His Grad Packet came!! And I'm proud of my progress!! :)

So, I finally got Tyler's graduation packet in the mail!!!! I was sooo excited! I had the letter with the directions/instruction on it that I have to present when I get there to get in. Cool beans huh?
So I made reservations for a cheap inn that's 1/2 mile away from the base and made reservations for a car, too. I am still waiting to hear if I can take him to AIT or not before I can purchase plane tickets. I'm not sure how to do it with military discounts for my daughters and I and one civi one for maybe my little brother and get us on the same flight and into seats next to each other. argh! Hopefully I can call someone to figure that nonsense out lol.
So I am really proud of myself! Satan, or to be more "politically correct", the Adversary, has been throwing some major curve-balls at me, and it's been through many different sources, and I have come out on top! The most hurtful ones that have thrown me for complete loops have been through people who THINK they are being helpful when in fact they are being extremely detrimental to my happiness and progress; they are completely not supportive yet do not see themselves as being such. Their demeaning, negative, berating comments to me have left me completely stunned and shocked and deeply hurt. They might as well gut me and stomp on my guts and call me the biggest loser that ever slimed across the earth because I don't act the way THEY think I should be, or at least they ASSUME I'm acting a certain way when I'm not. 
I know I'm not making much sense there. I'm trying to be as vague as possible so that I don't give away who these people are or exactly what they said to me. Let's just say that they've been listening to the wrong source and they really and truly believe they were listening to the good source, or the Spirit of God. They were not. And I know this. The Spirit has born witness to me of this and has blessed me with a huge amount of strength and perseverance and peace, and even a little numbness to get past these negative influences in my life. These experiences have been very painful and like a huge big neon sign saying "here are your TRUE friends that LOVE you unconditionally and have Christ-like love and compassion and charity for you, despite your weaknesses, and here are those who are not!". And also through this some of my very best friends have come forward! They have followed promptings from the Spirit which have lead them to help me in many different ways. These people have been friends, acquaintances, and relatives alike. Thank you so much for your angelic support! Your love, acceptance, and willingness to help and support me and my family has been a great blessing to us! I know God will bless you for your efforts!!
Anyway, so I'm proud of myself for doing as well as I have been considering everything we've been through lately. Sophie's badly broken foot, her hand being smashed (almost broke her fingers), my health problems that landed me in the ER and have been hard to deal with since, and more I cannot mention here.
I also have stuck strictly to my diet. I have not wavered one bit. No cheating at all!! I feel really good about myself because of this. I have found such inner strength that I forgot I had! I have lost about 40 lbs now altogether! Not bad huh? I've dropped 4 sizes! I work out twice a week at least, also.
I have been able to attend the Temple, go to church every week (even when I am sick), read the scriptures, pray, clean some of the house hahaha, take care of my beautiful daughters, and have been starting to organize some things that have needed attention for some time now.
I am so very grateful for all the many blessings that I have in my life!! I know that the Lord is blessing Tyler and I for our faithfulness throughout all the trials we have had to go through. We are still being tried, but our Heavenly Father has made our burdens seem light, and we can more clearly see blessings now than before. I am extremely grateful for a steady income, NO chance of Tyler losing his job! And for benefits we so greatly needed. I am grateful for this awesome opportunity that my family has to be our own family unit when we move to wherever the Lord (through the Army) takes us. 
This has been VERY hard. One of the absolute hardest things I have ever had to do! And I cry for my babies and my husband. But I know that the Lord is mindful of me and my family and that He is taking very good care of us! 
Speaking of sad things. Just two things I'll mention here about the girls.
Lacie cried for TEN MINUTES in school today while her class made Father's Day cards. She then sang for her a class a song about daddy that she made up. Her teacher said it was very sweet and touching. My poor little Lacie!! She can't forget saying goodbye to daddy in the hotel the last night we saw him. She can't get over that. But I'm very glad that she can cry about it. She feels much better afterwards.
Sophie got all dressed up today and came up to me and said "I am ready to go see daddy now. Let's go get in the airplane". She was ready to go! She got her shoes on that she said daddy said she could wear, got her coat, and went to the front door and opened it. Broke my heart!!! She then called grandma Pearson and told her that we are going to the airplane now to go see daddy. My poor little girls!
I try my best to keep a good attitude, a happy face, and not get depressed in front of the girls. I do very well at this I think. At least I give it my very best. I talk to the girls about what daddy is doing and that he loves them and misses them and wants to be with them so much, but he has to work so hard for us and I tell them that daddy is a real hero and is a real man and is a very good man and we are so lucky to have him to take such good care of us and that we'll see him soon. They tell people now that daddy is a good man and a hero. It's so cute!!
Okay, this is getting really long and it's now 2:45 am. I wish I could sleep at night! I need a new CPAP face mask and a new mattress!! LOL
Thanks to everyone for your love, help, prayers, support, compassion, encouragement, charity, and so forth! We need it and we appreciate it so much! Know that whatever efforts you make in our behalf you are blessed for! They do not go unnoticed!! Also, whatever you do for the "least of these" you've done it unto God. Don't forget that!
We love you!!!

