle. Well I have two amazing miracles!!!!
I know that I was HARSHLY and wrongfully judged when I was pregnant with both of them and had to quit working, but if I had not quit working THEY WOULD HAVE DIED. My body has an incredibly difficult time being pregnant. I was SO blessed to even get pregnant with my little girls. I know for SURE they are supposed to be here and they're supposed to be mine and Tyler's children. I feel a special connection with my two girls. And I am very very grateful I have two girls. To me they are perfect. And they're mine. And I am very lucky to have them!
And my husband. He has been through SO much. I feel like his life as been unfair for the most part but he's been so positive and even more-so he's been persevering. He has overcome some of the hardest obstacles out there and come out on top! He is a very hard worker, dedicated, and he follows what he knows to be right. Sure he's not perfect, but WHO IS in this life? What matter is that he's made it so far and has really grown into a very strong and stable man who I am so proud of and so in love with!!!!
He has faced so much adversity in his life and always chooses the right in the end. I also know that if I had taken over his job as the "bread winner" that he would not be as far as he is right now. There's just something in it for a man when he can truly be a MAN and be allowed to be the MAN and make the money like he wants to and seeks to further his education. Tyler has grown more and more into a MAN every day and it's been AMAZING to watch!!! He's really learning self-respect and self-confidence this way.
It actually has been a blessing for Tyler to have a wife with many health problems. I have not been able to go further my education and get a career that I KNOW I would have if I had been able to and if I'd done this then Tyler would not have had to "step up". I hope I'm making sense without coming across as offensive at all. But it's something that we both have realized, and I'm really so VERY grateful for it.
4. The Gospel of Jesus Christ.
This has literally SAVED ME. Saved my life, saved my happiness, saved everything. Because I believe in my religion I am strong. Not just any religion, but in the specific religion I belong to. Believe me when I say that I know this is God's one and true religion and that there is ONLY ONE WAY back to Him and Eternal Life. I'm getting tired of hearing from people that there are many ways and that every person has their own way to get to God and Heaven and that God will accept everybody into Heaven, blah blah blah. People who believe this way DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Anyway, I am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL for my testimony. I sincerely and thoroughly and very thoughtfully believe in This church with ALL of my heart and mind and feel indebted to God every day for being allowed to be a member of His kingdom and His church and to partake of his Eternal blessings every single day of my life. I am so happy and satisfied with where things are with my religious part of life and what and how I believe. I have no doubts; there is nothing that I can think of that could ever deter me from this faith that I have. I AM NOT PERFECT, and I can falter, and I do make LOTS of mistakes every day, but what does matter is that I have a true testimony and I keep that by working at it every day, and that I repent of my MANY "transgressions" and errors.
Okay those are just 4 things I am very grateful for at this time. They aren't in the order of what's most important to me at all, just so ya know.
Let's just say that life has been hard and rough etc etc etc., but we're not giving up. Sure, we have enemies. Sure, we have problems. Sure, we have trials. Who doesn't????
What matters is how we choose to be at the end of the day. How we choose to react. How we choose to live.
And we're choosing to live the way God has asked us to, no matter how much rebuttal we can get, because we know that he wants what is the absolute BEST for us and wants our happiness and joy to be full because he loves us that much, and more.
So, yesterday I saw my midwife who checked me over and set me up for an ultrasound of my (code word now) B. I have feeling there isn't anything. I think it's just that the weight I'm gaining is being weird where it goes hahaha. But I don't know. My ultrasound is on Monday and I PRAY it's a woman and not a man that does it! Yipes! But at least Tyler will be there so if the dude steps a hair out of line I'm sure he'll kick his trash for me :D hee hee.
So things aren't better around here. My doctor did do something nice for me. I ran out of my Synthroid and I think that because I've run out and been taking it wrong is why I've been gaining lots of weight, getting tired and sluggish, etc. So, he sent over permission for me to get the generic brand instead so it's only 4.00 bucks at the Walmart Pharmacy instead of 40.00!!!! So we got some today. We had 6 bucks left so just enough with 2 bucks to spare! Yes! Our prayer was answered last night.
Also, y'all know that Tyler's been seriously considering the military, right? Well, the Air Force is a definite NO because they're soooooo picky about who they let in, and all military branches reached their quota early in the year so they're being especially picky about who they let in. Tyler's past is still haunting him in the present and will be hung over his head for the remainder of his life here. It's unfortunate, but a natural consequence. I hate seeing people be stupid with their outrageously rebellious actions and attitudes. They're killing themselves and their families with their selfish actions, behaviors and attitudes.
