Time drags or time flies, either way it still passes.

So here I am finally updating my blog again! I haven't been able to get on here much to update so I'm sorry for the major delay.


Lots has been happening around here and most of it has been excruciatingly stressful for me, and my girls, and my family that I'm living with.


I have been deeply and painfully hurt more than I can ever think of before in my life just in the last day and I don't see any efforts in this being rectified. I just wish SO MUCH that Latter Day Saints would truly try to be beings of true Integrity, Loyalty, and strictly keep the sacred covenants they've made in holy Temples with God. 
People who choose to rationalize their behavior cause so much hurt and pain for others, especially those closest to them, and they don't see the hurt hearts of their loved ones as the real issue but that the hurt loved ones must be out of line to feel that way.


Anyway, that's all I'll say about that. I just have been thinking a LOT lately about Integrity, Honesty, and Obedience.


I've been looking for every opportunity to teach my little girls these most important and essential virtues. I enjoy teaching my girls, and I always feel directed by the Holy Ghost when doing so, and I know just what to say. It's the most amazing feeling. 
Reminds me of when I was serving a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to the people of Buenos Aires Argentina. I love teaching the Truth and WITH THE SPIRIT.




Last week I had surgery. It was highly recommended by two of my doctors so I finally had it done. The pain I experience daily is more than one can bear without help from outside sources (such as a pill or two, or three). I know that I complain a lot, and I know I seem pathetic to many, but the fact is people don't REALLY CARE what you're experiencing and going through unless they've been there before and understand exactly what it's like or they're currently going through the same things right now.
I am finding so many good friends online that understand and support me and it's been a huge blessing!
Other Army Wives and other women who suffer from Interstitial Cystitis have become a HUGE strength to me! And a vast resource of information as well. It's been wonderful and I don't feel as alone as I could be.


The surgery went well. When I was coming to from the anesthesia I remember dreaming that Tyler wasn't there and I was frantic for him to be there. I was so distraught over his absence that I did not realize that I was thrashing around and they had to hold me down. How embarrassing is that? I've NEVER woken from anesthesia in such a horrible state! 
So I bruised my knee and tore my stitches a little, making them bleed, and only causing myself further pain. I guess I wasn't breathing at all because I vaguely remember them making me use an inhaler a couple of times and them giving me more meds and yada yada. 
Then my mom came in and I was totally groggy. In and out. I remember them saying every time I fell asleep I'd completely stop breathing. It's funny cuz I always warn the nurses that I have Sleep Apnea and they assume that keeping me propped up with help. lol. NOPE. I don't have the obstruction type that most people have (cuz they're fat or they have tiny air passages or enlarged adnoids, etc), but cuz my brain does not send the signal for me to breath. It sucks royally. I will never sleep well, or at all, without a CPAP machine or oxygen. Kinda a bummer huh? lol oh well!! 


Then I was super pleasantly surprised that my best friend Kristen showed up!! I had hoped she would be able to but wasn't counting on it since she's such a super busy lady working so much and taking care of her kiddos, but she came!!! It was SO NICE seeing her and she immediately cheered me up!! I was so grateful that two of the most important people in my life were there with me. I felt safe and comforted and finally could calm down enough that they could release me. 


Well, since the surgery my pain has only worsened. Honestly it's MUCH worse than I even let off it to be. I feel so awful that I'm not up and about and helping do anything. I do feel I'm doing well with the girls considering my state, but I wish I could do better. I'm especially distraught, still, over my husband not being home with me. 
Anyway, I've had a fever for 5 days now since I've been checking and my abdomen swelling won't go away. I've lost a couple pounds, too. It's hard to eat because it hurts and I get nauseated easily. 
So the doc had me come in a week early to check me out. He said to just keep an eye on myself to make sure the pain doesn't get worse or doesn't get better at all and if my fever stays or gets higher that it's a possibility that I have a little internal bleeding going on. Wonderful huh? lol.


Now on another interesting and sad note for me, my brother, Erik, is leaving for the Army in 3 days!!!!! I'm going to miss him terribly! I'm sad I probably won't see him again for YEARS. He's going to training. Okay he'll be back for Christmas that lucky dog since my husband isn't allowed the same privileges (nor do we have the money for it even if he COULD come home) so I will see him again for a couple of days at least.
He's doing infantry, the crazy man. hahaha. But I'm sure he'll do so great and that he'll love it! Erik's such a stud! But I'm very sad he's leaving.


Lacie is having a hard time with kids in school. The boys around here seem to be a little perverted or something. They relentlessly tease Lacie trying to kiss her or pretending to kiss her, trying to look up her shirt, spanking her bottom, throwing things at her, and calling her names. I don't want to tell her that boys do that if they like you because I don't think it's fair for her to accept this mean trait from boys and be okay with a jerk later on in life thinking "it's cuz he loves me that he's such a jerk". Nope. So I tell her to ignore them, walk away, tell them to grow up, and to go tell her teacher right away. At any rate I keep her teacher well informed of the happenings at her school.
Sophie has bad dreams still and asks me sometimes if her daddy is dead. It's awful! Even though she sees him sometimes on the internet talking to her, she still fears this. She's becoming more used to him being gone now, which is good, but she's still very clingy and emotional. 
Both my girls are emotional.
And suffering from depression that I'm not quite sure how to combat at this time. Especially since I can't drive and hardly walk or play or do anything. 
I do read to them a lot and encourage their cute picture drawing and have them in dance class and hopefully starting music classes soon. 
So I'm doing the best I can with what I've got.


I'm still living at my parents home and they're pretty much all that I have family-wise that's been supportive to me and my girls. 
My ward has been WONDERFUL, too! They've taken the girls so much to help and it's so wonderful and the girls love it and need it!


So there's the update for you.
NO we don't know if we're going to Korea yet. Apparently we were misinformed of being approved to go over there. WE HAVE NOT. It's NOT been approved and they're not any where near approving it either. So we're just sitting here frustrated beyond words and Tyler's lonely without us and depressed and everything else. I pray he clings to the Church and it's members while there. They'll be a huge support and blessing in his life. 


Please pray for us. We need the prayers again, very desperately. 
I cannot divulge everything on here, but I shared quite a bit already and try as I may to be positive and count my blessings every single day, life pretty much is the pits right now.


Thanks for reading another novel by me, if you read it.