Peace & Happiness

You know, even though there's a LOT going on in our lives and we've been through a LOT since we've been married, and especially in the last 3-4 years, we still feel peace and happiness of a special type.

No matter what happens and the crap we go through and the crap that is said about us and to us and how we're treated by those who should be called "loved ones" and no matter how much we're judged and how hard we work to be put down again and again we can always know that we're doing our best and that we don't give up.

We've been hearing more and more of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, ones that have been to the Temples and been sealed for Time & Eternity, dropping away, losing their faith, and even some of them becoming agnostic or even Atheist.

How have we not done this ourselves?

Well, it's really simple, and because of how simple it is it's hard for people to really believe it and to know how to grasp and understand it.

Tyler and I may have a lot of gospel knowledge and yada yada, but the bottom line is this: keeping the commandments of God and keeping our covenants we've made with God from our baptisms and going through the Temple and then getting sealed.

The LITTLE things matter the MOST.

Reading the scriptures, praying daily, going to church, paying tithing, going to the temple, having Family Home Evening, etc. It does not require much at all to do these things. Oh, and a BIGGIE. Keeping the Word of Wisdom.

The Word of Wisdom is exactly that. A WORD OF WISDOM. It comes from God.
Those who choose to smoke and drink are literally clogging their spiritual pores. Oh sure laugh it up if you want to, or better yet, get offended LOL. But it's true. Just plain and simply that, it's true.
Doing things that are contrary to what God has asked us to do is damaging and damning in every sense of those words.

Tyler and I have been very, very careful to never break the Word of Wisdom, to always pay a full tithe, and keep up with our reading and praying and these things alone have kept our testimonies firm.

There have been countless chances we've had to leave the church or start to look into another religion or just quit, but how can one do that when they're sure about what they're doing is right and that the Spirit is with them, building them up, strengthening them, guiding them, supporting them, loving them, comforting them, and blessing them with miracles every day?

How could Tyler and I turn our backs on our ETERNAL FAMILY and our testimonies when God has given us so much and done so much for us?

If anybody needs a sign of proof about God's love and existence it's not in material blessings, it's not in healthy bodies, it's not in fame and fortune or recognition or a calm and event-less life. It's not a constant SUREITY of God's existence or of miracles or angels or truth or anything like that. It's not getting what you want or what you think you deserve or what you think would be best for you or your family. It's not even saving a loved one from death.
It's the fact that he let his Son suffer, bleed and die. It's the fact that he allowed his earthly children to torture, ridicule, reject, beat and then ultimately kill His Only Begotten Son. He allowed this because it was THE ONLY WAY that we could receive Salvation and hopefully Eternal Life if we so choose it. JESUS CHRIST IS THE SIGN. He is the proof.

No matter what happens to Tyler and I, or anybody else we know, Tyler and I always have this great PEACE and HAPPINESS that we feel on a daily basis, if even for a moment, that we have an Eternal Family. That we will be together forever, perfect, immortal, glorious, and with our family and friends who so choose to follow the same path. We know that there is a greater reward waiting for us after this life and it's worth all the hell and torment we could possibly endure in this life to attain all that God has promised us.

I know for a certainty that's indescribable that Jesus Christ lives and that he died for every one of us and lives now. I know with a strong hope and faith that my family, Tyler, Lacie, Sophie and I, will all be together forever and ever, never to die again, never to suffer again. I know that no matter what people say or do all around us, and while friends and family and people we don't know very well fall away and deny the faith and lose their faith and go off on their own ways and who snub us for our faith, that we are doing what is right and we are doing our best and we are choosing to keep the faith and we are choosing to do what's right and work as hard as we can to keep this.

Nothing is worth losing your family after death.
NOTHING.

And please don't try to comfort yourself into thinking that EVERYONE will be with their families forever, because they will not if they choose not to do what's necessary to receive this gift. Sure, we'll all live again one day, but there's a difference between being SEALED to your family and just living again. Tyler and I know this, and we're staying away from the things that could tear our Eternal Family apart, including not breaking the Word of Wisdom and all that other stuff I already mentioned.

This is my testimony and I just felt to share it.
In Jesus' Name.

Who, And What, Is God

I've been wanting and thinking and feeling that I should write about God. So I'll do that today, being Sunday, and I feel that it's appropriate for the Sabbath.

The first and most important thing we must come to learn, understand, believe in and accept is the knowledge of God, who he is, how he is, and how that relates to and affects us as individuals and as a whole.

Over time God has had many different names and identities to all people. Everybody sees him in a different light and level of belief.

Where did God come from? When and where did the idea of God first come from anyway?

There are many different books of scripture (Holy Word) that come from "the beginning of time" or the "beginning of all things" or just the "beginning of this world".

History books and stories, legends and ghost stories all take us back to the belief of a God, or gods, and Lucifer, or Satan, the Devil, the Adversary, the Fallen Star, etc.

These are the most ancient and legendary stories of all.

Men throughout time have changed, made up, written, told, believed and dreamed up stories about God and the Adversary.