So we have met with the Utah National Guard and the Army. We know that recruiters don't tell everything to you straight, especially when they're really desperate to get recruits, but the most recent recruiter we met with seemed as straight as they can get with his answers to us. He's with the Army Reserve. Tyler is considering going Active Duty with the United States Army. THE ARMY ARMY!!!! Yipes!!!! His background pictures on his PC is of Army dudes in full battle gear holding their M16's. LOL. He's sooo hiped!!
Well, they let him pass the first part. The part where his background was making it impossible to enter the Air Force. So we just heard that today and Tyler is SO excited. I am a bit, too. I'm happy to hear that they'll look past that.
Tyler will be taking the practice ASVAB in the recruiters office on Tuesday sometime, then right after that then he'll go up to SLC to take the real thing then he'll pick his job, get a physical, and get a huge background check done, then sign up and he'll be officially enlisted in the US Army!!! WOW.
Here's what's new with me besides the B thing.
I've gained 20 POUNDS in 3 WEEKS. In the last 3 months I've gained over 40 lbs!!! I am the heaviest I have ever been.
I am completely disgusted with myself. And very disappointed. I know that most of it is not my fault, and I also know that most people will not believe that, especially those that are naturally skinny and/or naturally healthy.
I know I used to judge people that I didn't know for being heavy/fat and I would think they were trying to "pass the buck" by saying "it's health issues". Well I know for sure now that there are valid cases where health issues made someone gain weight and which makes it harder and harder to lose it. Sure, there are those few who are lazy and sit around and eat crap all day that get fat THEN get sick, but it seems that those who get sick THEN fat are automatically put into that group of "you're fat cuz you're lazy and eat crappy" group just for how they look.
SO, after all that blabbing from me, I'm tired of being judged like this. I'm tired of people looking down on me.
But, I also am tired of how I feel. I am tired of my gut being in my way and feeling tired after I go up and down stairs, and tired after cleaning a room in the house.
So, along with Tyler, I am going to start working out. We are going to jog every night or every other night and do other work outs on the days we don't jog/run. We're going to cut sugar out of our diets (and that includes drinks) because everyone that has any sense will know that SUGAR MAKES PEOPLE FAT. DUH!!! lol
It doesn't matter what your genes are, if you eat sugar every day you're gonna gain weight, UNLESS you're very, very active like I used to be.
Being skinny came so so easy to me. I could eat whatever I wanted and as much of it as I wanted to because of everything I used to do, AND, because I was healthy!!
You know what drives me nuts? Seeing parents feeding their kids fast foods and pop and sugary drinks, candy, just plain ol' junk food, starting them with a lifetime of obesity or just plain heaviness. I know I grew up in a house where these foods were an extreme rarity. Us kids were all skinny and very fit and healthy. I rarely ever had to see the doctor growing up, none of us kids did. My parents were not perfect, but they did a LOT of things so right for us. They taught us how to have testimonies of our own which you cannot put a price on and I am Eternally indebted to them and owe my life to them for that and number two they raised us healthy. They encouraged sports, cleaning/chores, good eating and good habits. Because I have a horrible sugar tooth, I would sneak and buy my own junk food every day from the time I was 9 or 10 and on up until this day. WOW that's been stupid. All the wasted money!!
So, Lacie seems to have the same sugar addiction issues I do so we want to try to train her while young that sugar is BAD. Plus, it makes her act bad.
Anyway, I want to make some changes in my life. I have a LONG LONG LONG way to go and this is incredibly hard but I HAVE to do it!! I feel that Satan is keeping me low to prevent me from fulfilling my mission in life and I have to fight it!
In this process I will NEED desperately encouragement from my friends and family. I will need the support necessary to help me not give up or quit. I am not invincible but need constant support. That's just the way it is. It's very difficult.
I'm NOT going to "cheat" and get vit B shots or hcg shots or take diet pills of ANY kind, etc., etc. I want to do this 100% naturally. The reason for this is so that I can feel better about myself and be able to say that I did it all by myself and so that I can form healthy and positive habits so I won't fall back into old bad habits.
If anybody wants to work out with me or run with us PLEASE do so!!!! If anybody wants to contribute healthy shakes/smoothies, simple healthy meal plans, or any words of encouragement, please contribute! Please email me here or call me or whatever.
