To Keep You Up (cuz I KNOW you're dying of curiosity) lol

Well, so, I'll give an update although I've been putting it off for a while waiting to put on here any GOOD news for a change.
Not much good has happened, quite honestly, but I'll try to note the positive things first, k? :)
Tyler's doing excellent in school. I'm so proud of him! He truly has found his niche. It's great. All the years of hard work and major struggling is paying off in his good grades. It's REALLY lifted his self esteem and confidence. My smart Tyler is really blooming and I ALWAYS knew it was in him! Sure some thought I was too hard on him, but I KNEW he was there. He just hesitated too much, doubted himself, etc. But now he has no need to doubt himself. He just is awesome. :)

I'm proud of myself for keeping my kitchen CLEAN! Yay! A clean kitchen makes me feel so happy. Oh, and I'm also now officially hired by my sweet sister-in-law Alicia to clean her house for her. She's pregnant and soooooo sick the poor girl!! She's quite the trooper and almost never complains but is just more sick than I think I could ever handle! I wish my bro would get his bum in gear and help her out more. I'm a little disappointed in his unhelpful attitude. I want to pay him a piece of my mind LOL. Perhaps he's suffering from depression. That I can understand.

I also got a part-time job!!! YAY!!!!!!! I guess that's really good news, eh?
I get 8 an hour with max 15 hours I can work a week. So far I've only been able to squeeze in 6 hours a week. I know that sounds pathetic, but it's hard to work when the girls are all around me and Tyler has to study for school and the house needs cleaning or the yard needs watering or I'm having a bad period (which is the case right now HAHAHA).
I am technically called the Marketing Director. It's for Women in Business Magazine. It's an excellent magazine and I need to sell advertisement spaces in it!! ANYBODY, PLEASE, ADVERTISE WITH THEM!! I get commission off of it and that's our only hope of help right now financially. Anyway, the prices are very reasonable and I can make almost any deals I want or discounts. It goes to 10,000 people in Utah County and it's a free magazine. It's mailed to them. So it's like one of the most effective ways to advertise. It's a great magazine. Even my mom likes it :). www.WBMagazine.org
Okay, so that's what I'm doing right now.
I just need to get out and go solicit business in the area and what-not. Anybody have businesses they know of that could be interested? You can just pass along the info and I won't tell them who sent it if you don't want me to.

Sophie's been sick the last couple of days. Fever, throwing up, being tired, all that. She just woke up now and it's 4am. UGH!! Tyler and I are both up. He was doing homework and I was catching up with things online.

I'm going to go see a Uro-Gyn. That's a specialist that's in Urology & Gynocology. I'm sooooo not happy to see a man AT ALL. I'm so against men doctors doing women things. It just really grosses me out and freaks me out so bad!!! I've had bad experiences with two docs so I have ligit reasons to be freaked out of them. I think they're all perverts. Period. You can't convince me otherwise so don't even try.
Okay, anyway, I'm going to see this guy cuz my midwives don't know what to do for me or my reg doc (who I can't see anymore anyway cuz I can't pay the man). I have been having MAJOR pain when I go potty. Like BAD pain. Like it feels like my insides are ripping out when I go. Perhaps it's just a really bad pulled muscle, but whatever it is it HURTS. I've been tested a couple of times and one time there was blood but no infection and another time infection and another time just minerals. Okay, I was tested 3 times lol. I can't count at 4 in the morning! :)
Anyway, then another thing that's kinda bothering me. Perhaps it's my diet, or my endometriosis is causing all of these problems, which is very likely, but I go from diarreah to constipation. And it's BAD. Like I cannot go at all and I sit there. And the stomach pain is sooo awful. SO bad. I feel soooo sick. The pain is a mixture between feeling like I have the stomach flu with diarreah pain to gas to cramps and to some other feeling I haven't felt before. So I have no idea what's going on.
I've been putting off telling anyone these problems just cuz I always have so many. And it's so tiring to hear about, I know.
I know a lot of people don't even care and are really calloused and like to think that they'd handle these problems better than I do so I just don't like talking about it sometimes cuz I don't want heartless, cold people around me to make fun of me (which I've been told happens when I write blogs). I want loving, supportive people.
But most importantly, I want ANSWERS and SOLUTIONS!!!
I'm really really really really tired of getting fatter and fatter and FATTER all the time!! And not just fatter, but everything else. My thyroid is screwing up again. It's going more and more hypo, AGAIN, and I'm getting harrier and harrier and losing all the hair on my head. I'm SOOOOOOO UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously!!

