Showing posts with label modeling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label modeling. Show all posts

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Modeling Experience & Spiritual Thoughts




So I modeled for Co/Ma Clothing last night at the Masonic Temple in SLC. It was THE experience. Like THE WEIRDEST experience! lol

So I like Coby's clothes (Co/Ma stands for Coby & Marita) so I like to model them. No I cannot wear my Temple Garments with his clothes, but most models do not wear theirs and I find it as being my WORK they cannot be used all the time, like lifeguards, etc. Anyway, I modeled one of his newest outfits and it was soooo cute! It was very comfortable for me, too. I got to borrow Mollee's "hooker" boots and those were comfy, too. Yeah, I know what most of you are probably thinking. Well, we all have different lines of work and unless my work asks me to be immoral or lose my standards I'm okay with it (I won't break my morals or standards). I LOVE what I do for very many reasons.

Okay, now to get down to what I was originally going to talk about! lol

I have had strange dreams half my life that are very satanic and ritualistic in nature. I haven't always been scared in them, knowing I've been protected in these dreams and they aren't REAL, but they're very detailed, graphic and horrific. I cannot tell my dreams to hardly anybody I know because they are so grotesque and bring a bad spirit.

When we drove up to the Masonic Temple and I saw it for the first time that I can ever remember it struck me hard that I have dreamed about this place. I've had multiple dreams about a certain part of this temple.

On the front, when facing it, to the left of the main steps leading to the main entrance is another entrance. It's barred shut. There are at least 3 sets of different locked doors to go through to reach whatever lies inside. In my dreams I've been able to go into these doors but at night when it's been very dark. VERY dark. There are lights from within but mostly lit by torches on the walls. Anyway, I don't remember everything but I do remember that inside are symbolic Egyptian things for certain and specific ceremonies. Some of which are kinda graphic. I won't go into more detail than that. But when we pulled up to the temple all of these memories flashed back to me. I was suddenly afraid, but not afraid. I was afraid because I knew I wasn't supposed to be here but not afraid because I knew I was protected nonetheless and no harm would come to me.

The entire night I was very numb. There were all sorts of people there. Some nice, some not so nice. Anyway, to make a longer story shorter, there was very hard music and even some nicer music. There were good performances that night and some not so good. The movies they showed on their big projector screen were VERY graphic and horrific and pornographic and were traumatizing to say in the least. There were KIDS there watching this crap!! A band played that was just all crap to me. I couldn't believe how desensitized these people were! The thought came to my mind that oh, this is why people think Obama is a good man. They're desensitized and have been deceived. Just because someone seems "nice" does not mean they're good!!

I was glad that I had the Spirit with me and was protected all night. I felt like I was apart from all the goings-on of the event and like I was in a bubble. Everyone left me alone and I didn't feel tempted to mix or mingle (like I used to) or to join in with anybody for anything. I kept seperate but was still there.

The modeling itself was done and over with extremely quickly. The prep lasted HOURS! I like my fellow models. None are active or LDS (one or the other). I am SURE I was the ONLY Endowed member at this event last night. I felt ever grateful for my iron clad testimony and that I will not let myself be so easily deceived. Common Spiritual reasoning keeps me from falling into the subtle and smooth temptations of Satan and his angels.

I know for sure that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is GOD'S CHURCH & KINGDOM and that all the truths and all the saving ordinances are to be found there-in. I'm sure we can feel the Spirit in other places and experience great and good things elsewhere, but I know for sure that in order to be with God again and our family for eternity, and to have peace, joy and happiness for eternity, that we must follow the teachings, commandments & ordinances that are found within the L.D.S. church.

While members and non-members alike are falling away by the hundreds and even thousands by listening to the subtle whisperings and hard threatenings of Satan and his angels I know that there is a certain peace and sureity that can be found only among God's people and in God's church and being worthy to enter God's Holy Houses.