Also, if anybody wants to give their advice for which branch of military to do please tell us! We need input!! And Also, Active Duty or Reserves??
okay, me signing off now. We're going to go jog around our park tonight with the girls in our non-jogging stroller.
Well the girls have been REALLY sick. For like 2 weeks!! Lacie's missed over a week of school and we've missed a couple weeks of church now (besides Conference Weekend).
Sophie had a really high fever for days. Today it's still around a 100. We took them to the after hours on Sunday night and they found that Sophie had a really bad ear infection and Lacie a sinus infection but Sophie's high fever was TOO high for that and they both had nasty coughs. Sophie had also thrown up a day before.
So they sent us to the ER to be tested for Influenza and the H1N1 Virus (Swine Flu).
Both of those turned out negative!! But they said that the girls had all the typical symptoms of the Swine Flu so told us to stay indoors and if we HAD to leave then the girls would have to wear masks.
Poor girls have nasty coughs now. They've complained of body aches, head aches, sore throats, stomach aches. Lacie's getting much better now, though, just has a lingering cough. They're both on antibiotics so I'm sure that's helping them than, goodness!
Now for the Mammogram thing.
This is a bit embarrassing for me and personal so please bear with me. I've been having pain in a B (=breast) for several months now. I tried changing to all natural deodorant which has helped a little bit, but the pain is still there. For a while there it was so painful and I had a lump in my underarm that hurt, too.
Well, just two days ago I noticed that one of my B's was bigger than the other which is NOT normal for me. I mean, it was very noticeable. Tyler even noticed it and said it was a significant change.
I thought about it for a day and then decided to call my midwife today even though their office was closed. In just a couple hours I got a call back and they said they'll have to schedule a mammogram. They asked if I've ever had one, which if course I have not. So on Tuesday I have to go in and see my Midwife who'll check and see which type of test would be the best (i.e. mammogram &/or biopsy).
I'm scared!!!
Perhaps it's just an infection, right? Or something else? The symptoms I have fit Inflammatory Breast Cancer. PRAY I DON'T!
I tell you, every week it's something new....................
My little brother, Mike, got his mission call!!! It took no time at all. I can't believe they process them so quickly nowadays!
So he and one of his best friends were camped out on lawn chairs next to the mailbox, waiting for the unsuspecting mailman to come.
They weren't sure if it was coming today or not but nonetheless there they sat and waiting anxiously. They even had a Frisbee for an occasional Frisbee-toss.
Well, the mailman came and put the mail in the neighbors box next to my brother's and Mike noticed that there was a church envelope in his car but when the mailman handed the stack of mail to Michael the church envelope was not included.
Mike was so disappointed!
So the mailman drove off.
Then he stopped and backed up. The trash can was in his way so he drove forward again. Mike's thinking "what's he doing?"
Then he backed up around the trash can until he reached Mike and handed out through his window a big, white envelope from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on it.
MICHAEL'S MISSION CALL!!!!!!!
So last night we all gathered (minus Erik & his fam, Erik was at a work meeting in SLC and Alicia was just home) at 9:30pm. We waited around for a bit for more people to arrive. Mike Liu came, Benji Patron, Susan Searle from across the street (one of Mike's best friends' mom) and a few of Joshua's friends, Caleb Cox, and a couple people via speakerphone, Mike's friend Levi, and Glenn recorded it while he opened the envelope and began to read.
We all had guessed where he'd go. Guessing anywhere, really.
He's going to Nagoya Japan!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glenn when to Tokyo! So it was the coolest thing having Glenn's li'l bro going to the mission right next door to his own! So awesome! Mike already speaks some Japanese so he was really thrilled.
OH MY GOSH I'm so excited for him!!!!!!!
YEA!!!!!!!! Mission's ROCK!!!
Here's the link to the video of him opening his call!:
Michael Opening His Mission Call
So I realize that a lot of my blog postings are of a negative nature or feeling. I really try not to do that. I really try to be positive, as much as is possible for me anyway.
Well the last two days have been humbling, painful, inspiring, and a learning experience for me.
First, some people will never, ever see what they do wrong. They will never acknowledge when they've done wrong, caused major harm to others, and never will be sorry or repent of it. Either they just don't get it or they actually do mean harm. Or both. I know that someone can do both because both of these reasons came from one and the same person in direct attack against me and my family.
Somebody who was a friend several years ago caused a fight with spreading rumors to all of her friends and it came back to her. She blamed it on everybody else but herself, putting herself as the victim when in fact, she was the instigator and made it worse than it should've been.
