Lacie broke her arm!!!!!!!

My poor little Lacie (the 5 yr old) broke her arm!!! This is the SECOND time
but on the OTHER arm! The first time was due to her daddy pushing her in the
Home Depot parking lot at top speed while she stood in the basket (against her
mother's wishes) instead of being seat belted in! Tyler took a corner a bit
too fast and Lacie went flying out of the cart, head first, onto the black top.
She suffered a severe concussion and broke both bones in her left fore-arm. Like
a BAD break! Luckily the bones didn't come out the skin, but her arm was like
jello! She didn't cry a single tear! So, tonight we'd gotten back from
Kadie & Tony's after having loads of fun watching the first Tomb Raider and
watching the guys play their Gran Turismo 4 game on the PS2, eating a delicious
dinner made by Kadie and eating some disgusting donuts brought by me, and got
the girls in their jammies and we were about ready to say family prayer when the
girls got wild and ran upstairs and started jumping on our bed (that's a no-no)
and giggling and laughing hysterically while Tyler and I talked downstairs for a
couple minutes about his history test he was about ready to start when we both
heard this loud BANG and then a few moments later a very freaked out and
panicked cry from Lacie. "Uh oh! That doesn't sound good!" So Tyler ran up there
and I walked (there's LOTS & LOTS of drama in this house with three girls
hee hee so I didn't realize it was an emergency) and Lacie was crying more from
being frustrated that we weren't up there right when it happened. She accused
me, while sitting at the top of the stairs cradling her right arm, "mom! You
were supposed to be there to catch me when I fell!!" Isn't that just the most
ironic and saddest thing?? Aren't parents supposed to be there when we fall
to catch us? That's what parents are for, right? No, I'm NOT feeling guilty cuz
it was totally not my fault, but I sure thought about that a little when she
said that. Anyway, I felt soooo bad!! She said, "I broke it! I broke my arm!
I broke the bones inside of my arm". I held her arm and her hand and they were
very loose and weak and wobbly. I KNEW it was broken just by the feel of it.
Last time she broke her arm (when she was 2 1/2) I had to hold her broken arm
then and it was grotesque!! But I know the feeling of a broken bone and I knew
it was this time, too. I held her in the car (I know that's a big no-no, too)
and we hurried to Orem Community Hospital ER with poor Sophie crying in her
carseat the entire time. She was totally confused and freaked out, poor little
thing! I called my parents and they and Josh hurried down from Lehi where
they met us in our ER room. Now get this. Lacie was perfectly CALM. She was just
fine! No crying, totally collected and reasonable and talkative, even started to
move her arm and hand around a bit and wiggle her fingers. The nurse-chick comes
in to check her. Now if any of you have ever brought your kids to the
doctor's or the ER for stuff like this they HAVE to check for signs of abuse. I
am so glad they do this!! There are so many reported cases of children coming in
with broken bones and bruises and the parents try to hit it off as some stupid
freak child accident when in fact THEY did it to their own children!! Pisses me
off royally! So they checked all her bones for any other possible breaks,
checked her head since she did bang that pretty hard on the wall, checked the
back of her neck in case she hurt it from banging her head, and checked for
bruises and for a fever. She DOES have a fever. 100.6! So they tested her
for strep. Luckily she got over that, but we figure she has the flu cuz the when
the nurse asked where she hurt she said EVERYWHERE! hahaha. When the nurse
asked her how bad her pain was and showed her little smiley-face pictures for
kids to see Lacie pointed at the #10 one!! Well, outwardly there was NOOOOO WAY
of knowing she hurt that bad!!! But she was pretty darn adament about that #10
being her worst pain! So, the nurse was thinking Lacie was being dramatic,
my parents did, and Tyler and I wondered, too, because she really CAN
be. They all decided they didn't think it was broken. They ordered x-rays
and she got pushed in a wheel chair. When the x rays were all done (she held
perfectly still) the radiologist had this little smile on his face and didn't
say a word. I was like, "hmmm". Then the doc came in before he saw the x rays
and evaluated her himself and said he didn't think it was broken because she was
acting like everything was just honkey-dorey, besides saying where it hurt. Then
he went out and looked at the x rays and came back in. His face!!
hahaha! He was completely shocked!! He said, "well, she's right! She knows
it's broken because it is!" She broke BOTH bones in her right fore-arm. Not
as bad as she broke the left arm 2 1/2 years ago, but bad enough! He was sooo
surprised! She broke it pretty good, he said. She had to have landed on that arm
really hard. And judging by the break he said she had to have landed on the palm
of her hand which took the brunt of her fall. He'd asked before if she felt
the bone break and she said Yes. He kinda had smirked at that, but now he knew
she knew exactly what she was talking about! My Lacie is no
dummy!! And, she takes after her mother having and EXTREMELY high tolerance
to pain!! Although mine has worn off A LOT hahaha. This little girl of
ours is amazing. I'm not bragging or exagerating, but she's near
perfect. She's extremely brilliant. She's so mature. She's so special and
unique. She really is my angel! It was a MIRACLE that I got pregnant with
her. Totally a shock! Not only was I NOT supposed to be able to have kids but I
was on birth control, too! I KNEW she wanted to come here and I could feel her
spirit before we even got married that she was in a big hurry to get here. I got
pregnant with her right after we got married. That very same month!! She was the
most PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT baby anybody could ever hope for or wish for or
dream for. Ask anyone who knew her. She was flawless. She even won all the
baby pageants we put her in!! hahaha. She won everyone's heart. She still
does, when she doesn't get all dramatic! lol Anyway, she's doing so
bravely right now. She's knocked out on Lortab on our couch, silently
sleeping. No crying or whimpering or complaining. Just being perfect, like
herself. :) If anyone wants to come see her this week PLEASE PLEASE DO!!!
She LOVES people (just like her mommy does) and LOVES visitors! And LOVES LOVES
LOVES CHOCOLATE!!! :) So if anyone feels like coming to spoil my little
girl please do, k? I'm not begging for a hand-out, just thinking about what
would make her happy. I'm sure she'd love to tell her arm-breaking story over
and over and over again like she does about her first arm-breaking experience!
lol She'd especially love to see any of her friends! Okay, I'm
babbling cuz it's late and I'm super super tired and love-struck by my amazing
daughter.