OH GREAT. Lacie just threw up right now!!!! oh man. WE DON'T EVER EVER GET A BREAK!!!!! It's over and over and over again. one thing after another.

you know I was praying about this CRAP that we go through and you know the answer I got? WE ARE REQUIRED TO GO THROUGH IT. Just like when you're required to take a final to get your final grade, or required to pay your taxes, or required to put gas in your car in order to drive it. Something like that. WE HAVE to go through this. So we just have to endure.
But Heavenly Father did not say we have to do it alone.
That's why we have family, and friends. And thanks to Heavenly Father we have some good family and LOTS of really good friends. :)
You can't pick the fam but you can pick your friends and sometimes you can pick some family to be your friends! hee hee. And we have. (we love you guys so much!).

So anyway, I didn't have a period for two months and was in LOTS of pain. I finally started my monthly joy last weekend (Friday I think) and it's still going strong. Like I'm talking having to change every single hour. It's AWFUL. Tyler wants me to go to the ER tomorrow cuz it's so bad. And it's not letting up. It's getting worse.
SOMEONE PLEASE FIX ME!!!!

*sigh*
I just feel like sobbing right now. I'm sooooo tired. Tired of everything.

One more thing. A nosey neighbor called the police on me.
Why?
Because they assumed I lock my girls outside and won't let them back into the house!!!!! Isn't that AWFUL???
I was sitting on my lawn chair when two cop cars pulled up and said a neighbor called and said I NEVER watch my kids and I ALWAYS lock them out and they'll be banging on the door crying to come in and I won't let them. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT??? I was SHOCKED. Either Tyler or I are ALWAYS out there with them!!!!
I was more than pissed. I was FURIOUS. So mad that I went to two separate neighbors to ask if they called. Of course both said no.
But Tyler's 100% sure it was the ones across the street. Nosey people that they are. I am soooo mad about this and so is Tyler so we're not letting our girls play with that kid of theirs anymore unless we can see everything that's going on. This mother across the street told Lacie that I should be watching her and not Tyler.
I mean I had to give Sophie a bath cuz she peed her panties and that was FIVE MINUTES and Lacie went back outside and she called the cops. OH MY GOSH.
I HATE this place. :(
The cops were embarrassed to have been called out. They said it was a waste of their time but the have to when someone calls, esp about children. They saw me sitting out there watching my girls and were like, "uh, you obviously are watching your kids". DUH you think? lol

Okay, there's the latest update.

I hope I figure out what the heck is wrong with me before I get too heavy that I'll need bipass surgery and have heart disease and not be able to have any more kids and have a body of a 50 or 60 yr old instead of the 30 yr old. Cuz frankly what I'm going through shouldn't be happening to someone as young as I am.

Oh, it's my birthday next week. I'm going to be so old lol. At least I FEEL super old. (read above for why that is).
I want something pleasant and nice and sweet to surprise me on my birthday. Anything to cheer me up!!! :(

Run-in with a Mexican Gang-banger kid!

It's really not this huge deal, but it was significant enough that I called the cops and am a little freaked out right now.

Lacie was across the street playing when this little boy, about 4 yrs old, picked up a huge branch from the ground and started whipping her with it. She was trying to hit him back but couldn't reach him cuz that darn branch was so long. Anyway he got her face a good whip and she started screaming and crying like Lacie does. That pissed me off so I yelled, like super loud, "DON'T TOUCH HER!!!!" It freaked him out so he took off running home.

Lacie and Sophie came home and I put them in the bathtub.

Right as they were getting in someone pounded on my door good and loud. So I answered it and there was this short stocky Mexican kid, about 16 yrs old I'm guessing, maybe older, fuming.
He told me that his little brother came home crying to him and saying that Lacie had punched him in the face. I'm like no she didn't. I was standing right outside watching the entire thing. He kept arguing with me saying that Lacie was lying and that his little brother was telling the truth.
There were like 20 or so Mexican kids surrounding our townhome this entire time, and, most of the neighbors were outside standing on their porches watching us.

I've got a mouth on me and where my children are concerned I do NOT put up with any crap at all.
I told him that Lacie is my child and I have every right to defend her and take care of her and when I see anybody beating on my kids I'll yell at them if I want to. He was telling me I had no right to yell at his little brother. I said he had no right coming over here to get in my face about it. He's the brother, not the parent. I told him if his parents didn't like any of it they should come talk to me themselves. I made it clear that I speak Spanish and understand their culture.
He was swearing and yelling and threatening me and the girls. Threatening to kick our a%$'s and other things. I told him he's a very bad example to little kids. It's kids like him that end up in and out of jail and that's a bad example. He was yelling this entire time, not making much sense, just using stupid threatening lines that we've all heard in movies, and said, "so what that I've been in jail?" and was grabbing his crotch and flipping me off when he said it and then was calling me swear words in Spanish and in English.
I noticed that he had a group of che's all hanging around where he came from. They'd slowly started to move towards us from across the street. They were gang signing and so was he and swearing and laughing and pointing at our place.

I shut the door and locked it, of course. Then cuz I couldn't get a hold of Ty (he was at school) I called my dad who told me to call the cops, so I did.