Instead of getting an apology for the hurt she caused between many of her friends she retaliated.
Now, years later, when she learned of another friendship I have with someone else she stepped in and made it a point to contact this person and vomit her lies and stories to her about me. Only this time it was horrendous lies and stories that left both Tyler and I shocked beyond words. When it started to sink in after I heard what she'd been saying about me, I broke down and sobbed. She said awful things about some of our family and about my dear Tyler, and about my own little girls. She twisted the very few facts she knew about and added complete and full stories and lies. It was, just, WOW.
To think that somebody can carry a grudge that was self-inflicted for this many years, and then at first chance they have at continuing an attack after so much time, is very unfortunate on many levels.
She has caused my family much harm. And we don't even know the extent of her evil and lying gossiping and we're afraid to ever find out. She went out of her way to try to make our life more miserable than it already was. She possibly ruined a little job I had making a little extra money a month that was paying for a few things like gasoline, food, and some of my medication. But now it's gone, and it's hard not to blame it on this person.
I learned that when you give someone an extra chance that has lied and gossiped in the past that you are taking a great risk.
There is a difference between forgiveness and befriending someone who's caused serious harm. You can forgive someone but that does not mean you have to be friends with that person or even ever talk to them again. You don't have to have any contact at all and still forgive them. Here's how you do it. You forgive and never forget. And that's not wrong. The Lord never, ever told us to forgive AND forget. Only HE does this for us. He has commanded us to forgive all men their "trespasses", even 70x7 times that they offend you. But he has never commanded us to forget what they've done.
There's a saying, and I know I have this wrong so correct me here, but it goes something like this:
"Fool me once, shame on YOU. Fool me twice, shame on ME".
Well, I learned this first hand over the last 3 days. And it hit me HARD. And my family. It has caused irreversible damage. It's going to take me a while to completely forgive this confused, deranged person for what they've done to me and my family. But I will eventually. But I will never, ever have anything to do with them again. And may God forgive her for what she's done.
Also the last 2 days I have been in a lot of pain, physically. It comes in waves, but it's almost constant. My I.C. has flared up and it's almost more than I can bear. I can understand how untreated I.C. can land someone in a wheelchair and bedridden. I can barely move, barely walk, and it's seriously like I'm in labor plus a tearing, sharp pain. I feel like broken glass is being mixed in my pelvis. Just remember that Interstitial Cystitis is NOT caused by weight, it's 100% INCURABLE so please people stop telling me to lose weight and it'd go away. Even eating "right" won't heal it. Nor will exercise. Believe me. There are thousands of people who've tried all of this. It flares up from time to time. The cause is unknown, and there is little treatment for it. I do need medication for it. 3 pills a day. But 1 pill is around 150.00 a month, another is around 65 a month and I didn't figure out the 3rd one cuz I was too disgusted and discouraged with the first two prices. We don't have insurance or any money for this. So I suffer. And I don't get much compassion for it. I wish I could do something about it, but I cannot.
It's like telling someone who has MS or type 1 diabetes to "suck it up" or "lose weight and you'll get better" or "eat right and it won't bother you", etc. um WRONG.
So yeah, I've been in a LOT of pain.
The reason why I brought this up and talked forever about it is that there is something about pain that can bring one to being humble.
I find it interesting that the same weekend that this enemy of ours attacked us again was the same weekend my I.C. has flared up, and also the same weekend as General Conference.
I tell you what it's made me extremely emotional. Crying over being hurt by someone's poisonous vomit called gossip, then hurting from my disease flaring up, then feeling the spirit in huge overwhelming waves has caused a lot of different emotions to surface for me.
But, through all of this, it's humbled me a little bit, just enough to sit and listen to our Prophets & Apostles and soak up their profoundly inspired messages to the world; to me.
I was very touched this weekend with a feeling of peace and calm, of love and patience. Of understanding. Of hope and healing. I am grateful for the trials that I have gone through.
Not that I'd do it all over again (HAHAHA) but that they've taught me more than I could have ever learned in any other way. They've really humbled me; softened me! They've made me rely on my testimony and on Jesus Christ.
I've been tested in so many ways.
My testimony was tested on many different levels. My loyalty was tested, my understanding, patience, endurance, faith, stability, strength. And more that I am sure that I do not even realize.