Money Money Money Money Money Money Money

So I was thinking about this and Tyler and I have talked about it and my parents have and Kimberley and I have and many others, but, when it comes to Money, we're all a little different than I think a lot, or most, people are with it.
Okay, sure you can say we're bad with it. Go ahead and say it, think it, whatever, but it doesn't matter cuz that's a matter of opinion and perspective and priorities, quite frankly.
I have an old boss that was a multi-millionaire. We worked side-by-side and became pretty darn good friends. I admired this man. He was incredibly intelligent, but, when you first met him you would think he was a bum from Australia, because of his speach impediment, and also because of what he drove and what he wore. To him impressions didn't mean much at all, it was work ethic that mattered most.
Some people think material things DO matter because impressions DO matter. Some people think family matters most, or their career, or their church or "platform". Some think that the earth matters most, life, nature, or sports. You name it, we all think something different from another and all our priorities are slightly or greatly different from one another's.
Anyway, to get to the main point of me writing this blog, I think that Tyler and I have a similar belief system when it comes to money. Oh sure there are differing priorities, but we both know that we think a lot alike when it comes to how to spend money or who to spend it on, etc.
For example, when it comes to helping other people we know and/or care about we are more than willing to spend money on them. Say we decide we want to go to dinner with the family, or with some close friends, and their company is worth more to us than our money and we have enough to share we will PAY FOR THEM to eat with us. We'll pay for friends/family to go see a movie with us, or we'll provide dinner or whatever it takes to spend time with these people. We have NEVER been "rich" or had plenty for our needs and wants. We have been comfortable for a short period of time and during that time we paid for anything for friends and family.
That time when we were doing fine financially we even bought the entire Christmas and food and tickets to a game for a single mom and her child. That was the greatest Christmas ever!! We've helped with bills and food and entertainment for those we care about. We'll loan out money, or just give it to them.
Now, we don't have ANY extra money. As a matter of fact we've been sued a couple of times now and there are just medical bills piling up by the week and, well, life is happening. Tyler DOES have a good-paying job so we do NOT qualify for state assistence in any way, but all our checks go to these people sueing us or surprise bills and to keep our utilities and phone and what-not from being shut off.
There are some people who have enough, or even don't have enough, who have helped us. God bless them for that. They are truly charitable people God will, and is, blessing. There are some who will NOT help. Why?
Well, here are the reasons I've heard from wealthier people in the past for not helping out people who struggle financially:
1. they think they are enabling them.
2. they think they are being taken advantage of
3. they know they'll never get paid back
4. they worked hard for what they have
5. they think the other person is lazy
6. they think it's a temporary fix for a more permanant problem
well, these are the basic reasons. I know more an can go on, but I don't want to. It kinda irritates me.
These people have turned into gods. No joking!! They have! Why? Well, because they are deciding what's best for the person who is in need. They are making judgments based on their limited knowledge and experience. They are being selfish, plain and simply put, and PRIDEFUL. They think they are BETTER than the people who are needy.
They think they work harder, are smarter, have better priorities, are wiser, deserve what they have, and that everything they have is THEIRS to KEEP and not required to give or share. They think that God obviously has blessed them with what they have because they DESERVE it, OR, they think they're THAT GOOD that they deserve it for all their ______ (fill in the blank with: hard word, wisdom, education, experience, intelligence, good inheritance, straight priorities and/or sacrifice).