Things Are Going Great!!

Things are going so well right now! Well, as well as they can be haha. I believe that we're seeing blessings now after the trial of our Faith.
Tyler is doing really well at Basic Training, even though his Platoon is full of immature whiners that are making it hard on the entire Platoon (they're the worst out of 4 Platoons), but besides that he's doing so well and having fun, in between the boredom of repetition haha. He's so funny.
School is almost over for me and I'm so excited! I can finally get some time to start going through all our things. I have to book our flights for Tyler's graduation, reserve the hotel on base some time, rent a car, pay the bills, help Lacie finish up with school, and MAYBE think about starting my writing back up! But we'll see, we'll see.
Right now I'm reeling really good. I'm happy, I'm blessed, I'm VERY grateful and I'm remaining Faithful forever to my God and my hubby.
I'm so proud of Tyler!!! He's working SO hard for us to take care of us! He's a REAL MAN and I am so happy to have one, they're so rare!!! (I know some men don't have the opportunities that Tyler has had so please don't be offended, I don't think less of you at all, ever! We all do the best with what we have and that's what matters the most!).
I am also so proud of myself! I've lost over 20 lbs now in 2-3 weeks. It's so wonderful! But I'm not done yet. I'm bound and determined to get to my goal weight that NOTHING'S stopping me! I'm getting exercise and eating RIGHT and staying 100% true to it. 
I am just so grateful for everything the Lord's blessed us with and we have been through sooooooo much already and right now this peace I feel makes it all worth it!
To know I can go to the Temple when I want to, that I do what I know is right, that Tyler and I are both doing the very best we can and we're seeing actual results this time around, it's just such a blessing and such a remarkable feeling!!
Now back to my late-night movie. Finally a few minutes to myself! haha!

A Mini Update..... he leaves in 13 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe how fast time is running by! My Tyler leaves in 13 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lacie and Sophie are being prepped by Tyler himself and they are sad. Sophie feels like he's leaving her because she was bad and Lacie's just distraught over the entire thing. She's a daddy's girl through and through and has been since day 1!!
I'm sincerely hoping that I can keep my girls busy and happy and satisfied with life while their daddy is gone.
Remember, he's been with all of us pretty much 24/7 since he lost his job over a year ago!!! This is going to be the exact opposite for us. Here 24/7, then gone 100%.
I have a lot of plans on how to keep us busy and happy and I really hope they can work out!
Money will be EXTREMELY tight but I am praying that creditors and doctors will work with us on payments so that I can afford to get the girls swimming lessons, maybe even dance or martial arts lessons. I think they'd be so happy to do something like that!
I want them to take piano lessons and I'd love to teach them both violin lessons. I'd have to rent the miniature violins, though, and that's 30.00 a month for the both of them. Well, that's what it used to be when I used to teach Lacie.

I have a wonderful ward member who is going to be watching Sophie for me during the day and getting Lacie to and from school. What an answer to prayers she was!!! And she has girls my girls' ages and they're in the same classes and everything. I'm so happy about that!!

I'm still trying to decide on going to school in the Summer. If I do I'll have to find another babysitter. I'd go for only 2 reasons: 1. my own thing away from home to keep myself busy in my own personal endeavors and 2. for the loan money. Yeah the money reason's not the best reason, but that money we could use to pay off a little more immediate and impatient debt and also to use so that we can fly to Tyler's basic training graduation in May or June sometime.