I have found that I do not waver in my testimony. I questioned some things for a time, for sure, but I cannot deny what I know to be true and what I've seen my whole life and more importantly, what the power of God has spoken to me through the Spirit. Everything always brings me back to what I know to be true. It all brings me back to truth, to hope, to faith. And I don't give up. I can't. No matter what happens, I just cannot give up or give in.
There is a lesson to be learned in everything.
Whether you're the victim or the instigator. Whether you're wrong or right. Whether you're being very tried or the one watching someone else being tried. There's always something important to be learned.
I just hope that I can continue to see the lessons in all that we have been going through and have yet to go through.
Meantime I'm sure I'll do some more crying until this weekend is completely over and my physical pain lets up, and I can officially get over the immense pain that this old "friend" of mine caused, and hopefully I'll never stop crying over the powerful influences of the Spirit of God that touches my life every single day.
Tyler's school told him from the beginning that he could get his Certificates he qualifies for as he goes. He hasn't received them. So he called the Certificate place and they said he couldn't have them until he got his Diploma (Bachelor's Degree). But how do CNA's get theirs, and Phlebotomists, and EKG/ECG Techs before they graduate? So Tyler was furious. He called his school and left a message with the Dean there. He didn't hear back, so today we both went in to talk to him. He called the certification place and he didn't tell us exactly what they told him but he told them (we were listening while he called them right in front of us) that other students have received theirs before graduation. Anyway, he said meantime that Tyler can print off proof that he's taken the tests and earned the Certificates and then he and another Professor who's also a doctor can write referral letters to go with this proof to use to get a job. So we printed off a couple of copies. We'll have to get more later and have to get the referral letters later since we ran out of time while we were there.
Okay, now with the Military. An Air Force recruiter told Tyler he's absolutely disqualified from being in the Military for something that happened when he was 15 or 16 yrs old. Not sure how much I can dare write down here so I won't mention what it was here. Anyway, it was soooo disheartening for Tyler, and even for me! Tyler cannot find a good job. We HAVE TO HAVE benefits; my life depends on them quite literally. I cannot find a job at all. Nothing. More and more places are requiring Associates or at least Bachelor's Degrees. It's insane! Even to work at a fast food joint or cleaning. They also like all this experience, like 2 years here, 5 years there, etc. But I'm still applying hoping that someone will like me enough to hire me.
So anyway, back to the Military thing. We're still not 100% sure Tyler can qualify for the military so we went to the Utah National Guard office at the Mall and met with a recruiter there today. He gave Tyler the run-down and an application. Even though Tyler's considered over-weight, because he's so thick in the shoulders and neck he actually just fits inside of their height-to-weight ratio! Hee hee I have a very meaty man and I love it!! :) (just had to say it lol).
But at any rate he's still going to go on a healthy diet and start to work on his sit-ups. He can pump out those push-ups so there's no issue there, it's the running and sit-ups he struggles with a bit. But he bulks up and gets in shape pretty quickly so I know he can do it. I plan on doing it right along with him, too.
He'll go in the Special Forces into the Medical Segeant. That's the equivalant of a Physician's Assistant, which is what his little brother, Joe, is. Pretty narly, eh? And in the SPECIAL FORCES!! :) So he'll get done in 4-6 years serving his time in the military, either abroad or in the good ol' US of A and then finish civilian PA school in a few short months and be done. :) Then he was thinking of doing medical school actually to be a full-blown MD. Awesome, eh?
I really hope it works out for him!!
He'll be gone for 10 weeks of Basic Training then go onto his special training as a PA in North Caroline for 100 weeks. Me and the girls would go with him for that. Our medical would 100% be covered for this entire time, plus some pay, housing and some food. AWESOME!!
Then who knows where he'd go next. But he has to have a Secret clearance. That's a toughy. I really, really hope it works out for him! He's STOKED and I'm excited for him, too! It'll be SOOOOOO hard having him gone for so long but others have done it, I'm sure I'll find some support somewhere and I'm sure plenty of other mothers/wives who'll understand and sympathize with me (hee hee).
Okay, and a clarifying on the my last blog.
I know I sounded mad. I didn't realize how mad I sounded until I re-read it AFTER I posted it! lol. I am mad about where we're at. I know we're where we're at because of US and nobody else. BUT. Just so ya know. We don't spend our money like a couple of idiots. I know I already said that but let me clarify. We bought a couch, TV, table & chairs and washer & dryer WITH CASH YEARS AGO. When we weren't in debt except with the car! (and a bit of medical). WE SOLD ALL OF THAT!!!!!!!