But what if, for example, the table was turned and those with money had none or very little and those without money suddenly had what they needed or more than what they needed? What would change?
From my own personal experience, and based from what many, many others have mentioned to me before, that those without money now are the types of people who would GIVE FREELY of what they have to help those in need, and the wealthier people would blame themselves entirely for their want and need and sink into despairing depressions and probably commit suicide or be very, very angry and resentful people. The poor, now rich, people would help those who are needy and the needy and resentful people would be too prideful to accept the help offered, or would snatch it thinking they still deserved it and resent them all the same.
Not saying EVERYONE would be like this, of course!! Just an idea to think about is all.
I've known people who worked hard for years and became millionaires and flaunt what they have thinking it's all due to their hard work and nothing else, and then even those that work hard for years and become millionaires and then suddenly lose it all. They have the hardest adjustment going from rich to poor. They think that going from nice food to ramen noodles and bread and butter is the hardest think they've ever had to endure and they go on and on about it like "woe is me". Very few millionaires actually make it back down to POVERTY level.
Some of the nicest and best people I've EVER met have been those who have very little or nothing at all.
I know what I'm talking about here. I've LIVED in a third world country.
I've been VERY POOR most of my life, but it is nothing in comparison to what it's like living in a third world country. Believe me. You have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER of what POOR and POVERTY-STRICKEN is until you live among those who are afflicted with these.
Okay, on another thing to think about.
What would you do if you had this budget to go off of?:
1800.00 month income
car payment 250.00
Dr bills 200.00 month, minimum
Internet & phone 150.00
Food & Gasoline & Necessities 500-700.00
Rent/Mortgage 750.00
Utilities 150.00
Tithing 180.00
am I missing anything??
What if only one spouse can work? What if there is only one parent? What if both spouses are working or one is going to school and working or one to school and the other working? What if one is consistently sick/ill hence the reason for the high doctor bills and cannot keep a steady job? What if small children require mother to stay home? What if their priorities are DIFFERENT from yours and you have no good reason to judge but you see a financial problem here?
I'm sure you'd like to say "take this and this out, budget this, get more income" blah blah blah.
The truth is we all live in different incomes and different budgets for different reasons. We can judge and say, "they're foolish with their money" but how do you KNOW THAT for sure?? How can you judge that when you don't know what's in their heart, what they've worked out together to be their priorities, and who are you to decide what priorities are justified and what are wrong?
Pretty much God has said some very plain, basic and simple things FOR ALL PEOPLE to follow, and anybody who has common sense and can care about humanity and their fellow men can follow these simple rules, no matter who made them be it God or Aristotle or Budha.
Give to the poor.
Do not judge, it is God's place to judge.
Give to the needy.
Do not suffer anyone to go hungry or naked.
Share your talents, money, abilities, food, clothing, houses, all that you have with others to help them.
Do not kick people out of your "synagogues" (sp bad, sorry) because they are without.
Well, those are just a few things that God has said. I guess take them for what they are worth.
But really, if we are to hoard our money and judge those who don't live the same way we do then we'll never change. We'll always be devided into classes and there will always be pride and poverty.
And remember, above all else, that EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING you have is not yours, no matter how much you think it is, and that includes your income or inheritance. It is God's. We all were created equal. God does not esteem one man above another. And God gives to us so that we'll learn to give to others and accept what is given to us with gratefulness.
P.S. That is not our budget I have listed here. Just so ya know!

