He's Listening

So things have been hard for us lately, no matter how optimistic we try to be, that's the truth. I know everybody struggles with things in their life that are hard at any given time, and sometimes we're blessed with breaks here and there I think, and other times we're blessed with really hard times that really can make or break a person depending on how they choose to accept it.
Right now things are very, very hard. I'm trying my best to be happy for the girls and Tyler and myself and others, and I know I greatly fall short of this, but I am doing my best and with the Lord's help I'm doing even better than I thought possible for myself.


Yesterday, after a bit of bad news here and there, I was home alone (for once lol) and felt it safe to let my emotions out for a few minutes and allowed myself to cry. Or better yet, the tears just came and I didn't have to worry about hiding them like usual.
So I bawled my eyes out and was feeling very weak (as some people have called me) and pathetic and just a little hopeless and started praying to help me feel strengthened somehow and to please bless me with any good news for a change or something to keep me going. I prayed to know if Heavenly Father was hearing me, was aware of what we are going through, and if I'm all alone or have support. 
I went back out to my car where groceries were waiting in the trunk to be taken out and as I opened the trunk a car pulled up behind me. I turned and two members of my bishopric came out of the car.
I assumed they were looking for my parents, obviously, since this is their home, and felt really embarrassed that they caught me crying like an idiot. I told them nobody was home and where my dad was (at the church at the time, with  my girls), and they said "we're here to see you". 
They said they'd felt impressed to visit me.


They asked me how I was doing and I was actually kinda shocked at first and didn't really know what to say. Then I started to tell them a little bit about what was going on. They offered to help me with anything I needed. So I finally gave in and let them help me bring my groceries in, which was wonderful since the amount of pain I was in was a lot, and then my brother Josh showed up so we weren't alone in the house. It was so perfect. They asked what else they could do for me and I felt prompted to ask for a blessing. I received a blessing and a feeling of love enveloped me by the Lord. I felt comforted, loved, protected, understood, sheltered, and uplifted.


My testimony was strengthened last night as a result of this. I was feeling so sad and was asking Heavenly Father for anything, really, and he sent two angels to me right in the moment that I needed them most! He answered my prayer the instant I asked, and blessed me greatly!
I felt his love and I can tell you it was similar to what Alma the Younger said in the Book of Mormon in Alma 36:21: "Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy."
Maybe my experience wasn't as grand, huge, and miraculous as Alma the Younger's was, but this is how I felt, or something very similar to it, and I know it was from my loving Heavenly Father. 


God does love us. He is aware of what we are going through and what our needs are. He understands us. And, above all else, He is listening. 
He heard my  prayers and answered them, strengthening me, lifting me, and enveloping me with the compassion, love, and sympathy I so needed and only He can understand that I need, and needed, so much. 
Thank you for blessing me with the Gift of the Holy Ghost and for my membership in God's Church where the Priesthood is real and alive and true.