We got almost dollar-for-dollar back selling our stuff. I know people frowned on what we did, but we thoroughly enjoyed it while it lasted and that's done and gone in the past. We didn't go buy things when we didn't have money. That's a fact!! We don't go on vacations or spend our money frivolously.
We also HAVE to have internet for Tyler's school. He's required to log-on to his school site every single day and he has homework on there and everything. It's a half-online school. We don't HAVE to have our cell phones, though. They're nice but definitely a luxury we can live without. We plan on just not paying for them because we cannot cancel them (400 bucks!!!) and we cannot pay them. We'll just have to get a land-line and maybe a pre-paid cell phone for Tyler to take with him to work and such. Pretty basic. We'll see how it works out, though.
We've cut our budget down to the bare necessities, believe it or not. I seriously feel like we're always having to explain ourselves ya know? People assume things all the time and they're wrong. Mostly always totally wrong.
We don't buy clothes, we don't vacation, we don't go out to eat unless we have gift certificates, we don't go to movies without certificates unless it's the dollar theater, we don't buy brand-name anything, we don't buy ANYTHING.
Our credit cards and loans were to cover the following: rent, car payments, insurance, food, medical, gasoline, phone. The BASICS. Nothing else!!! So please don't get the idea that we're big spenders that put ourselves into this debt.
Blame it on my falling apart body.
Just a FYI. The washer and dryer we got on sale and they were front load and they saved us OVER 100 DOLLARS A MONTH ON UTILITIES. Beat that!!! Since we sold them and inherited my grandmother's huge, old clunker machines our utilities are over 100 a month just for electrical alone IN THE SUMMER!!! Dead serious it's the washer and dryer. We don't run things around the clock.
We're really not stupid. We've just had a lot of trials befall us and I believe that we've been required to go through these things to learn lots of lessons for ourselves and probably to help others, too.
Okay, anyway, now we'll see where this military thing goes to!! If it works out he'll be in Basic Training by JANUARY 2010!!!!!!! And enlisted in a week or two!!! Can you believe it??? WOWSERS!!!
So those of you who know us pretty well know that we've always struggled financially. We've been in debt for years and I know that most have assumed it's been because we spend like a couple of idiots.
Well, I'm going to clear a few things up, but mostly I'm going to address the auto industry.
When Tyler and I first got married I had a job and so did Tyler. We both had okay jobs. Mine was the better of the two. I had benefits and salary and Tyler worked as a grunt doing Heating & Air Conditioning for a business that was slowly going out of business.
Within a month, give or take a few days, I got pregnant unexpectedly. I was on birth control and we both wanted to be more financially stable before having children, but God and Lacie both had different plans. She came before we were ready.
I got sick while pregnant with her and almost suffered a miscarriage! My Dr. told me to QUIT my job and get on bed rest or lose my baby. So I quit. I was not sacrificing my own child for stupid money.
I have a bad back, have had a bad back for some time, and Tyler's back wasn't perfect either, so we opted to get a four-door car. We had a two-door, my own I brought into the marriage, and it was just too much pulling the seat forward and bending over carrying heavy things. We learned with a move that it was a very painful thing to endure and figured that with a baby in a car seat it would be even worse.
So with our zero-interest car that we owed a mere 10,000.00 on it and the payments were manageable. We went to Larry H. Miller Used Car Sales in Sandy, Utah, and brought our nice car with us (well, sorda nice. It had a dent in one door and the tranny had died on us TWICE already & been replaced with obviously not a new one each time) and asked what they had that we could do a trade for.
We had 1,000.00 bucks with us for a down payment.
Now this is where we got royally screwed. Totally taken advantage of. We were naive, foolish, young, trusting. We traded in our car and gave them the 1,000.00 bucks (CRY CRY!!!!) for a car worth only about 9,000.00 or 10,000.00 at best. They told us it was worth a lot more than that but it was a brand new car so wasn't in the books yet. It was a Chevy Cavalier, 4-door, automatic, gold, 5,000 miles on it. (We suspect it had been a rental previously).
They took our car that was a midnight blue with a sunroof and in perfect condition minus the smell dent in the door (very easily fixed they assured us) and told us they'd do the trade for about 5,000.00. HALF of what we owed on it. So that was 6,000.00 that was supposed to be taken out of the new car that they said was worth 20,000.00. That's a load of BULL CRAP!!! That car was NOT worth half that much! So we paid them 21,000.00 dollars and they got a FREE car and 1,000.00 in cash!!!