Right now we're trying to cut from our lives those that only have negative things to say and think about us. It's been very hard doing this because, unfortunately, some of them have been family. Here's what I said to one of our cousins last night: "They say that blood is thicker than water. But what if that blood is poisonous? Do you keep the poisonous blood or switch to pure water?" Honestly, what makes more sense? I'm pretty sure the "family" that have been giving us problems won't be reading this anyway, and we both have such huge families that almost none of you can even begin to guess who these people are. But just the same, I won't mention who they are, and it's not just been family. It's been "friends" and acquaintances. It's hurt, but it's been more painful to have these negative, self-righteous and judgmental people in our lives than cutting them out.

Okay, Tyler and I have had a few opportunities to go to the Temple together thanks to my parents!!! My parents are already super busy but they realize the importance for Tyler and I to have these times alone to go to the Temple and on dates and what-not. Also thanks to Michelle!! And to Destiny and sometimes Tyler's parents and other friends and family here and there who have let us leave our girls with them so that we can be together.
We're trying to create more memories to keep with us while we're separated.

Oh, and we got more ammo for both my guns :D hee hee. Cannot ever be too prepared, right?? Tyler wants to make sure I'm 100% set for while he's away and unable to physically protect us. Great thing is that I know we'll be protected. I do wish we lived in a better place, though! The neighborhood has been getting creepier all the time with the families moving out and single partiers moving in!

Okay, now I should get to bed. I have a test coming up, like usual, and we have more organizing, cleaning, errands and other important odds and ends to attend to. If we seem "out of it" or forgetful or untouchable don't think it's cuz we have something against you at all, it's cuz we have a lot going on and we're totally wrapped up in ourselves at the moment and I'm sorry if this hurts anybody! We don't mean it. We just really appreciate your love, understanding, patience and prayers! Keep 'em coming!!

GOOD NEWS!!!

So today I took Lacie to get her 9 stitches out of her head and her Dermatologist said that her results had come and it was only an ulcer!!! I was pleasantly surprised and I was SO HAPPY I cried when we left!
Then as we were leaving I got a text message from my little brother, Glenn, that his wife had had their baby early this morning!! She was in labor for TWO HOURS and pushed him out in 15 minutes!! He weighed 7.6 lbs and 18.5 inches long. He has a little mullet lol. And he looks just like his mother, Andrea!! Except his top lip looks like Glenn's haha. They named him Brayden Taylor Pearson. We were so excited to go see him today!

Last night I only had 2 hours of sleep because a lot was on my mind. New problems that arose unexpectedly this week that I cannot mention caused great stress in our family, plus the anxiety of waiting to hear about Lacie's pre-cancerous mole (which, he said, we still have to keep our eyes on just in case) and just thinking about our dire situation.
I laid in bed finally at 3:00am or a little after and said a little prayer. Very calmly and without great emotion but with sincerity and faith and asked Heavenly Father what we need to do to help us. He told me two things just as plain as day and then told me to get up and go downstairs and write down the revelation I was receiving. So I did just that. Since it's personal for my family I won't mention it here, but now Tyler and I are going to follow what I was told as clear and plainly as if God were standing there talking to me face-to-face and put it to the test because Heavenly Father promised me that if we do these 2 things that he will bless us and take care of us.
What I do know without any doubt whatsoever was that I was truly inspired by God and that he spoke with me and gave me very specific things to do and very specific promises if we follow what he asked us to do.
He also told me that Satan has been working very hard on our marriage to make us divorce because if we do then Tyler will not be able to fulfill his mission in this life nor will I, so now we're ready or being prepared for our missions. That's all I can say about that.

This morning I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep again. I got up and checked my email and had received a message from the church saying EXACTLY one of the impressions I'd received so clearly. It was the oddest thing ever! The email was sent at 7:00am and I read it at 7:15am, hours after the revelation I'd received at 3:15am. I knew it was from God.
Go read D&C 88:119 for a very good clue as to what part of the revelation to me was about.

So anyway, there we are. I'm thinking more positive. I figure whatever happens to us isn't by accident and isn't because God doesn't care, but because he loves us and it is NECESSARY for us to go through all these trials. We HAVE to go through them. I don't know why, I just KNOW this for certain. So that gives me peace knowing that none of this is punishment but necessary for our growth and experience.

I also was told that as soon as we get everything in line for the positive changes we are to make or that the changes are completely made that I'll get pregnant again.

But I know that God will take care of us. He always does, if we do what he asks us to do.

