I LOVE Easter & General Conference!!! (Missing Tyler, Feeling Overwhelmed).

I am happy that Easter is here. It's one of my most favorite holidays. I love the bright and happy pastel colors. I love the egg-hunting and candy, of course, and the new dresses and dressing up all pretty. But the part that I love the absolute most is that it's Christ's true birthday and his Resurrection. It reminds me of Springtime, renewal, a new year, life, beauty, and a happy, bright, celestial place. It's the exact opposite of Halloween, and what's funny about that for me is that Halloween is tied with Easter for me with favorite holiday!! haha. Next comes Christmas for me. I know, I'm weird. :) lol
Before Tyler left he and I picked out the girl's Easter dresses, shoes, and hair stuff so I can make their hair things like I did last year and I think the year before, too. I love making things, I feel so proud of my creations when they're done, especially when they're for my loved ones, whoever they may be.
It's also my friend's deceiced baby's 4th birthday today, too. I sure miss that little Angel! She'd sure cheer me up right now, and I could sure use it! I miss you Allie! Happy Birthday!

I'm feeling so sad tonight. I think it's so much harder because it's General Conference weekend and my favorite holiday weekend and Tyler and I always love this time of year and have a lot of fun together. It's like missing Christmas for me not having him here.
It's been 2 weeks now!!! Oh man I miss him, my heart aches. I've been a little emotional today. Luckily no out-of-control crying or anything, but Sophie could tell I was sad. She's very intuitive like that. She told me if I cry in the car then she'll sing a happy song to help me feel better. It was really sweet.
Listening to Elder Holland's talk in the afternoon really kicked off the emotion for me. It was about our sacred relationships with our spouses, staying away from porn, and running away from enticing and tempting situations that could potentially harm our relationships. If we have a relationship with the opposite sex that coule be even remotely inappropriate or even viewed as such we should sever that emmediately, etc., etc. I don't have issues like that, thank Heavens! I view my marriage with Tyler as highly sacred and special and I work very hard at it every day. I work very hard at making him happy and satisfied, loved, appreciated, uplifted, encouraged, accepted, and more. I work very hard at keeping the Covenants I've made with him and God every day, and I try my best not to disappoint either Tyler or God. I know I'm not perfect, and I need the Atonment just as much as everyone else does, but I know that I've done my best.
Knowing all this makes it that much harder being away from Tyler. It almost feels like a punishment being separated from him, and I know it's not from anything I've done wrong, so it's not a punishment of course, it's just a very hard requirement to go through.

Right now I'm watching Super Nanny while I put together the girl's Easter stuff. Might as well be doing something productive while doing something else productive, eh? haha. I'm totally multi-tasking, as mothers have to learn to do! Writing a blog, watching a beneficial show, and making things for my daughters. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself, huh?

I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed right now. I know that wives go without their husbands quite frequently, but how many of them have to go through every single item they own and either shred it, throw it out or give it away, or inventory it and organize it within a set time, plus keep the house clean, take care of kids, school and school work, and everything else mothers already have to do, plus replace daddy? UGH!! I can handle the basic stuff, better than I realized I could, but I have not been able to even crack open one box or open a closet to start the necessary sorting. I DO need help from anybody who is willing to give it! I cannot do everything, it's impossible. I wish that I had more support/help from others. My two sisters-in-laws, Andrea & Alicia, have been WONDERFUL. Alicia keeps me happily preocuppied to not be able to dwell on missing Tyler and Andrea takes wonderful care and love of my children while I do things I can't take my kids with me to. Thank you to both of you, if you read this!! Know I'll do the same for you any day!

Anyway, right now I'm praying that we can move out of this place. My landlady is not very honest and it's disappointing. Our neighborhood isn't safe and there's nobody for my kids to play with but either out-of-control children who are neglected and their parents are druggies and partiers, or children who, well, I won't say here. It's just not a good situation. But we've hardly been home anyway since Tyler's been gone, so I guess that doesn't matter right now. I do have a good babysitter for my children and the girls love it there, especially Lacie. I'm very happy for that.
Okay, I'm tired. Gotta get back to my project.
Good night, and please pray for us and Tyler.