Losing More Weight! And other thoughts and updates

I am so proud of myself for sticking to this diet! It's been very difficult, but so worth it so far!! I've lost a total of 30 lbs now!!! I'm feeling so good!
The pain I have hasn't gone away. Some days are worse than others, but I'm getting through.
Tyler called home on Saturday and we talked for 3 1/2 minutes. Hardly any time at all!! But it was really good to hear his voice! I ended up crying at the end of the call and tried to mask it from him. Not sure if I succeeded or not, but I think I did. The girls got to say hi to him for a minute and it made him emotional, too. Sophie said, "See you tomorrow, dad!" It was sad! She's really having a hard time with it! She's having issues with potty-trained stuff and her pacifier, sleeping, eating, everything! Sometimes my girls really act up or get overly-emotional; I wish everyone would realize and understand why and be patient with them. Lots of people are, thank goodness. Her primary teachers were so good with her today! They said she did wonderful in class and when I picked her up she was so happy! When I'd dropped her off she clung to me and withdrew inside again, broke my heart! I know people don't "approve" of her pacifier, but too bad, I'm her mom and I know it's something she needs right now. She needs as much comfort as she can get and I see no reason to tear her away from things like this while her daddy is gone. She's having a very difficult time coping with it.
Mother's Day is coming up! I'm very grateful for my parents because they're going to take my girls out shopping for me! That makes me so happy because I was feeling really bad that Mother's Day wouldn't be Mother's Day for me at all since Tyler's gone and nobody thinks about single mothers on that day so they get over-looked. Okay not nobody thinks about them, but it has appeared that way to me, unfortunately. My girls are too young to know when the day is here and too young to go shopping for me, etc. I am really hoping Tyler can call home that day! It's such a special day I think!
Right now I've been needing some ME time. Time to just do what I want to do. I'm not as good as some mothers that can just go and go and go and never have "me" time. I just can't do it. It helps me to have breaks where I can think and recharge my batteries, so to speak.
During this time while Tyler's been gone I've been blessed with strength from Heavenly Father that I wouldn't have had on my own, no matter what. But everybody has their limits. I don't have anybody to come home to at night and nobody to confide in to about my deepest feelings and thoughts like I used to. I really feel for single mothers. I think people are unfair to them for the most part, and I feel that their lot is much harder than normal. 
I'm so glad we could make it to church today. It was really nice to go and feel the Spirit and renew it for me and my little girls. It's so peaceful! Tyler's information was in our ward's announcement paper handed out in Sacrament Meeting. It was so cool to see that!! I wish they'd give me the opportunity to say how he's doing in Relief Society like the moms of missionaries get to. Oh well. It's okay. 
So Tyler's graduation is exactly one month from today, Monday! (when I say we went to church TODAY I mean yesterday lol). I cannot believe it!! I hope to get his BCT Graduation invitation soon and the details so I can book plane tickets and rent a car. I'm praying and hoping that we can drive him to AIT in VA. I cannot book or plan anything until 2 weeks or less before his graduation. It's frustrating having to wait! But that's the military's slogan: hurry up and wait! lol
I've been meeting lots of military spouses online and I'm loving it! What support!! We understand each other like nobody else does and it's so wonderful!! 
I just found out "today" that one of my friends passed away yesterday. It was so shocking and upsetting to me! She was such a sweet and good person! She would write me emails of encouragement, support and love. She was so charitable! I will really, really miss her!! 
Lacie graduates from Kindergarten at the end of this month! I cannot believe it!! My baby is growing up and I hate it and love it at the same time. I cannot wait for this Summer! I have so many plans and ideas for me and the girls while Tyler is gone and I'm really really hoping I can do all of it! I don't want to regret anything and I want to make good memories and spend time with friends and family as much as possible since we'll be moving soon and be GONE! My schedule has been busy, but now that my school is over with it's been a little better. I just cannot wait until Lacie's out of school, then I'll have even more time!
Tyler's doing really good. Homesick, of course, but doing well! He's now the Platoon's designated artist! He charges $5 bucks per rose he draws on envelopes for soldiers writing home and charges more for custom drawings. He's designing and drawing a mural for his Platoon I think for graduation! I'm so proud of him!!!!
He's also got perfect marks on shooting so far! Wow he's so amazing!!
Today while at church it hit me that Tyler REALLY loves me! He really loves me and our girls so much! Look what he's doing for us!! What a sacrifice to leave your family 24/7 for MONTHS to provide for them!! He didn't insist on me going beyond my abilities and getting a job to support our family; he didn't expect it, either. He hated it when I worked and wanted me home raising his children, where I should be. I realize that sometimes moms HAVE to work. My best friends have to work and I feel for them  because their hearts are in their homes where they know they ought to be but cannot be. I pray for them. One day they will be home again with their children! Don't lose hope!! I am sooo grateful for Tyler's hard work and sacrifice for our family! He's one amazing man and I'm one lucky woman to have him!!! 
I cannot wait to see him and tell him myself how I feel, face-to-face!
Now I hope to get some sleep. I have a couple of busy days, or a busy week, ahead of me!

Packing, Packing, Packing!

So I've been busy packing & packing! It's crazy stuff! Especially since I'm doing it ALL BY MYSELF! Well, cousin Millie came & helped me for a few hours, which was sooo cool, but I had to unpack and repack all the boxes we did cuz I had to line the boxes with plastic bags & put boric acid in them. Ugh! It takes sooooo much longer when having to go through EVERYTHING and line boxes and put poison in!
Last night I dared the under-sink cabinet and found TEN dead roaches! It's a small space for TEN! Yucky yucky yucky!!!!!
I swear I can't wait to be roach-free!
I just pray we don't bring any of these nasties with us! I'm being as careful as I can. There's only one box I forgot to put a bag in but it has poison in it, too.
We plan on doing all our unpacking outside, too. Nothing can be brought into our place! It's crazy and we're going to be dead-tired on Saturday, but it's the only way possible. I just wish we could get more people to help. We've got some men to help move our furniture Saturday morning but nobody else will help with anything else. Typical. I guess I can expect that because the roaches freak people out. I don't blame them, I would be freaked out, too!

So I have a BIG audition coming up! It's for LDS Motion Pictures in Provo at their main studio. It's for the year. Last year I totally blew it and sucked big-time, but this year I was given permission to come back but for more important roles than before. Anyway, I have to have two monologues memorized under 1 minute each and be ready for a cold-read. The cold read isn't too bad but I'm sooo nervous about memorizing monologues! I suck at memorization! And I don't have any monologues ready. Yipes! I'm hoping my cousin Carrie Colton will be able to get me some good ones that will be easy for me to memorize.
If there are any hints out there for memorizing monologues then pleeeease let me know! I need all the help I can get! Anyway, I'm excited nonetheless. It's an audition for the entire year and I really hope I do well enough to get a part or more this coming year.

Tyler's last day of school is today!! yea!!!! Well, it's the last day for his first class. LOL. They're having a party and he's not going to the party. He's only going for the final then coming home. After that we'll get to go to Outback Steakhouse!!! We love that place! We get to go ONLY because we have 3 gift cards from Tyler's boss to me for helping with the company party last year to use there. So yeah, yummy! I can't wait!

Oh, and I want to start a vegetable diet. Is that crazy? It's only for a couple weeks or 3 or 4 to get me started on losing weight and learning to eat less and better than I do. I just keep gaining and I'm really sick of being a fatty!! I won't NOT eat anything else when a special occassion comes around, just need to learn to control what I eat day to day.

So that's it for now! :)