Sunday, November 30, 2008

Pray for change or pray for strength?


So lately a realization hit me. Tyler and I have been through a lot since before we got married and are still going through some really hard times. I've always prayed that my problems would go away or change or something would make the problems better or something like that. I was always thinking, "God never answers my prayers!!!" I got mad and blamed God and even started to doubt him and even his existence.

Well, in the last few weeks, or months I guess, actually, I changed my prayers for the most part to include something like this instead: "Please bless me with the strength, faith and encouragement to withstand these hard times"... etc. I don't repeat all my prayers. They're not memorized. I pray with my heart and mean every word I say.

So instead of praying for something to go away or change, I prayed for strength to deal with what I had to go through. Well, I shouldn't have to say this but I will anyway, it worked!
I have been at more peace and a lot happier since I've started praying like this.

I recently lost one of my best friends. I feel completely used by her and taken advantage of. I cried myself to sleep a few nights and couldn't sleep the rest of the time, even woke up super early and couldn't get back to sleep cuz I was just so upset over the entire ordeal.
I was super upset about all of this. So finally I prayed and asked Heavenly Father if he would help me shoulder this heartache. I knew I couldn't change any of it. I did the absolute best thing I could do to rectify and clear things up, but relationships never work if both people aren't willing to give their all to it. So I knew I had to go through this. And also to learn a lesson or two, or twenty, so instead I prayed for strength to go through it. Well, the next morning I woke up happy, refreshed, and not feeling all depressed or feeling any despair! I felt good!

I've found that instead of trying to get God to feel sorry for me and change my circumstances and praying for strength and faith to withstand or remain strong then my prayers are answered!!!
It makes me happy to know God IS THERE!!!!!! He DOES listen!!!!!

He CANNOT take choices away from people. So people will always be bad and mean, people will always be selfish and hurtful, people will always lie and steal, kill and abuse. People will always have their own choices to do whatever the heck they want!! So that will always directly or indirectly affect us.
Our own choices determine to an enormous extent the situations in which we find ourselves on a daily basis and they change the course of our lifetime all the time! So... God CANNOT take these choices away from us or anyone else. But what he CAN do is give us the strength to get through them!

He can "carry our crosses", so to speak, through all the hard times we have.
I mean, that's one of the blessings WE ALL HAVE thanks to the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
I love my Heavenly Father.... but I'm sure not even close as much as he loves me!!!!

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