An Update & Some Thoughts

So I didn't get the job at Convergys. Tyler and I both had a feeling that it wouldn't happen. I gave it my best and my all, but they chose another candidate. I just don't have Excel 100% down. I think I sucked on that part of the test lol.
Tyler's also been turned down for a LOT of jobs he's applied for. We've both applied for countless jobs already!! They all want SPECIFIC skills and stuff and some of it was just do not have. And the skills we do have the job had just been filled! Just bad timing.
So we are having a yard sale tomorrow at our place. We're selling our entire bedroom set, dining set, some shelves, a TV stand, a crib, clothes, vases, magnet board I made (it's so nice. I'll miss it), a printer, DVD rack that cost a lot, an amp, and more! I just think this is absolutely necessary. We have no other choice.
Even if either of us or both of us got a job right now it wouldn't be in time to pay the 1200.00 our bank wants. They'll repossess our truck next week and then sue us for everything we have, they said.
We really are in a bad spot. I know some people just don't believe that or realize that. It's the worst I've ever seen personally, at one time.
No money for food or gas, no money for phones, utilities, rent, internet, NOTHING. We HAVE to have internet for Tyler's school. And Tyler quitting school right now is NOT an option. He's on the Dean's List and is doing so well! With this schooling he'll be able to get valuable certificates to hopefully work at a hospital or doctor's office soon. That's his goal, anyway.
Getting a job that pays more than State benefits allow will screw us!! The only way we can survive is if Tyler or I are making a lot more than what we were making before. People don't seem to understand that.
They really don't.
We have THOUSANDS of dollars in medical debt that they all want paid immediately!! We've been sued FOUR TIMES in a month's time!!! Threatened to be sued two more times right now. 1 by the bank. The other Mountainland Collections. So yeah. We can't do it. We just can't.

Here's what we've been hoping for and planning for and working for:
Tyler and I are looking for part-time jobs for both of us. Not paying too much so that we can still get State benefits. It seems the wisest route for us for right now. Then we'll get on Housing (Section 8) in about 8-18 months. That'll help sooo much! Tyler will get certificates in 2-4 months that'll help him get a better job.
We're going to go to his school and speak with Financial Aid and see if we can't get more student loans to pay for our medical debt. We really don't know what else to do. Like paying 50.00 a month to like 25 different places is a LOT of money, ya know? But that's what they all want, or full payment, or they'll sue us. Get it?
Our bishop is offering absolutely NO help at all. Not for food or anything. I think he has the wrong opinion of us so we're going to meet with him on Sunday and explain to him EXACTLY what's going on.
I'm really tired of being misunderstood and misjudged by people who should understand.
You take one look at our situation and you automatically think, "they must be doing something wrong or did something wrong".
People have looked at my parents this same way.
It's just not right, period.
Some people CANNOT help their situation, no matter what!

Anyway, we're doing the best we can to better our circumstances and working hard to get ourselves into a better circumstance. I know there are MANY who are in much better circumstances than our own and what they're doing is more important than what we need. And still people judge others who struggle, like us.

"For behold, ye do love money and your substance, and your fine apparel, and the adorning of your churches, more than ye love the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted"
-Mormon 8:37

"But wo unto the rich, who are rich as to the things of the world. For because they are rich they despise the poor, and they persecute the meek, and their hearts are upon their treasures; wherefore, their treasure is their god. And behold, their treasure shall perish with them also."
-2 Nephi 9:30

"And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you - that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sings from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God - I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants."
-Mosiah 4:26

AND THEN THE MOST POINTED, STRONG AND UNMISTAKABLE SCRIPTURES OF ALL on this subject:
"And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.
"PERHAPS THOU SHALT SAY: THE MAN HAS BROUGHT UPON HIMSELF HIS MISERY; THEREFORE I WILL STAY MY HAND, AND WILL NOT GIVE UNTO HIM OF MY FOOD, NOR IMPART UNTO HIM OF MY SUBSTANCE THAT HE MAY NOT SUFFER, FOR HIS PUNISHMENTS ARE JUST -
"But I say unto you, O man, whosever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdon of God.
"For behold, ARE WE NOT ALL BEGGARS? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and gold, and for silver, and for all the riches we have of every kind?
"And now, if God, who has created you, ON WHOM YOU ARE DEPENDENT FOR YOUR LIVES AND FOR ALL THAT YE HAVE AND ARE, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.
"AND IF YE JUDGE THE MAN WHO PUTTETH UP HIS PETITION TO YOU FOR YOUR SUBSTANCE TAHT HE PERISH NOT, AND CONDEMN HIM, HOW MUCH MORE JUST WILL BE YOUR CONDEMNATION FOR WITHHOLDING YOUR SUBSTANCE, WHICH DOTH NOT BELONG TO YOU BUT TO GOD, TO WHOM ALSO YOUR LIFE BELONGETH; AND YET YE PUT UP NO PETITION, NOR REPENT OF THE THING WHICH THOU HAST DONE.
"I say unto you, wo be unto that man, for his substance shall perish with him; and now, I say these things unto those who are rich as pertaining to the things of this world."
Mosiah 4:16-19, 21-23

