So Tyler and I have been majorly stressing about his job and several other things as well.
So this is what we did.
I called the police to talk to them about this person calling the police on us and making false accusations and what our options are and so on. Well, he explained a bunch of things to me that I already knew and understand so that was all good and well then he told me that if they call again that when the police officer comes we can pursue things even further. The officer can contact the person and tell them that charges will be pressed if they continue these accusations that the officers, three times now, have seen with their own eyes are false.
Otherwise our only other choice is to move away. Or just bear with the annoyance of some weirdo that likes to stir up problems. Of course if they called DCFS then things would be really bad because, frankly, DCFS just isn't that straight or honest. They take kids from perfectly good homes and ignore cases that are very serious. Of course they do LOTS of good too, but it's too much of a risk, ya know? I NEVER call those people unless I really feel there is a deep concern to be addressed and I have seen with my own eyes the abuse or neglect that would require contacting them.
Okay, the next thing we did was meet with the bishop. He gave us advice and counsel, and was a great boost for us. We love our bishop, he's such a great man! He gave an exceptional lesson today in our combined meeting at church about forgiveness. Something I've found that I need to do a lot of these days, and often.
The next thing we did was I encouraged Tyler to call his boss, the owner, and get some things straightened out before he either just went to work or quit.
So he asked him about taxes, overtime, told him about the porn, etc. His boss said that Tyler's supervisor, Ron, was supposed to have given him his tax forms by the first day to sign so two weeks later he's going to make sure Ron gives them to him this time. Ron's been feeding Tyler a bunch of bull crap apparently. Tyler will get his overtime and he isn't a contractor but is an employee. Also, the porn outraged Tyler's boss, Kent, and he's going to fire the ENTIRE crew Tyler works on!!! He said he's really impressed with Tyler, really likes him, and is keeping only him and firing all the others. I'm guessing as soon as this Walmart project is over they're all gone. So, after talking to him Tyler feels SO much more peace about it and it's turning out to be a good deal after all. If he wasn't going to get his overtime then it would've been money down the drain with all the driving Tyler's been having to do.
He also told Tyler he'll pay him more when he gets his Plumber's Apprentice License. He can't until he gets that. So Tyler has to apply for it, get signatures for it, and take a test and pay some money for it. But he'll get paid a lot better with it, so that's his next goal.
So, the way things are headed this very minute is that we could end up staying right where we're at, Tyler has a job with zero benefits but potential. And, he'll take this job until something better opens up for him.
His boss, Kent, says he doesn't smoke or drink, doesn't allow or put up with pornography or any other crap like that, and has had to make some financial decisions based on the dishonesty of his employees and unfortunately those decisions affect every employee, and all because of a few dishonest and crooked and immoral employees that ruin it for the rest. Typical of how things are in life.
So, I'm feeling a lot more at peace about things. There are a few other things that have been stressing me out, but I think that they'll iron themselves out okay if we just watch our steps, take care of our own little family, and continue faithfully and prayerfully.
So I know that I complained about Tyler's job in the last blog, and that I wrote very recently, but here I am again updating it even more after talking to Tyler today.
He got home in the very early hours of the morning and when I saw him today, this afternoon, he did NOT look happy at all! He looks miserable!! My poor Tyler!!!!
He told me today that not only do they cut the drive time out of his pay and the overtime hours out, but they expect him to go to the shop at 7:pm and he won't get paid until 9:pm!! So ANOTHER wasted 2 hours!!!
Also, he works with ex-cons, men on parole from prison, and those that are required to get tested for drugs regularly. He HATES it!! It is just too much for him. It's not a good place, especially for Tyler.
They all smoke all the time, like I said, but that has really made Tyler the most uncomfortable. It makes him physically sick. He HATES cigarette smoke and just cannot respect people who smoke like that. He thinks they're *sick*.
Then last night/this morning, he said it was just the ultimate. They speak so bad and are just the epitome of vulgar talking about sex and women's body parts in great and graphic detail and they're VERY VERY disrespectful. He hears this the entire time he's at work. And No he cannot put in head phones at his job. It's too dangerous. That and also every other word is the F word and that can get overly offensive.