Father AND Mother Must Nurture Their Children

“The scriptures use the word nurture only twice and in both cases speak of the responsibility of parents to raise their children ‘in the nurture and admonition of the Lord’ (Ephesians 6:4; Enos 1:1).“President Hinckley also admonished both men and women to be nurturers. He said, ‘How much more beautiful would be the . . . society in which we live if every father . . . and . . . mother regarded [their] children . . . as gifts from the God of heaven . . . and brought them up with true affection in the wisdom and admonition of the Lord.’ ”
Susan W. Tanner, “My Soul Delighteth in the Things of the Lord,” Ensign, May 2008, 82

I think this is a GREAT quote that all parents must consider and really put some thought to. It's not JUST the mother's responsibility to nurture her children, but it is the father's also.

Afterall, doesn't our Father in Heaven nurture all of us as His children? Just like he nurtures us all, being our FATHER, so should all fathers nurture their children.

All children are gifts from God to us. And we must treat and raise them as such. They must know this about themselves, about their future children, and also to realize the sanctity of all human life.

MRI & Nerve Test & Sick Girlies!

So today I had my tests I've been waiting for. I was going to have to wait until next week for the stress test but my doc got me in today. That was pretty narly.

It was NOT what I expected! It was so weird!! Cuz sometimes I like weird things parts of it I liked and it made me giggle, but other parts were not so fun.

What they do is stick these little monitors on and a mini ultrasound machine and skinny, long, pins or needles inside the muscles/nerves and metal clips and SHOCK you! They do it until the muscles and nerves respond the way they want I guess. My right arm and hand took 3-4 shocks before it'd jerk and hurt and the left arm and hand would take 1-2 shocks, generally. The left arm and hand hurt worse than the right. A couple spots KILLED!! But my right arm and hand kinda tickled and made me giggle. Some of the shocks I kinda liked. Call me demented I guess LOL.

Well, I know there was a difference between the two arms and hands but I can't tell you if it was significant enough or what exactly this test was for. I've never heard of it before and don't know all the reasons for having them for. I know he wanted to see if I have carpal tunnel in my right wrist, but why he'd test both hands and arms on both sides I don't know. I just found it a bit interesting.

Then I had my MRI. It went well. I got copies of my brain hee hee. My sister, dad and I looked at them and Andrea showed me different parts of my brain and stuff. From what I could tell I look just fine everywhere, but I'm not an expert so who knows what to look for, right? Besides my neurologist and the radiologist! haha. So I have to wait, again, for the results. Oh well!! I figure if it's serious enough I'll hear from my Neurologist or my doc sooner than my next appointment, if they get the results before I bring my copies in or not.

Well, my little girlies have Strep Throat! And, Sophie started throwing up today and getting a fever! Poor little girly! So we're gonna stop her omoxycillan (sp) to see if she's allergic to that and then put her back on it to see if it's what's making her throw up. Kinda sucks for her! So she could have the stomach flu on top of strep throat. My poor baby! She catches everything!!

We're still waiting for Tyler's blood work to come back to see if he has mono, too. I would not be surprised at all, unless he's having sympathy pains for me and/or is just plain fatigued nearly to death because of all the stress he's been going through!
His wife is sick, his girls are sick, we keep getting sued and crap and he can't work enough hours and I can't get a job..... the list goes on. Just when he needs good friends to support him some are too busy and others aren't here... it's so sad.

Okay, anyway, so the waiting game is on to hear about my results and Tyler's. I'll keep y'all posted, even if it's just my blog I'm keeping posted LOL.

Update on the Neurologist Appointment, etc

Today was the day of the Neurologist. I'm glad I got to finally go. I was impressed with his waiting room. Big TV, nice comfy couch, pages for the girls to color with a big bowl of crayons, nice staff, quiety atmosphere, nice and clean and clutter-free.
He did a series of regular tests, like my reflexes, how I walk, muscle strength, eyes, etc. After all of that he decided to have me get a nerve test done to see if I have carpal tunnel in my right hand, and a test for my oxygen levels at night to see if I need a sleep-study for Sleep Apnea, and an MRI to see if I've had a stroke. He is currently going to treat me for migraine's, too, so I get to start this medication that treats high blood pressure, too.
I meet with him again in 3 weeks after all the test results are done and to see how the migraine medication works.
Then we took Lacie to her Pediatrician for her 5 yr old child exam. She's measuring really small and petite. She comes by that fairly. Tyler's family is made up of a bunch of really small and petite people. My family is made up of a bunch of underweighties. So there you have it. Small and short. I'm going to tower over my own children. lol
While there Lacie WAS going to get like 4 shots! But her tonsils were swollen as well as her glands. They tested her and she has strep throat!!! Surprise!!! She and Sophie BOTH do!!!! Can you believe it??
When our kids are sick they don't really show it that much. They were saying "my throat hurts" and "I'm sick" but had no fevers and their behavior wasn't any different, so we really couldn't tell!!So they get to start their meds tonight.
Another thing, Lacie is going to have to see a foot specialist. Her pigeon-toedness is not getting better (which I expected it wouldn't) and she'll probably have to wear a brace on at least her right foot. I had the same deal when I was little. Poor Lacie can't stand on that foot alone or hop on it or anything. It's really handicapping her, the poor girl!!!
So there you have it. Our Health update of the day written tonight.