So we got this new crappy, ugly little car (four-doors) for 21,000.00, gave them a nice car for free, and had a payment of 330.00 a month and insurance that was around 500.00 a month (due to bad driving & paying full liability, and Geico is expensive), and these two bills were to be what has sunk us to this day.
We had no idea how awfully we were screwed. We had no idea what pains and trials this would bring us, what sorrows and hardships and debt. It caused us so much pain!!! To this day we are paying for this car.
This car kept us from getting a house of our own when Tyler finally got a good job working out at Tooele Army Depot (he was forced to quit because of nepotism, but for even stupider and more selfish reasons I cannot write here).
We struggled for a while and would NOT have survived had the Church not stepped in and helped us until Tyler got another good job, a year or so later, working for Gunther's Comfort Air in American Fork.
Meantime I got pregnant again and got really sick in this pregnancy.
We did NOT believe in Mother being away from tiny little babies, making day care raise them, while Mother went out to seek her own selfish pursuits in life (i.e. school, career). So I stayed home with the chicklets.
I got very sick and had to have surgery WHILE pregnant with Sophie, the 2nd baby. I was induced early and a tiny, sick baby was born. She wasn't as tiny as they get of course, but for US she was tiny and not ready to be here. I was in labor for 25 hours because she didn't want to come yet; she wasn't ready.
Anyway, after she was born my health deteriorated very rapidly. Nobody believed me. I suffered a great deal. More than anybody knew.
I was diagnosed with Post Postpartum Depression, and then about a year after was diagnosed with severe Acid Reflux Disease & Hypothyroidism. I then broke my foot and walked on it for months before I finally got it checked out. That cost us. But I didn't want to be the weak one, ya know?
Then I got Mono. Then I got into a car accident and hurt my back and neck and broke my right hand. Then I got mono again. Then my thyroid spiraled out of control again.
The entire time I was gaining weight, we were falling further and further into debt.
We took out credit cards and school loans and personal loans at the credit unions to pay our BASIC NECESSITIES. We used them to pay for food, gasoline, insurance, medicine, co-payments, medical debts, phone, you name it. We were SUNK, and continued to sink.
When we moved to Orem we did do one stupid thing. Instead of paying down our stupid car that had been financially killing us for years we used our tax return to buy new furniture. We had finally caught up on most our debt, but school, and so felt like we could finally get something nice.
Well, that would prove to be our next biggest mistake.
I got sicker and sicker. If any of you could possibly comprehend what I've been going through then you'd have some empathy for what we went through, what I went through. It was very, very hard. Not to mention stress from relationships I cannot name here, either.
The medication I was taking for the Postpartum Depression and Anxiety I suffered from had two major side effects: serious drowsiness & insomnia. I didn't realize this.
Well, then I got more sick. I'd wake up in a paralyzed state, LITERALLY! I was exhausted beyond description. My mono flared back up, and I was in severe amounts of pain, weak, SICK.
I then was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea, Migraines (had them daily), and my Endometriosis began to spread and cause more pain and suffering.
I tried to keep a job. I had one for 6 months before I had to quit.
Now I've been diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis.
I have several diseases that do get debilitating. I don't even know if I've listed everything here.
But the point is, I can almost NOT have a job because of these illnesses I have. They cause MAJOR amounts of pain and suffering, sickness, weakness, fatigue. I cannot even begin to describe it!!
So these were adding to our debt.
Then Tyler lost his job.
Now we've sunk.
We have more than 2200 a month MINIMUM going out and just over 1300 coming in. That's impossible to live by.
So that's why we're where we're at.
P.S. If I lost weight I would NOT lose some of these disease contrary to popular belief. Stop blaming me for our circumstances. I've done my absolute BEST I possibly could do to help, believe me! So has Tyler.
THE END.
I went to my Euro-Gyn today for the 3rd time. The last time I went he put a camera in my bladder (not recommended as past-time entertainment).
Today he told me I have Interstitial Cystitis. It's a non-curable disease of the bladder.
I also have Endometriosis in the bladder, as presumed.
So no wonder for all the pain!!
Now I have 3 more meds to add to my daily routine of medications. Not sure if I can afford them so it just may have to sit on the back burner along with my Acid Reflux meds. I'm pretty darn sure I'm getting an ulcer because of the untreated Reflux. The pain is getting more intense than I care to admit.