Now he's tried to tune them out, but last night hit the worst. HIS BOSS brought porn to work!!!!! He brought it and ALL of them gathered around and were looking at it but Tyler. He kept away and was thoroughly disgusted. Tyler cannot respect a man who looks at that garbage and he was so offended by their disrespect and weakness and immoral behavior and speech that he had his boss sign his time card, loaded up and left.
Then his boss being a jerk called Tyler while Tyler was on his way home and said "where'd you go? I didn't dismiss you from work". Even though the time card was signed and the job was all done. I think he just didn't like that Tyler had left upset and wouldn't look at the porn with them.
Also, they stole two of his batteries!!! That was another 200.00 bucks down the drain!!!!!!!
Tyler is soooooooo mad and disappointed and disgusted.
TYLER TAKING THIS JOB AND WORKING HIS BUTT OFF SHOWS HIS LOVE FOR HIS FAMILY!!!!!!! HE'S DOING WHATEVER HE CAN TO TAKE CARE OF ALL OF US AND HE'S SACRIFICED SO MUCH AND ALL FOR NOTHING!!!!!!! I just hope and pray that our Heavenly Father sees Tyler's great efforts and loyalty and BLESSES HIM FOR IT with a decent job!! He DESERVES a good job!!! He's smart and a very hard worker, he has great work ethic.
So now I know why I wasn't super excited about this job. I couldn't feel really happy about it and I was SICK about it from the very beginning. Everyone kept telling me "don't stress about it. It'll work out" etc etc but I KNEW it was bad. This isn't on Tyler at all. I love Tyler so much and my respect for him just doubled! If that's possible ;). Tyler is a REAL MAN. He's a real man because HE works and doesn't make me do it, he's a real man because he does what it takes to take care of his family, and he's a real man ESPECIALLY because he stands up for what is right!!!!!!! He doesn't put up with this garbage and he's not going to any longer.
He's going to quit. And like always, I support him 100%.
I love to support my husband. Just like in the Proclamation to the World, Tyler and I support each other. I don't take over his job and he doesn't take over mine, that's not what it means. I support Tyler in all that he does trusting fully in him to do what is right because I know he will. Because Tyler keeps God's commandments to the best of his ability, and because I know his head is on straight, I trust him to always make the best choice. Of course he has flaws like we all do, but I choose not to dwell on them. Tyler knows that he has my full support and he's allowed complete freedom because he's his own man and he knows I respect that. I'm just so blessed to have married a man that continues to grow in leaps and bounds and WOW he's more of a man every day in my eyes.
I just keep praying that Heavenly Father will bless him with a decent job that he deserves.
I mean gosh, I can't even get a job and Tyler is way more qualified to get a better job than I can because of his experience.
If I had a car I'd get a part-time job. None of the businesses close to us that I could walk to are hiring. But you know, I feel that we're doing what we're supposed to be doing, even though many others doubt that. It's not up to other people what we do, it's between Tyler and I and the Lord, and I fully believe that we're doing what's right and the best we can.
Like Lacie going to public school. We both know it's RIGHT for her at this time. I don't know what the future holds, but it's the way Heavenly Father wants it right now. We live where he wants us right now, and we're doing the best we can and that's all Heavenly Father asks is that we do our best.
After all, he has told us that we should not run faster than we are able. I see too many people doing this and it's not healthy on many levels.
Okay now I'm rambling. I just have a lot to write right now. I have a lot in my mind. And a lot in my heart.
Soon I get to go walk and pick up my perfect little Lacie from school at her second day at school. She's such a good girl and I'm sure had a great time today. She was so excited to go she forgot to say Bye to me!! hahaha.
I love my little family with all my heart and they're everything to me. My entire world! And they're more important to me than school or a job or my own personal endeavors/desires and I feel extremely blessed to have them in my life.
So I wanted to write a blog a little bit about me and how I feel and stuff.