Modeling Experience & Spiritual Thoughts

So I modeled for Co/Ma Clothing last night at the Masonic Temple in SLC. It was THE experience. Like THE WEIRDEST experience! lol

So I like Coby's clothes (Co/Ma stands for Coby & Marita) so I like to model them. No I cannot wear my Temple Garments with his clothes, but most models do not wear theirs and I find it as being my WORK they cannot be used all the time, like lifeguards, etc. Anyway, I modeled one of his newest outfits and it was soooo cute! It was very comfortable for me, too. I got to borrow Mollee's "hooker" boots and those were comfy, too. Yeah, I know what most of you are probably thinking. Well, we all have different lines of work and unless my work asks me to be immoral or lose my standards I'm okay with it (I won't break my morals or standards). I LOVE what I do for very many reasons.

Okay, now to get down to what I was originally going to talk about! lol

I have had strange dreams half my life that are very satanic and ritualistic in nature. I haven't always been scared in them, knowing I've been protected in these dreams and they aren't REAL, but they're very detailed, graphic and horrific. I cannot tell my dreams to hardly anybody I know because they are so grotesque and bring a bad spirit.

When we drove up to the Masonic Temple and I saw it for the first time that I can ever remember it struck me hard that I have dreamed about this place. I've had multiple dreams about a certain part of this temple.

On the front, when facing it, to the left of the main steps leading to the main entrance is another entrance. It's barred shut. There are at least 3 sets of different locked doors to go through to reach whatever lies inside. In my dreams I've been able to go into these doors but at night when it's been very dark. VERY dark. There are lights from within but mostly lit by torches on the walls. Anyway, I don't remember everything but I do remember that inside are symbolic Egyptian things for certain and specific ceremonies. Some of which are kinda graphic. I won't go into more detail than that. But when we pulled up to the temple all of these memories flashed back to me. I was suddenly afraid, but not afraid. I was afraid because I knew I wasn't supposed to be here but not afraid because I knew I was protected nonetheless and no harm would come to me.

The entire night I was very numb. There were all sorts of people there. Some nice, some not so nice. Anyway, to make a longer story shorter, there was very hard music and even some nicer music. There were good performances that night and some not so good. The movies they showed on their big projector screen were VERY graphic and horrific and pornographic and were traumatizing to say in the least. There were KIDS there watching this crap!! A band played that was just all crap to me. I couldn't believe how desensitized these people were! The thought came to my mind that oh, this is why people think Obama is a good man. They're desensitized and have been deceived. Just because someone seems "nice" does not mean they're good!!

I was glad that I had the Spirit with me and was protected all night. I felt like I was apart from all the goings-on of the event and like I was in a bubble. Everyone left me alone and I didn't feel tempted to mix or mingle (like I used to) or to join in with anybody for anything. I kept seperate but was still there.

The modeling itself was done and over with extremely quickly. The prep lasted HOURS! I like my fellow models. None are active or LDS (one or the other). I am SURE I was the ONLY Endowed member at this event last night. I felt ever grateful for my iron clad testimony and that I will not let myself be so easily deceived. Common Spiritual reasoning keeps me from falling into the subtle and smooth temptations of Satan and his angels.

I know for sure that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is GOD'S CHURCH & KINGDOM and that all the truths and all the saving ordinances are to be found there-in. I'm sure we can feel the Spirit in other places and experience great and good things elsewhere, but I know for sure that in order to be with God again and our family for eternity, and to have peace, joy and happiness for eternity, that we must follow the teachings, commandments & ordinances that are found within the L.D.S. church.

While members and non-members alike are falling away by the hundreds and even thousands by listening to the subtle whisperings and hard threatenings of Satan and his angels I know that there is a certain peace and sureity that can be found only among God's people and in God's church and being worthy to enter God's Holy Houses.

While people are trying to justify being gay and marrying gay partners, and justifying allowing others to kill their unborn or newly unborn, or justifying allowing our religious freedoms and freedom to worship how, WHERE or what we may, there is still TRUTH out there. There are still fundamental truths that will be the very things that will save us in these last days if we but follow them in faith.

I'm grateful for a husband that NOW has his own testimony and that tries his best to follow the commandments of God and even more importantly, or as important actually, that he follows the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost. I am grateful for my membership in God's kingdom and for the Gift of the Holy Ghost that I have. I am grateful that my family and I are sealed together for Time & all Eternity. Unlike popular belief, you will NOT be with your family in the next life without these Temple and saving ordinances, and I am so grateful that Tyler and I are worthy for them!

Anyway, going to events like the one I went to last night just solidify my testimony even more and for that I am also grateful.

I would like to close this in the Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.