Life Is No Party

I know that there are some of you that simply do not understand sharing feelings online. Here's why I do it. 1. I feel it has the potential to reach others out there who need it; it will help them 2. it helps me feel better 3. it's good for others to hear what others are feeling and going through so that they know that nobody is a robot and we all have feelings and deserve compassion and empathy. So if you do not like reading about my "feelings" then just stop and please, no more condescending, "well-meaning", critical and judgmental emails and comments to me. Just bug off if you don't like it. 

Okay now that I got that out I can go on :)

Our trip home from Virginia was not without a few bumps and adventures on the way. It took us 4 days to get home. That's what happens when you have Buddy Passes. They're so unreliable. But on top of those nasty things, the Army messed up with Tyler's paperwork so made us stay a day over. Civvies who do the paperwork don't ever go above and beyond nor do they act like they care that they're messing around with people's LIVES and families here. So it cost us SO much money. We had to change flights, add hotels and car rental days, food, gas, etc. It was horrible on our wallet and our psyches, but it was good, so good, to be together for those days. I just feel bad that it robbed our children of those days with their father. But I suppose everything happens for a reason. 
We had many wonderful people step up and offer to help us find a way home. It was a miracle how things worked out. My mom got busy notifying her many email groups of our situation and many, many people jumped to our aid!! We're eternally grateful to these people who helped! Tyler's sister helped fly us home, too, when our Buddy Passes didn't work. 
We went from Virginia to Boston, Boston to Las Vegas, Las Vegas to Salt Lake City. We stayed in Boston for a whole day and night and WOW it was an amazing place! We were right down-town historical Boston. We stayed at the oldest running hotel in the country and it was surreal for us. Cost us a pretty penny, though, but we had no other choice unless we wanted to sleep on the dirty streets and possibly get mugged lol. We also got to stay the night in Vegas at a member's home. They fed us and took such good care of us! Like a 5-star hotel!! They wanted to pay our way home but Tyler's sister beat them to it. They were such a wonderful couple!

Since we've been home, we've been able to do a lot of things together as a family. We've seen some movies, gone to Trafalga for bumper cars, carnival rides, XD theatre, arcade games, and more. It was a blast! We also got to go to Utah's Hogle Zoo. That was so fun! The girls had so much fun there! And best of all we've been to the Temple several times to help do one of my best friend's family Temple work. It was AMAZING and truly the work of God.
Besides having to deal with unecessary and exaggerated drama, things were really, really good! And it went by too fast. Of course. 

Tyler leaves today for South Korea. We are not happy. We are dreading the likelihood that our family will be split apart for TWO YEARS!!!!!!
There are many who are trying to stay positive for us, which we appreciate, but I think we deserve to cry about it, too. It's all very hard and discouraging. It's almost too much to bear.
Tonight so far we've been crying. There's no party going on over here! Just heartache, despair, sorrow, fear, hope, sadness, anger, confusion, humbleness, prayers, and more.
The girls beg Tyler to stay home.
I cannot believe he's leaving already, and for so very long!

You know, it's one thing to have a family member or close friend go away for a while, but when it's YOUR SPOUSE it's waaaaay different. We're used to sleeping in bed next to each other, our intimacy, being best friends, doing everything together, and experiencing everything in life together. Now being forced apart is torturous.
People say "I could never do that". well, neither can we. But we don't have a choice so we deal with it. Other people say "I know how you feel. My husband has gone on business trips for x amount of time" You can know a tiny bit, but really not as much. Being gone for weeks at a time vs months at a time..... um, big difference. Much harder. My mom can't even bear to think about what it'd feel like to have my dad gone for 6 months to 2 years. It's just too much, ya know?

What gets me even more upset than anything is knowing there are people out there that do not apreciate or support our soldiers and families. It makes me SICK. How ungrateful and selfish and self-centered are these people!! Do you even realize the HUGE SACRIFICE our family is going through and other families like ours? Do you understand? Do you care? Are you capable of having feeling for someone else's situation besides your own? 
Right now we both feel like there are some that are only thinking of how this is affecting them and not us. He feels slightly smothered. But meh, what can ya do, right?

So Tyler leaves today. He flies to VA, then from VA to Detroit, then Detroit to we think Tokyo for a gas-stop, then to Seoul Korea where he'll get a bus ticket for a 4 hour ride to Camp Carroll for inprocessing. We have no idea where he'll go after that and we have no idea if we'll get to come over later to join him or not.
You know, him doing this is better than serving a mission. 1. he's safer 2. he can use skype 3. he can use phones whenever not just twice a year 4. he can come home to visit 1-2 a year 5. he's getting paid for it. It's not worse than a mission as some seem to think lol.

Anyway, this time Tyler leaving is a lot harder than the first time. It's WAY harder. And it's making us both sick. I feel bad for both my girls and for us. Our situation isn't one that anybody can be jealous of, that's for sure, BUT, our marriage is soooo strong and our family so tight! The Lord has greatly blessed us and kept us and he's blessed our family with His Spirit and I KNOW that because of our obedience to Him that we've been blessed. It's almost as if God has been carrying us through all of this.

Honestly, we are not your average military family. It seems as if other military families handle this just fine and don't mind being apart so much. But with us it's pure torture and we hate every minute of it, BUT, we know it's right, we know it's what the Lord wants of us, of Tyler. So, we "go and do as the Lord doth command" (1 Nephi 3:7). 

Please, if you will, pray that we'll be able to join Tyler in Korea soon! And pray that we're all kept safe and strong!
Thank you for all your support!

And thank you mom and dad for all the sacrifices you have made for us! For the money you've given us, the home to live in, the food, the spirituality we've needed, the support, and more. You haven't been intrusive or manipulative, you haven't been worrying about your feelings above ours, and you've been a huge blessing to us, being an answer to many prayers! I know Heavenly Father has blessed you for it and will continue to do so. 
And thank you to our best friends who have stood by our side through it all! Through the ups and downs, and for your support and encouragement, for your listening ear and more. 
And thanks to all other family and friends who have been here for us, supported us, blessed us, prayed for us, helped us, encouraged us, loved us both, accepted us both. You support me, you support Tyler and if you support Tyler you support me. We are ONE. :)

okay, now I better get off so I can supposedly and maybe get some sleep.