While growing up I didn't have many friends. I had a few and I loved them dearly and kept them as close as I can. Those friends were: Molly Hosmer, April, Kristin, Kathy & Karen Subashe, my cousins Emily Hegerhorst and Jeni Hegerhorst, and then later Trina Thompson. I had other good acquaintances and what-not, but no close friends. Especially when I was younger.
I was SO SO skinny that I used to be bullied by family and peers alike. It wasn't my fault and I didn't have an eating disorder. People hated me for it.
I was always made fun of, picked on, devided from everyone else, the brunt of everyone's joke, etc. It was really, really bad.
I was really shy and kept to myself for the most part. Whenever I did talk or laugh I got horribly dirty looks. It was really hard.
Then I moved to Lehi and went to American Fork High school and actually made lots of friends! It was great! I finally had a life and enjoyed it, too.
I was a very good girl. I never even kissed a boy (on purpose) until I was 19 years old!! lol!!
Then I got a scholarship to Utah Valley State College and did really well, except in Spanish! lol. I failed that and half-way through stopped going, esp after the teacher called me stupid in front of the entire class. That was the 2nd time I've been told that in front of a class. It's sooo humiliating and degrading!!
While in college I did Reserve Officer Training Corp which I LOVED LOVED LOVED!!!
I went from not being able to do ONE push-up to doing 200 a day!!! I'd do 100 every morning and 100 every night, EASY. I did 400 sit-ups a day, too.
I joined a community swim team and every morning got up at 4 and picked up one of my best friends, Dori Grange, and we'd go swimming for 2 1/2 hours STRAIGHT with no breaks. That was a great workout!
With another friend I did Kick-boxing and another martial art every other day. That was the best work-out ever!!
Then I went with another friend to the gym 1-2 times A DAY!!
I'd eat salads, donuts, rolls, mashed potatoes, and just plain ol' fiber and protein pastes (YUCK).
I was in SUPERB shape!
I could run up and down Provo canyon no problem at all and then jump into the damn with no breaks, swim out easily, and continue to run.
I could do over 20 pullups in a matter of seconds.
I could live off of only 4 hours of sleep a night and do all of this the next day!
I could go to a dance club allll night long and NEVER get tired at all! I'd dance NON-STOP, no sweat!
I was super flexible, had lots of energy, so much strength, and felt great!
I was doing a little bit of modeling here and there.
Then I got offered a HUGE opportunity!
I was offered to be one of the finalist auditioners to go to LA and audition for the future new hit TV show, Friends. Dead serious! I was told to tell NO ONE for a long time.
When I got my mission call I had to turn it down and my agent was FURIOUS. She yelled and yelled at me.
Then almost 100% of my friends turned their backs on me for deciding to serve a mission.
They'd ridicule me at school, at work, everywhere public and private. It was horrible, but it didn't sway me at all.
So I gave up all my dreams and went on a mission.
I was constantly exhausted on my mission and my periods were getting worse and worse and worse. I'm talking about EXTREME pain here.
Also before my mission I got infected with E-Coli, the BAD and very dangerous and deadly kind. I was the only case that year in the country let alone my state! I had state health dept calling me and the country's health dept calling me and this big ol' investigation made to find the source of my illness.
The pain was more than any I've ever felt. It was like childbirth but worse because the pain was constant.
I couldn't talk, walk, eat, drink or anything.
All my veins collapsed, I was severely dehydrated, and bleeding out of my bum and mouth.
I was hospitalized and the only thing they said they could do for me was drug me up and remove my large colon cuz it was so damaged.
I got a Priesthood blessing and my colon improved that very night so it was saved.
The Morphin I was on didn't make one bit of difference for the pain. I didn't even care if I was naked I hurt so bad.
The doc asked if there was anything he could do for me and I was DEAD SERIOUS when I whispered to him to gut me.
I broke my leg playing soccer and I would rather my worst enemy break both their legs than go through E-Coli!!
After my mission I got a cyst on my ovary caused by Endometriosis and it ruptured and I hemoraged for hours. Stupid doctors didn't help me. I should've gone to the ER.