So which books are true?

Well, that's for you to decide, based on two things: Logic & Feeling.

Now, the most basic and logical beliefs of God, from my personal opinion and based on scripture, are as follows:

God Lives; he is live and living (Gen 1:27; Ex 31:18; Luke 24:39; John 14:9; D&C 130:1; D&C 130:22; Mosiah 7:27).

God is Immortal and does not change (Psa 102:27; Heb 13:8; Moroni 10:7; D&C 20:11-12; D&C 76:4).

God knows all things (Jer 1:5; Acts 2:23; 1 Nephi 9:6; 2 Nephi 2:24; W of M 1:7; Abr 2:8).

God is glorious (Ex 24:7; Num 14:21; Ps 19:1; Isa 40:5; Matt 6:13; Luke 2:9; Luke 9:32; John 1:14; Philip 4:20; Titus 2:13; 2 Nephi 12:19; Mosiah 4:12; D&C 4:5; Moses 1:5).

God is intelligent (Isa 55:8; D&C 88:41; Abr 3:19).

God loves (Deut 7:8; Isa 63:7; Jer 31:3; Mal 1:2; John 3:16; John 13:1; 1 Jn 3:1; 2 Nephi 1:15; Alma 13:29; 4 Nephi 1:15; D&C 95:1; D&C 138:3).

God is merciful (Ex 34:6; Deut 4:31; 2 Sam 24:14; Ps 69:16; Ps 116:5; Isa 49:15; Eph 2:4; Titus 3:5; James 5:11; 2 Nephi 4:26; 2 Nephi 9:8; Alma 9:26; Alma 42:15; Moroni 8:19; D&C 84:102).

God is perfect (Deut 32:4; 2 Sam 22:31; Matt 5:48; Heb 5:9; Heb 6:18; James 1:13).

God is powerful (Gen 17:1; 1 Sam 14:6; Jer 32:17; Jer 51:15; Matt 8:26; Matt 19:26; Matt 28:18; John 10:18; Heb 1:3; 1 Nephi 4:1; Mosiah 4:9; Alma 26:35; Hel 12:11; D&C 61:1).

God is wise (Job 36:5; Ps 136:5; 1 Cor 3:19; 2 Nephi 9:8; Jacob 4:10; Mosiah 4:9; Alma 26:35; D&C 9:3; D&C 10:43; D&C 76:2).

So we've been taught and shown that God knows all things, comprehends all things, loves, has mercy and justice, is wise intelligent, all-powerful, perfect, immortal and created all things and commands all things.

Pretty much, everything is up to God. Everything depends on GOD. God gives all life, all understanding, all intelligence, all things, and is the only way we can obtain salvation.

God does not make mistakes. God cannot lie (Num 23:19; Titus 1:2; Enos 1:6). God is not a God of confusion (1 Cor 14:33). God would not lead his children away, or tempt them to do that which is wrong and evil. God does not create evil. God does not waver or change, and is the creator of all things good, even all the commandments and the only way to salvation and Eternal life, peace, happiness and joy.

God is our father. We are his children.

If we love God, we will keep ALL his commandments, not just what suits us. We cannot assume that anything God says can be how we want to take it. If God says to do one thing or another or anything it is a commandment, logically speaking.

God also does not force. He has given us "free will", or free agency. He cannot make a good man do that which is bad or good, and cannot make a bad man do that which is bad or good. He cannot stop a murderer from murdering if it has to be stopped by force. God has power over all things BUT OUR WILLS. Our wills are the only thing we have complete control over. It is the ONLY thing we can give God. He cannot take it away. Man may try, the Adversary may try, but God will not try.

This is why bad things happen to good people. God has to allow wicked people to do what they want because he cannot force them otherwise. What they do in this life will be held against them in the next (at Judgement Day). Bad things that people do stand as a witness against them on Judgement Day. And those of us who witness or are victims to another's wicked behavior will stand as witnesses against them as well.

Because God cannot lie he will not teach false doctrine to anyone. He will not tell one man to do one thing and another man to do another. That is contradictory, and that which contradicts is a lying thing by nature.

God knows all things. He has all truth. And only through God can we obtain all truth. God will give it, because he has to in order to save us. AFter all, we cannot be saved in ignorance (Eph 4:18; D&C 131:6), and God knowing this has provided ways and means for us to obtain all that we need in this life to return to Him and live with Him for all Eternity, and with our families. God will not save a man who is willfully ignorant (3 Nephi 6:18). When we know the will and teachings of God and do them not then we are being willfully ignorant, rebelliously ignorant. God will not have mercy on us when we are like this. He would be a liar if he did. He will not save everyone just through his mercies, because there is justice that must be satisfied (Ex 23:7; Prov 17:15; James 2:21). We have to be proven in our works and in our faith, not just our faith in His mercies.

We cannot just live our life in ignorance, willfully disobeying God's commands, and suppose that we will be saved because of our faith in his mercy. That is not how God is or works.