The bladder disease I have is incurable and will need to be operated on in the future. He told me they don't know what causes it or if it's inherent but that those who have Hypothyroidism and Endometriosis tend to get it, but not always, they're just linked somehow and they don't know how.
Pretty much my bladder can't hold as much as a normal persons, I'm more inclined to frequent infections and I can't go see my reg doc for those, I have to be tested via catheter YIPEEEEE!!!!!
The disease explains the pain I have, and it's pretty narly pain. Certain foods and drink aggravate it as well, and the list is kinda big of foods and drinks to avoid. Not sure if I'll be able to stick to that. A couple of the things on the list are lemons and tomatoes. I LOVE these two foods!!!
Anyway, I could go into detail on what this disease entails and what it's done to my bladder but instead I'll just provide a link for y'all to read yourselves.
He didn't remove the Endometriosis from my bladder because he said it wasn't necessary. It does cause pain so whatever.
Okay so click on the words above to see what they're about to understand me, k?
Also, another interesting thought. I'm really kinda grateful that Tyler's truck broke down when we were together and during the day because if not it would've broken down while Tyler was at work! That's in the middle of the night and his phone doesn't work. He'd be completely stranded and there wouldn't be a store open to help. It would've been BAD. So that was a blessing! It had to happen regardless, so thank God that it happened when and where it did!
Okay now back to "mothering" my sinus and ear infections and sore throat and aching belly
Well things are not working out at Tyler's job, afterall. Either he has to stay there and get LESS than his unemployment or quit and keep his unemployment or have nothing coming in at all!
Talk about getting screwed!!
His boss and nice and all and likes Tyler and wants to keep him, but this is the deal.
He has cut out ALL driving time in pay, and Tyler does a LOT of driving!!!
We're talking 2-3 hours or more of driving per night! PLUS, the gas!
He has to drive to Murray and then from there to Riverdale. VERY FAR. It's not worth it! He spends 100+ in gas in his truck a week, at the minimum. That's more than a hundred from each puny check. It's 4.25 an hour less than what he was making at his previous job, and frankly, that wasn't even enough for us to get by. We have too many bills and debts to get as little as he's getting. We're sinking again and it's really frustrating. And now without a car for me I cannot work the job I have so I've practically been demoted and from what I can tell she's finding someone to take my place. So yeah. That's the end of that. Without a car I CANNOT do that job.
My brother gave us a car, which is was good brothers do, the only thing is it needs a part we have to order that will take a week and Tyler's never home to order it let alone install it!!!!
He's gone from 5:30 at night until 7 or 8:am the next day. He sleeps from then until about 4:00 or 5:00. So yeah, that's how much time he gets to do other things (1 hour!!!!). It's IMPOSSIBLE to work with, and for the tiny wage that he's getting it's not worth it!!
"a job is a job" does not work when it's not making a difference and it's actually making things worse.
Plus he's gone Friday and Saturday and Sunday nights to school and work. It's just ridiculous!! So no dates, no FHE, no running errands, NOTHING.
If he was making decent money then I wouldn't mind! I WOULD NOT MIND. But he is not.
He HATES it. I have encouraged him to keep the job and try to make it work but he does NOT want to go. He does NOT want to be there making jack squat, driving all over the place for nothing, and being around really foul-mouthed, drug-addicted, smoking & drinking and porn-watching men for hours at a time and only getting paid for 2/3 of the time with them, or less.
I guess we're going to see what happens. He's talking to Department of Workforce Services and, well, he may not have a choice.
Until he can find a better job we just may be screwed for a while longer.
This is totally unfair. GRRRRR.
Oh, and btw, he doesn't even work 40 hours a week!!! So it's not even possible to get overtime. With all the hours he's gone he doesn't get paid for all of them. Last night was 6 hours but we was gone ALLLLLLLLLL night long and all morning long!! The night before it was 8 hours and he was gone way longer than that. So pretty much this is a waste!!!!
And you know what sucks? If he QUITS he loses all of his benefits!! Then we'll for sure be out everything. We won't have a truck anymore, or food, or a house, or phones, internet, NOTHING. We'll be homeless.
And who cares?
Well, nobody who could help anyway.
I guess those who think they know better than us and think they are smarter than us have a million ideas as to what we can do and why we're where we're at, but if the tables were turned I'm sure you wouldn't be a cent off better than we are because if it's one thing Tyler and I are NOT it is being stupid.
Okay there was my little vent and frustration.