I ended up having a D&C and then later a Laporoscopic surgery for the Endo.
Since then my health has steadily and increasingly gone down-hill drastically.
Both of my pregnancies were high risk. I almost lost both of them! I won't go into detail but it was very serious and I could NOT work or I'd lose my babies. hardly worth it don't ya think? lol.
I remained really skinny, even after having Lacie. Even while pregnant with Sophie.
I got really sick with Sophie and NOBODY believed me! for FIVE LOOONG MONTHS I was so super suffering. Nobody believed it and just kept saying it was just pregnancy pains. WHATEVER!
Finally after seeing like 8 doctors one referred me to a specialist and they got me right in.
I had Gall Bladder Inflammatory Disease. NOT caused by being over-weight like most cases, or by eating bad, like most cases, or by my age, like most cases. Mine was a VERY RARE case they said.
It was so severe they HAD to take it out while I was pregnant. It was deadly for both Sophie and I to not take it out ASAP.
After I had that out I gained so much weight!
We could never figure out why!
But my body was having a hard time digesting everything.
After that I got Hypothyroidism, which took like 1 1/2 years to figure out, severe Acid Reflux Disease. It was so bad that the acid would go up my throat and into my lungs! They say that pain is like having a serious heart attack. I can vouch for that! It was so severe that I couldn't even dial 911, which I tried to cuz I was sure I was dying.
Then Migraines came on. And more Endometriosis that's caused multiple problems.
And now a severe magnesium deficiency.
I've had mono at least twice now.
And a broken foot I walked on for 3 months without knowing it but suffereing silently. It's not permanantly damaged and hurts every single day of my life.
I got into a car accident that threw my back and pelvis out and broke my right hand, which they didn't believe the jerks.
Also due to family issues (I just have to say it because it's so true) and my health issues and financial issues, I got bad depression. Mostly from Post-Partum. It was so severe I won't even say how bad it was cuz it's just sad and embarrassing. I then got serious Anxiety issues, severe Insomnia, and some paranoyia.
I've been on many medications now.
My weight WILL NOT got down and I've been SO judged by it.
I've been severely exhausted.
I probably have heart disease and my doctor's all want me to get my heart checked but I've had so many other issues come up now that I just have been putting it off.
My teeth are rotting and in super pain but nobody even cares. I'm supposed to get at least one root canal. It's so bad it's given me this rotting stenchy breath!
My Neurologist says that my migraines, if they go untreated, WILL result in a stroke they're so bad and also due to my family medical history.
I have high cholesterole, too.
And now I, about 98% sure, have skin cancer. Not serious kind, but having it none-the-less is NOT cool! I have spots all over my face and head. ONe is growing rapidly and I'll be getting that removed on Monday.
This is NOT fun.
People wonder why I don't work and why I don't exercise and get thin again and seem so negative.
I really am very positive considering all of this and more that I've been through.
There's a reason for everything. And there's a reason for why I suffer through so much. I take it all in stride and I really believe I handle it very well considering.
I have been HARSHLY judged by friends, family and others alike. Still some hate me and stay away from me. They think I make things up or think that I'm a mean or bad person. It's like WHAT???? They do NOT know me at all.
One day all who have talked bad about me, thought bad about me, and treated me bad will regret it. That's a promise. I know in my heart that I am a very good and decent person and they're making mistakes.
Being rejected by family is the hardest, esp when they don't have good reasons, or if they just go by what others have said to them about me that are lies, exagerations, misinterpretations and misunderstandings.
I'm not talking about ONE family in particular, okay?
I'm a good mommy and a good wife and I love my family more than anything else in existence!! I nurture my children and my husband.
I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS give them compliments. Like all the time!! I'm very loving and passionate towards them and I listen to them.
I TRY AND DO MY ABSOLUTE BEST!!!!!!
I used to be so top-notch healthy and now look at me. And I'm blamed for it!!
How could anyone blame me for how I am now?? HOW?? It's NOT my fault but my calling in life, obviously.