These are scriptures from God. I don't care what or who you believe in, these are true and good things that we should follow.
I know I was raised to believe and feel this way, especially since I was raised in such a poor home with caring parents who did everything they could to provide for us.
I was also shown what it's like to have very rich people surround me and my family who will not help except conditionally. They loan things. And then expect repayment and sometimes even with interest attached. How is that charitable? How is that what Heavenly Father would want for us to do to each other? How can you feel right about doing that, especially if it's family??

How can you watch people suffer so much and say "it's their fault, they shouldn't have boughten that car" or "they did it to themselves, she should've been working to help instead of staying home with their children, so it's their fault" or "they just want attention and an easy way out" or "they're only going to go spend it on something stupid, like go out to eat or alcohol or to pay for that new couch they have".

How do you KNOW that?

And it's not up to you to judge to whom your money goes to with all these conditions. If someone NEEDS it GIVE IT!!

I hate hearing people, especially Christian's, say, "That beggar is a worthless SOB. He's just a lazy drunk and probably makes more than I do" and then walk on by him and ignore him while he sits in the dirty street with a sign or a cup, imploring our help.

My husband and I, and my family, have always been charitable to give to others, even if it's all we had in our pockets to give, we still give it. We know what it's like to be poor and needy! We're here right now!!!

I also remember that story from the Bible that says that lady who gave her two coins and it was ALL she had. It was worth far less than what others were giving, but to God it was worth waaaaay more than what the others were giving because it was all she had!! The other wealthier people only gave some change pretty much, in comparison to their incomes or posessions.

You know, until you know exactly what is going on in people's lives and with their circumstances and especially what's in their hearts and minds, then don't judge them! Don't think or say to yourself that they deserve it or ask for it or NEED it or this is "their learning time" and leave them alone thinking they'll work it out or they deserve it for their choices they've made or whatever!!!

How do you justify that?

Anyway, there you go. I have much deeper thoughts about this and can be sooo much bolder with it in my opinions and thoughts.

I've seen too much to be ignorant on this topic.

okay, back to our life.
Here's to hoping God has mercy on us before we end up homeless.