Test results on blood work back, etc

Okay,
So my doctor called me tonight and gave me my blood work results. I have a secondary internal infection apart from a staph infection in my nose and from the mono I already have. We don't know what the internal infection is so I'll have to get more blood cultures to figure that out.

I also have slightly high cholesterol. He said it's low enough that I should be able to maintain it with exercise and diet.

I get to double my acid reflux medication to see if that helps with my stomach pains and apply an ointment in my nose for that staph.

On Tuesday I go to see the neurologist to figure out why I had that temporary paralysis and why I'm so slow and fuzzy and headachey.

On the 26th I go to see the GI about my stomach. Sometime in between seeing the GI and now I need to get blood cultures done.

Frankly, I'm TIRED of all of this. I'm not going to go in and get them done unless I get sicker. Probably foolish, but right now I don't care. I'm way too tired and fatigued and worn out from everything to care right now. If it's bad enough then I figure I'd be in the hospital right now or will end up there. Either way, eh, oh well.

Another thing I'm tired about is having a few select people not take my issues seriously and brush them off. Yeah, that's annoying. Now I just figure oh well, who cares what they think. They're not compassionate or supportive so that's their problem, right?

Okay now back to my boring life of sitting on the couch and trying to squash out the loud and echoing sounds of my screaming children that echo loudly through my head all day long.

What is it NOW???

So I have been having more health issues, AGAIN! I swear it doesn't end!
My stomach still bloats huge when I eat and it hurts so bad! I had some blood work done and an ultrasound which turned up nothing, except Mono! Again!!!
That used to be unheard of, getting mono a second time once you've had it before. But I guess I'm a new case among a few other people like me who had re-flare-ups, according to my doc.

So last week, either Tuesday or Wednesday, I woke with a start at about 10:00am. The girls weren't awake yet (lucky me) so I just got halfway up and leaned onto my elbow getting ready to just get up. I leaned there for just a few moments when all of a sudden I lost ALL muscle! I didn't feel anything, just collapsed! My joints crashed together from the sudden weight of my body and I just layed there. I don't remember everything very well cuz I was kinda out of it, but I remember I couldn't move, I panicked a bit, so I just went back to sleep and slept for another good two hours!!!

Since then I've been really weak, super tired, and kinda "out of it". I don't know if that's from the recurring mono or from whatever it was that caused this "temporary paralysis".

I decided to call my doc's office just to let them know and put it on my file but they said I had to come in anyway. So I went in and my doc was concerned. He said it was either a seizure, a stroke, or a weird passing-out (which he said is unlikely though of course possbile) or some other neurological or heart issue. So, tomorrow morning I have to go back there to get MORE blood work done for potassium levels, my cholesterol to see if it jumped higher again, maybe my mono to see where it's at, and see if I'm anemic among other things. YIPEE.

Then they're scheduling me an appointment to see a gastroenterologist to give me an endoscopy to see if I have an ulcer or something else in my guts. It's probably just super annoying Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which is NOT fun to have and incurable, but not life-threatening at all. They'll also schedule me an appointment to go see a Neurologist to do an MRI and an MRA to see what the heck caused my temporary paralysis. If that doesn't turn up anything then I'll see the cardiologist to see if it has something to do with my heart not getting the blood to my brain like it should, or something else.

So, here we go AGAIN with all my health issues, tests, and racking up our already HUGE medical debt!! None of the options sound nice to me, but I'm hoping it's not something like a stroke, MS, or seizures! Those are all BAD things to have!!

Anyway, I'm really sick and tired and weak right now. If anybody feels like they want to watch the girls for me or do my dishes or laundry or make us dinner then feel free to. hee hee hee!!! :) I know, I'm such a sponge, huh? hahaha

Love to you all!
God bless!

Santa Clause came last night!!

So guess what? Santa Clause came to our house last night!!