Before the cops came I went next door and asked the Mexican girls there about the kids who had caused these problems. The older one that had been threatening me is named Julio, and the younger one that was whipping Lacie is named Diego. Anyway, they told me that Julio has gotten into lots of trouble with the police and is very scary and dangerous.

The cops went around and asked the neighbors about these kids and they all claimed they didn't know him but saw the little fight and sided with Lacie, of course.
The cop told me that this is common cuz they're just looking after their own butts so they don't get into trouble with these gang-bangers.

So now I'm kinda freaked out. This kid did NOT scare me at all. Not even an ounce. But what does make me nervous is what they are capable of doing when nobody is looking. I'm scared for my girls' safety and for our property that's outside that we have no room for in our small townhome. I'm worried that they come shoot our windows out.

Tyler made a good point. Kids like these have nothing to lose and everything to prove so there's nothing to stop them.

I WANT TO MOVE TO A DECENT NEIGHBORHOOD WITH A DECENT PLACE TO LIVE IN!!!!! I'm seriously sick of living like white-trash around people like this!!!!!!!

Another Day Among Days Of Some Progress

Well right now Tyler is in Dallas, Texas, for a seminar given by Dani Johnson. I've listened to her off and on now for several weeks and bought some material of hers.I am really putting my faith in this woman. We've spent a lot already. I was supposed to go with Tyler to Dallas but two things happened: we couldn't get the money in our account fast enough to buy the plane tickets for the price we could afford and 2nd we could not find anybody to help watch our kids on three of the fours days we'd be gone. Thanks to my sister, Andrea, she would've been able to stay the nights and my brother, Glenn & his wife Andrea, would've had them all day Sunday. But Tyler's mom wouldn't take them on Saturday and our sister-in-law on Friday or Saturday and my mom on Monday. They had a couple things going on, but mostly I think it's that they didn't want to bother with it so much. A 3 and 1 year old are hard ages to watch sometimes. My 1 yr old especially is hard to watch! She gest into EVERYTHING. She's a busy little thing! She reminds me of her father in that way. Silently getting into mischeof (I know I can't spell!).Anyway, so here I sit, all alone at home. Right now the girls are with some friends of ours watching a movie and goofing around. It's 11:20pm!! But Sophie took a 5 hour nap today!! Yikes!! I hope this helps them sleep through the night because neither of them have been sleeping well for awhile now.Today I went to see a psychiatrist. YIKES I wasn't excited about that. I'm sitting there gabbing away and he wears his thoughts all over his face!! Oh my gosh. Yeah. It wasn't a miserable time but boy was I being read and judged. Oh my gosh.He diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (the Spirit told me I had this about a week ago already) and Depression. LOVELY. He even suspected a type of bi-polar.Oh my gosh I'm just a big mess. It sucks. He gave me a prescription for a cheap and good medication that should help calm my overly stressed out nerves and such. I hope I like it. I hope it's okay with my thyroid medication, which it probably is, but you know.And that brings me to my next thing: My Thyroid. Damned thing just doesn't want to work anymore!So it's a HYPO problem and I started medication not even two months ago. So far I can tell it's helping some. I'm losing a lot of hair though. I have been losing water weight and that's good. People say I'm looking better.I attribute to that to the GoYin I'm taking, though. Well, mostly anyway.It's done some amazing and neat and miraculous things for some people already. I've tried to take it consistently for 2 months now, but it's not been completely consistent. I can sure tell when I haven't taken it!! Tyler does great on it too, and so do my girls. It's such good stuff. And now that I'm talking about that I might as well mention here that in our OFFICIAL first week of being in GoYin (not on the TV show thank goodness) we made almost $1,000.00!! Yeah, great huh? But none since, dagnabbit. Of course that's only been like two weeks ago, but still.Tyler has been ON FIRE about it. I just wish others would BELIEVE us and catch the vision of it! Tyler wants this to be his way out of HAVING to work every day and living a better life. He is talking to so many people! I have been lazy in it, though. I actually have been lazy at EVERYTHING though! It's my depression. I seriously cannot help it. I'm too tired and losing interest in all sorts of things. IT SUCKS.And one of my friends let herself be convinced from her mother not to do GoYin. I'm so sad for her!! I was so excited for her to get somewhere and make a good life for her and her daughters! She reminded me of Dani Johnson herself in a lot of way. But what a sick and sad surprise. It broke my heart. She, of course, couldn't understand why it bothered me so much. I just hate seeing people giving up something that will change their lives for the better and forever.Just like when someone rejects the Gospel as I believe it and know it to be. It's a very sad day when someone says NO to something that will bring them better happiness, success, knowledge and peace in their lives.Oh I'm so tired! ack. I wish I was with Tyler! I NEEEDED this seminar!! I really hope Tyler's fire catches on to me. I really do!Okay, now to get off of this thing and see if I can clean up this messy office/toy room.And sit in front of the TV again and watch HGTV like usual.And pray that things start to turn for the better around here!