I don't bring on these problems. They just come. Right after another, and on top of each other.
I now have pneumonia and I'm so exhausted, yet again!
I'm SO grateful for a husband who helps me out so much around the house and with the girls! He might lack compassion or understanding about 99% of the time (thanks to negative things said to him all the time about me), but he does take super good care of my babies and responsibilities around the house and even for me when I ask.
I really realy really hope that this crap will pass!
I'm seriously considering going back to school full-time to do R.O.T.C. again to kick my butt back but I'm afraid that it might kill me. I really am. I know something's wrong with my heart.
The constant pain and pressure I feel on a daily basis. The hard time breathing. The really heavy and hard pounding of my heart beats. The severe exhaustion and NEVER getting enough sleep!!
Even with my CPAP machine for my Sleep Apnea isn't good enough!!
My Sleep Apnea is really bad. I stop breathing from 10 second to over 1 minute at a time, and do this all night long.
I have SEVERELY disturbing and horrifying dreams every time I sleep so I HATE going to sleep.
I mean my dreams are GORRY and horrifying. Doesn't matter what I watch or what I listen to or anything. i've had them almost all my life, but they're getting worse and worse.
They don't scare me so much, they're just very disturbing and I don't understand why I have them.
I have serious anxiety when I have to go around ANY family at all pretty much because of the harsh judgments I've recieved and harsh things that have been said about me and to me. It's really not fair. It's hurt me.
But I am very forgiving and accepting and really really can love EVERYBODY sooooo easily!!
This is good and bad. Bad because it ALWAYS comes back and bites me in the butt! I'm too loving and caring and accepting and trusting.
I trust everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Because of this I am constantly being hurt and disappointed and taken advantage of.
I've made a few bad decisions in my life like everyone else, but only ONE serious choice that I've had to pay the consequences to for years and probably for the rest of Eternity. But I know I've been forgiven.
because of what I've been through I will NEVER EVER EVER forsake the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know for SURE and complete CERTAINTY that it is God's church. I KNOW because of the things I've personally witnessed that are way too sacred to tell anyone except maybe my husband.
So no matter what goes on in my life, or what others say or think about me, or what happens with my health or anything, I know where I stand.
I know my God and his church come FIRST, my family SECOND, myself THIRD, my country FOURTH. And so on and on.
I wish so much that problems people have with me that they'd just LISTEN to me and get to know me by heart and know what type of person I am.
I wish they'd give me a CHANCE.
I'm a very rational, reasonable, and understanding person and am always filled with deep compassion for anyone.
I don't like it when people outright reject Jesus Christ and his Gospel and church, but I still will love everyone despite their beliefs. Even that crappy, dishonest, dark and misleading and lying and scary, evil scary, Obama.
I am very, very confident with my knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the church. And I am very VERy confident in my standing with my beliefs and morals and ideas, etc.
I feel so SO bad about how I've been physically. It really is so hard on me when I was SO out there with everything and in such perfect shape and form.
I've NEVER EVER been known to be lazy!
Now I've been told that people think I am because I don't go out and do Tyler's job at being the bread-maker or whatever you call it.
I've been told I'm lazy cuz my house isn't spotless and I'm not gone all day doing things, like working or whatever.
Poeple, if you only knew!!!!!!!!!
I know God does. And in the end that's ALL that matters.
Meantime my life goes on and I'm dealing with it the best way that I can.
I am NOT feeling sorry for myself. I am NOT seeking pity and attention.
I am NOT trying to embarrass anybody or make anythign worse.
I am NOT trying to pick a fight.
I am NOT whining!!
I'm just sharing and explaining.
I am very open and very sharing because I'm very trusting and believe it's BETTER to be open and honest about everything but that which is SACRED.
Anyway, that is another topic altogether!! lol
Okay, any questions? Comments? Whatever... please write them here on my blog, whoever you are.
Now back to chatting with Amy, one of my best friends 
CLEAN WASH
A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside."That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"
The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."
And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.
~Author Unknown~