It was a total shock and surprise!! It was our bishop and his wife. I guess because they're the only ones that know our entire situation, despite what I write on here, they knew what we needed. They delivered two HUGE bags of wrapped gifts for the girls! They labeled everything, which is GREAT. The girls got 2 toys each and dresses, pajamas, socks and underwear and gift cards to Payless. PERFECT!! Just what we needed!

And, they also brought a big, round laundry basket full of food for Christmas!! YUMMY!!! Of course when people help us like this we feel guilty. It's hard not to, ya know? We didn't ask for it... but we DO appreciate it!

Anyway, I'm so grateful for that help and surprise! It was SO NICE!!

A Personal Update... & Daniel's HOME!!!!!

He’s Home!!!!! among other things....

So my little brother, Daniel, just got back from his mission that he served faithfully and successfully in Milan, Italy!!! YAY!!!!

We all drove to the airport at 12:30am and waiting not too long for Dannerdeem to get off the plain! It was so cute cuz Lacie could remember him and just smiled and smiled at him! Sophie recognized him but she was SO SHY! She kept hiding her face. It was so cute!

As soon as I saw him I started to cry!!! AAAHH!!!! My mom ran up to him like a crazy-lady and threw herself on him crying. It was so sweet and special and exciting. Then my sister was right behind her and my dad then me. I was carrying my darling fire-ball niece, Maddison, Erik's 1 yr old, and had both my beautiful girls with me, too. They saw him next.

We all took some pics at the airport with other families and of returned missionaries from Daniel's mission and around there.

Now get this, their flight WAS supposed to come in at 7:30 pm!! Wow so we waited forever!!! We helped clean and decorate mom's house for him, too.

Also, we've reheared (for like 10 minutes TOPS, as usual) to play in Andrea's single's ward Christmas program. Me violin, Andrea viola, Erik cello, mom cello, and Dad, Tyler, Glenn, Daniel, Michael & Joshua all singing. Our rehearsals are VERY INTERESTING. There is a lot of major goofing off that goes on and yelling, too!! hahaha. We have a blast. And we're all LOUD! haha. And we usually sound really super crappy when we rehearse, but then when it comes time to perform we all do pretty good, I think. I mean, people in Lehi always ask us to play for church and wedding stuff, so we must not suck, right? I'm just so glad Tyler is going to sing this time!! He has a GREAT voice, but he's so shy with it! LOL

Okay, so we've been sooooo busy getting ready for Daniel and now we're having parties for him. It's so exciting!! We haven't seen him for TWO YEARS!!! So if any of you feel like we've deserted you for this very special occassion, we're sorry. Tyler and I both decided this took priority over other events and what-not.... but family and friends are not forgotten.
Okay, back to "other things" lol.

So I'm having "health issues" AGAIN. Actually have been for a little while, just been trying to ignore them. Though, when it comes down to it all, after seeing a doc, I'm thinking my "issues" are just something like Irritable Bowel Syndrome or my Gastritis (which I know I have already) flaring up with my Endometriosis and my Thyroid hormone levels changing again. BLAH. I hate this. It's so annoying. I take 5 pills a day now, and will be taking 1-2 more a day now. I'm 30! Not 50 or 60!! Sheeeesh!! lol

So I had MAJOR stomach cramping the other day. Every time I eat my stomach bloats up HUGE and I look very super pregnant. It's so uncomfortable! I find it funny when people look at me thinking I'm pregnant and smile. It's hilarious. They think, "aww, a pregnant lady!!" and I think, "aw, they think I'm pregnant! hahahaha".

We went to see A Christmas Carol put on by the Grooms family that used to own and run CEnter Street mUscial Theater that we used to play in the orchestra pit for and act in's last performance EVER. It was sad!! I mean, it was GOOD, but we were all sad that it's all over now! Anyway, afterward Sharalyn Grooms, the mommy, thought I was preggo and poked my belly. hahahahahaha!!!!! I thought it was so funny!! I should've said, "ooh! ooh!" like the PIllsbury Dough Boy but I didn't want to embarrass her further when I said, "nope, I'm not!". She's had 7 kids and had a tummy tuck a couple years back she told me. That'll probably be me, too. My mom HAS to have one cuz her belly's herniated severely!!! She's SUPER skinny, but has that poky-outy-belly. poor mom!! She's in her 50's and people STILL ask if she's pregnant!!! lol
Okay, anyway, back to my tummy pain.