While people are trying to justify being gay and marrying gay partners, and justifying allowing others to kill their unborn or newly unborn, or justifying allowing our religious freedoms and freedom to worship how, WHERE or what we may, there is still TRUTH out there. There are still fundamental truths that will be the very things that will save us in these last days if we but follow them in faith.

I'm grateful for a husband that NOW has his own testimony and that tries his best to follow the commandments of God and even more importantly, or as important actually, that he follows the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost. I am grateful for my membership in God's kingdom and for the Gift of the Holy Ghost that I have. I am grateful that my family and I are sealed together for Time & all Eternity. Unlike popular belief, you will NOT be with your family in the next life without these Temple and saving ordinances, and I am so grateful that Tyler and I are worthy for them!

Anyway, going to events like the one I went to last night just solidify my testimony even more and for that I am also grateful.

I would like to close this in the Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Moving! AGAIN! And a much needed update!


So, we're moving!! AGAIN!! We moved here only 5 months ago and we're out again! Well, it's getting closer to 6 months, I think.

We finally started to get to know a few people in the ward, too! And the girls do and don't want to move. They WANT to move because we have a major bug problem here and they DON'T want to move cuz they made good friends that are a couple of Mexican girls (illegal aliens, but they're really nice people).

They might be moving back to Mexico soon, but if not they wanted us to let them know of any apartments where we are moving to. I will, for sure, let them know if there are any. Rentals are super hot right now, though. It took us these 5 months to find this place! Everyone does credit checks now and since ours is CRAP we didn't qualify for anything!

The place we're moving to is in Orem, again, and it's a townhome style apartment. I like it a lot and so does Tyler. It has new flooring throughout and has brown wood paneling! lol It's hilarious but we kinda like it. hahaha we're weird!


Tyler is also back in school. YEA!!!!! He's going to Stephen's Henegar in Orem and is doing AWESOMELY AMAZING! All A's so far! I'm sooooo excited for him! Hip hip hooray! He's majoring in something to do with Medical lol. He's taken the complete initiative this time. It's great!

I applied to work at A to Z Building Blocks in AF and I hear tomorrow if I get it or not... sorda. She will schedule an interview with me tomorrow first. So the girls will go there for free for preschool & daycare and I'll work while with them! yea! I hope it works out good. If not I'll look for another daycare/preschool job or a night job. But I HAVE to work. We're just not making it on Tyler's income alone, and my part-time income from acting/modeling. We have way too much debt! It's mostly all medical, then our car, then just loans and a couple credit cards we used to LIVE with.


I am sooo sad! We are selling our washer & dryer! They're SUPER nice and we have LOVED them! Fridgadaire front-load, black. So perfect! We aren't making back all our money, but we're making okay. We'll pay back our parents next week and pay off my credit card, or most of it anyway. We are also selling like everything else! argh. Being poor really blows! We might be selling our table & chairs, too. It's all very hard. But we have to!


Oh, I've been on TV a few times now, and in a few movies, and modeled a few times now. I'm having loads of fun doing that! I make pretty decent money doing that, but the jobs are far between, okay not TOO bad, but not enough. Especially since I'm getting fatter & fatter all the time!! It makes everything harder with weight-gain!


Oh, and my health. I have thyroid disease and had to up the prescription cuz my thyroid was going all bad on me. I also have really bad acid reflux and had to get a higher prescription on that, too. I found out that I do have depression and P.T.S.D. and anxiety and a little bit of paranoia. Nothing, from what the doc can tell, was from what I was born with but I got thanks to my upbringing and some traumatic experiences I've had throughout my lifetime.


Oh, and GoYin? Well, I still stand by that product 100%! Just cannot afford it right now and I seriously HATE making phone calls at all! So we had to pause that. I hope to get back into it someday... but for now I just can't. We have too many other things going on that are more important.


Okay my hands are getting tired from typing. I'm not sure why, but they just are! So cha cha for now! ttyl :)