Money Money Money Money Money Money Money

So I was thinking about this and Tyler and I have talked about it and my parents have and Kimberley and I have and many others, but, when it comes to Money, we're all a little different than I think a lot, or most, people are with it.
Okay, sure you can say we're bad with it. Go ahead and say it, think it, whatever, but it doesn't matter cuz that's a matter of opinion and perspective and priorities, quite frankly.
I have an old boss that was a multi-millionaire. We worked side-by-side and became pretty darn good friends. I admired this man. He was incredibly intelligent, but, when you first met him you would think he was a bum from Australia, because of his speach impediment, and also because of what he drove and what he wore. To him impressions didn't mean much at all, it was work ethic that mattered most.
Some people think material things DO matter because impressions DO matter. Some people think family matters most, or their career, or their church or "platform". Some think that the earth matters most, life, nature, or sports. You name it, we all think something different from another and all our priorities are slightly or greatly different from one another's.
Anyway, to get to the main point of me writing this blog, I think that Tyler and I have a similar belief system when it comes to money. Oh sure there are differing priorities, but we both know that we think a lot alike when it comes to how to spend money or who to spend it on, etc.
For example, when it comes to helping other people we know and/or care about we are more than willing to spend money on them. Say we decide we want to go to dinner with the family, or with some close friends, and their company is worth more to us than our money and we have enough to share we will PAY FOR THEM to eat with us. We'll pay for friends/family to go see a movie with us, or we'll provide dinner or whatever it takes to spend time with these people. We have NEVER been "rich" or had plenty for our needs and wants. We have been comfortable for a short period of time and during that time we paid for anything for friends and family.
That time when we were doing fine financially we even bought the entire Christmas and food and tickets to a game for a single mom and her child. That was the greatest Christmas ever!! We've helped with bills and food and entertainment for those we care about. We'll loan out money, or just give it to them.
Now, we don't have ANY extra money. As a matter of fact we've been sued a couple of times now and there are just medical bills piling up by the week and, well, life is happening. Tyler DOES have a good-paying job so we do NOT qualify for state assistence in any way, but all our checks go to these people sueing us or surprise bills and to keep our utilities and phone and what-not from being shut off.
There are some people who have enough, or even don't have enough, who have helped us. God bless them for that. They are truly charitable people God will, and is, blessing. There are some who will NOT help. Why?
Well, here are the reasons I've heard from wealthier people in the past for not helping out people who struggle financially:
1. they think they are enabling them.
2. they think they are being taken advantage of
3. they know they'll never get paid back
4. they worked hard for what they have
5. they think the other person is lazy
6. they think it's a temporary fix for a more permanant problem
well, these are the basic reasons. I know more an can go on, but I don't want to. It kinda irritates me.
These people have turned into gods. No joking!! They have! Why? Well, because they are deciding what's best for the person who is in need. They are making judgments based on their limited knowledge and experience. They are being selfish, plain and simply put, and PRIDEFUL. They think they are BETTER than the people who are needy.
They think they work harder, are smarter, have better priorities, are wiser, deserve what they have, and that everything they have is THEIRS to KEEP and not required to give or share. They think that God obviously has blessed them with what they have because they DESERVE it, OR, they think they're THAT GOOD that they deserve it for all their ______ (fill in the blank with: hard word, wisdom, education, experience, intelligence, good inheritance, straight priorities and/or sacrifice).
But what if, for example, the table was turned and those with money had none or very little and those without money suddenly had what they needed or more than what they needed? What would change?
From my own personal experience, and based from what many, many others have mentioned to me before, that those without money now are the types of people who would GIVE FREELY of what they have to help those in need, and the wealthier people would blame themselves entirely for their want and need and sink into despairing depressions and probably commit suicide or be very, very angry and resentful people. The poor, now rich, people would help those who are needy and the needy and resentful people would be too prideful to accept the help offered, or would snatch it thinking they still deserved it and resent them all the same.
Not saying EVERYONE would be like this, of course!! Just an idea to think about is all.
I've known people who worked hard for years and became millionaires and flaunt what they have thinking it's all due to their hard work and nothing else, and then even those that work hard for years and become millionaires and then suddenly lose it all. They have the hardest adjustment going from rich to poor. They think that going from nice food to ramen noodles and bread and butter is the hardest think they've ever had to endure and they go on and on about it like "woe is me". Very few millionaires actually make it back down to POVERTY level.
Some of the nicest and best people I've EVER met have been those who have very little or nothing at all.
I know what I'm talking about here. I've LIVED in a third world country.
I've been VERY POOR most of my life, but it is nothing in comparison to what it's like living in a third world country. Believe me. You have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER of what POOR and POVERTY-STRICKEN is until you live among those who are afflicted with these.
Okay, on another thing to think about.
What would you do if you had this budget to go off of?:
1800.00 month income
car payment 250.00
Dr bills 200.00 month, minimum
Internet & phone 150.00
Food & Gasoline & Necessities 500-700.00
Rent/Mortgage 750.00
Utilities 150.00
Tithing 180.00
am I missing anything??
What if only one spouse can work? What if there is only one parent? What if both spouses are working or one is going to school and working or one to school and the other working? What if one is consistently sick/ill hence the reason for the high doctor bills and cannot keep a steady job? What if small children require mother to stay home? What if their priorities are DIFFERENT from yours and you have no good reason to judge but you see a financial problem here?
I'm sure you'd like to say "take this and this out, budget this, get more income" blah blah blah.
The truth is we all live in different incomes and different budgets for different reasons. We can judge and say, "they're foolish with their money" but how do you KNOW THAT for sure?? How can you judge that when you don't know what's in their heart, what they've worked out together to be their priorities, and who are you to decide what priorities are justified and what are wrong?
Pretty much God has said some very plain, basic and simple things FOR ALL PEOPLE to follow, and anybody who has common sense and can care about humanity and their fellow men can follow these simple rules, no matter who made them be it God or Aristotle or Budha.
Give to the poor.
Do not judge, it is God's place to judge.
Give to the needy.
Do not suffer anyone to go hungry or naked.
Share your talents, money, abilities, food, clothing, houses, all that you have with others to help them.
Do not kick people out of your "synagogues" (sp bad, sorry) because they are without.
Well, those are just a few things that God has said. I guess take them for what they are worth.
But really, if we are to hoard our money and judge those who don't live the same way we do then we'll never change. We'll always be devided into classes and there will always be pride and poverty.
And remember, above all else, that EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING you have is not yours, no matter how much you think it is, and that includes your income or inheritance. It is God's. We all were created equal. God does not esteem one man above another. And God gives to us so that we'll learn to give to others and accept what is given to us with gratefulness.
P.S. That is not our budget I have listed here. Just so ya know!