I know what I have shared here to be true. May God's Spirit speak the truth of it to you. I pray you will understand, or want to understand and search these scriptures yourself, pray about it, and believe it.

This is the first and most important thing we all must come to know at some time in our life. And we must live our life in accordance with this knowledge if we wish to be saved in the Kingdom of God forever.

Modeling Experience & Spiritual Thoughts

So I modeled for Co/Ma Clothing last night at the Masonic Temple in SLC. It was THE experience. Like THE WEIRDEST experience! lol

So I like Coby's clothes (Co/Ma stands for Coby & Marita) so I like to model them. No I cannot wear my Temple Garments with his clothes, but most models do not wear theirs and I find it as being my WORK they cannot be used all the time, like lifeguards, etc. Anyway, I modeled one of his newest outfits and it was soooo cute! It was very comfortable for me, too. I got to borrow Mollee's "hooker" boots and those were comfy, too. Yeah, I know what most of you are probably thinking. Well, we all have different lines of work and unless my work asks me to be immoral or lose my standards I'm okay with it (I won't break my morals or standards). I LOVE what I do for very many reasons.

Okay, now to get down to what I was originally going to talk about! lol

I have had strange dreams half my life that are very satanic and ritualistic in nature. I haven't always been scared in them, knowing I've been protected in these dreams and they aren't REAL, but they're very detailed, graphic and horrific. I cannot tell my dreams to hardly anybody I know because they are so grotesque and bring a bad spirit.

When we drove up to the Masonic Temple and I saw it for the first time that I can ever remember it struck me hard that I have dreamed about this place. I've had multiple dreams about a certain part of this temple.

On the front, when facing it, to the left of the main steps leading to the main entrance is another entrance. It's barred shut. There are at least 3 sets of different locked doors to go through to reach whatever lies inside. In my dreams I've been able to go into these doors but at night when it's been very dark. VERY dark. There are lights from within but mostly lit by torches on the walls. Anyway, I don't remember everything but I do remember that inside are symbolic Egyptian things for certain and specific ceremonies. Some of which are kinda graphic. I won't go into more detail than that. But when we pulled up to the temple all of these memories flashed back to me. I was suddenly afraid, but not afraid. I was afraid because I knew I wasn't supposed to be here but not afraid because I knew I was protected nonetheless and no harm would come to me.

The entire night I was very numb. There were all sorts of people there. Some nice, some not so nice. Anyway, to make a longer story shorter, there was very hard music and even some nicer music. There were good performances that night and some not so good. The movies they showed on their big projector screen were VERY graphic and horrific and pornographic and were traumatizing to say in the least. There were KIDS there watching this crap!! A band played that was just all crap to me. I couldn't believe how desensitized these people were! The thought came to my mind that oh, this is why people think Obama is a good man. They're desensitized and have been deceived. Just because someone seems "nice" does not mean they're good!!

I was glad that I had the Spirit with me and was protected all night. I felt like I was apart from all the goings-on of the event and like I was in a bubble. Everyone left me alone and I didn't feel tempted to mix or mingle (like I used to) or to join in with anybody for anything. I kept seperate but was still there.

The modeling itself was done and over with extremely quickly. The prep lasted HOURS! I like my fellow models. None are active or LDS (one or the other). I am SURE I was the ONLY Endowed member at this event last night. I felt ever grateful for my iron clad testimony and that I will not let myself be so easily deceived. Common Spiritual reasoning keeps me from falling into the subtle and smooth temptations of Satan and his angels.

I know for sure that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is GOD'S CHURCH & KINGDOM and that all the truths and all the saving ordinances are to be found there-in. I'm sure we can feel the Spirit in other places and experience great and good things elsewhere, but I know for sure that in order to be with God again and our family for eternity, and to have peace, joy and happiness for eternity, that we must follow the teachings, commandments & ordinances that are found within the L.D.S. church.

While members and non-members alike are falling away by the hundreds and even thousands by listening to the subtle whisperings and hard threatenings of Satan and his angels I know that there is a certain peace and sureity that can be found only among God's people and in God's church and being worthy to enter God's Holy Houses.

While people are trying to justify being gay and marrying gay partners, and justifying allowing others to kill their unborn or newly unborn, or justifying allowing our religious freedoms and freedom to worship how, WHERE or what we may, there is still TRUTH out there. There are still fundamental truths that will be the very things that will save us in these last days if we but follow them in faith.

I'm grateful for a husband that NOW has his own testimony and that tries his best to follow the commandments of God and even more importantly, or as important actually, that he follows the still, small voice of the Holy Ghost. I am grateful for my membership in God's kingdom and for the Gift of the Holy Ghost that I have. I am grateful that my family and I are sealed together for Time & all Eternity. Unlike popular belief, you will NOT be with your family in the next life without these Temple and saving ordinances, and I am so grateful that Tyler and I are worthy for them!

Anyway, going to events like the one I went to last night just solidify my testimony even more and for that I am also grateful.

I would like to close this in the Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.