So it was sooooo bad I couldn't move at all. I was extremely nauseated. Here's the deal. I CANNOT throw up. You think lucky me? NO WAY!!!! Not being able to throw up is WORSE than throwing up. I know, cuz I've done both! lol. My stomach hurts and cramps seriously and severely because I cannot throwup to relieve the crampiness or nausea like most people do. I'm sure I had the stomach flu, but it was soooo amplified by my Acid Reflux and my Gastritis.

Anyway, by the end of that one day I coudln't move, I hadn't eaten ANYTHING or drank ANYTHIGN. I could not. I was soooo sick. Wow yeah. So I went into the InstaCare cuz I just couldn't function. They did blood work on me to see if it's a Peptic Ulcer. I would not be surprised.... but I haven't heard back from them, so I'm guessing it's not. The doc said I have to see my regular doc to get an Endoscopy to see if I have stomach cancer or pancreatic cancer.

Pancreatic Cancer is more likely he said because of having my gall bladder removed at a young age for being DISEASED and not contaminated like most people's are. I was skinny, young, and female, which made my gall bladder disease very very rare. And a lot more serious. They warned me that having it removed will increase my chances for having stomach or pancreatic cancer by like 20-30% more likely. Plus my acid reflux doesn't help that much, either. And all the meds I take. And the endometriosis.

BUT, I think I'm okay. I can feel something's wrong... but I'm sure it's not serious, just annoying. It's probably Irritable Bowel Syndrome or just all my other illnesses really acting up due to the stress I've been under. That's very likely.

Oh, and still not pregnant. BUMMER. I'll be starting Clomid soon to hopefully induce pregnancy, which will increase my chances of having twins, which I DO hope I have! I want more than 2 kids! 2 kids are not enough!! I want at least 4 kids!!

Let's see, what else.

Oh, Lacie gets to start piano lessons soon! I'm sooooooo excited!!!!! I think she'll do great! I did teach her violin lessons when she was 3 for a few months or a year and she did really well for her age. I am almost Suzuki Instructor Certified (have to finish some practice hours training then I'll be ligit) but it was fun practicing with Lacie. I'm sure we'll get her started up when we can afford the violin rental again. Or cello. Or whatever else she'd like to play.

Ummm..... what else.

OH! I now am a Mary Kay Constultant!!! I'm dead serious about this now because I tried doing it YEARS ago but had horrible team members and NO training or anyting!! Plus, I was just getting engaged then married and having LOTS of family problems and trials, a very sick pregnancy that was high-risk, and many, many other problems, so I could not do it. Anyway, I wanna let any of you know that like Mary Kay products or want to try any that you can contact me. For family I'll give a discount. OKAY OKAY for some friends I might, too . But if anyone wants to host a party for me to practice with I'd LOVE it!! I'll give you a prize, do all the inviting, and set the whole darned thing up!!! So let me know, ? And you won't have to buy anything and I won't expect you to, either. (though that WOULD be nice cuz it'll help us out, but that's okay if not!!).

And, I'm seriously considering going to dental school... or at least getting a certificate to be a Dental ASsistent. Cool, eh? I'd be working with my cousin from my mom's side and with my cousin from my dad's side's girlfriend!! WEird, eh? Tyler's excited for me.

OH!!! AND, I get to be on a website for Jed Knudsen being a Website "celebrity" by working for clients... go to http://www.websitetalkingheads.com to see what it is exactly that I'll be doing. Jed called me personally to ask me to work for him!! YIPEEEE!!! It really pays to have connections!! I will make upwards of 1500.00 to 2000.00 or more a month!! YAY!!!!! And that's doing very, very little. I'm so stoked! So excited!!

Oh, Jed's kinda a famous guy. First, he did my photos for Mrs Utah United States Pageant, our temple sealing day photos, and several LDS themed movies. Just look him up. Jed Knudsen. He did "People Say The Darndest Things About Mormon's", among other things. And a Craig Swapp ad like I did. And other movies. Anyway, he and I swear we know each other from some other time but cannot remember for the life of us!!! hahaha. I don't know if he realizes I've gained so much weight since he saw me last, BUT, maybe he saw me on TV and thought I'd be okay anyway. So yeah, I think i t'll be really fun.

Okay, what else. (I know, that's getting redundant!!)

Oh, Tyler's stressed super super super bad!!!! well, me too obviously or my body wouldn't be freaking out like it is LOL. We apparently owe MORE than $10,000.00 in medical debt. Oh sure, that might sound like a small or reasonable amount of money, nothing big, to lots of people, but to US, it's HUGE and impossible to pay off. That's not our only debt, either. Credit cards were a NECESSITY to pay for gasoline, food, clothing, etc.
And then there were some stupid debts we accrued, but nothing huge, just little things here and there. We've been harshly judged in the past and people think we've spent our money foolishly and are not paying for it. Um, look at our medical debt. That's not our fault at all. Come to our house and see what we own. OLD and used furniture, and PAID for table & chairs, etc. We aren't as foolish as many of you think, honestly.
Okay, enough of that!!

Right now we feel soooooo bad that we can't help others with their Christmas!! If any of you need or would like to know some who NEED help this year here are a few:
Kristen & Kevin Lanier (just had a new baby). Tau & Mollee Suafo'a (having a new baby any day or already did). Joe & Regina Pearson. My parents & siblings. Michelle Wolfert's and her girls.

And I'm sure there are more that I just can't think of at this time. hee hee. I'm sure this'll embarrass them, but they need help.
Normally we'd be buying more for others than for ourselves. We've needed food and other necesities, but this year Christmas is good. It's worked out. We're really excited!! I wish we could get stuff for all the people I mentioned above!! I wish that the wealthy people we know would have some charity to help, too. It's sad. I know soooooo many WEALTHY people who pretend they aren't wealthy or cry they're poor or think they make "normal" amounts of money but in reality they're very wealthy and won't help anyone cuz they blame everyone for their own circumstances and blah blah blah.
Wow I have a really tender and sore spot there about that. AFter all, my parents and us have been GREATLY misjudged by friends and family alike where the finances are concerned.

You know we went to a special place to see if we could consolidate our debt and after reviewing everything three times they said "the only hope for you guys is to either stop paying your tithing and eventually get your debt paid down until we can help you or file bankruptcy". Wow, that was a kick in the gut. So we feel kinda helpless about our situation, but we are not losing hope!! No way Jose!!!! We believe we can get ourselves out of this!! We're both going to do our very best to do that. Even if we end up losing everything while getting there!!!

Okay, I want you all to know that I love Tyler will alllll of my heart, soul and mind. I love my beautiful girls as much but in different and in some similar ways. I love all my family, even if some of them hate me (which some of said they do, immature jerks), and I love all my friends. I have a testimony of God's love for me and my family and of everyone. I have a testimony of God's church & kingdom. I love Christmas and am very excited for it. It's a beautiful time of year for so many reasons! I used to be a true-blue Scrooge!! But thank you Tyler, you saved me!

LOL. I am happy, and doing my best, and growing and learning and trying to be my best. If you are offended by anything I say or do, well, that's your problem for being offended (hee hee hee). I cannot please everyone and I've wasted too much of my life trying to do so to the extent that I was trying at. Of course I'll always be a people-pleaser. God made me that way for a reason, and a good one at that I am sure, but I'm not going to kill myself trying to please EVERYONE, especially those that just can never be satisfied.

WOW am I long-winded this morning!!! It's probably cuz I'm taking an Oxycodone thanks to my arthritis and cramps and BAD tummy pains, but eh, whatever!!!

Oh, guess what I ate today? I had 1/2 of an Arby's melt and like 3 curly fries before I felt like I was going to die and puke while doing so, then later finished the rest. That's it. Yeps. All I could handle today. Food is gross. YUCK!!! hahaha.

okay, this is soooo long I highly doubt anybody read this!!! Maybe Kathy & Kimberley did... Amy MIGHT, but I'm sure she's going to be SUPER SUPER busy thanks to coming to Utah to visit (HALLELUIA!!) and Aunt Kay might, if she checks this.... but otherwise, eh, oh well. This was mostly for me, anyway. But I love you all!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

CHRISTmas? Or Happy Holiday's??

*Twas the month before Christmas*

*When all through our land,*

*Not a Christian was praying*

*Nor taking a stand.*

*See the PC Police had taken away,*

*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*

*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*

*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*

*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*

* December 25th is just a 'Holiday'.*

*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*

*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*

*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*

*Something was changing, something quite odd! *

*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*

*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*

*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*

* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*

*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*

*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*

*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*

*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*

*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*

*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!*

*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*

*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*

*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*

* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*

*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*

*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*

*So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'*

*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*

*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*

*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS , not Happy Holiday!*

Please, all Christians join together and
wish everyone you meet
MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christ is "The Reason" for the Christ-mas Season!

-author unknown